But, Lord, I'm A Southern Baptist

Looking For Answers

At my next revival, I was able to spend many hours alone in my hotel room, where I continued to meditate on the things I�d heard. I studied the Bible and other books, and I DEVOURED 1 Corinthians 12 and 14�chapters that deal with spiritual gifts. As I did so, spiritual conflict erupted in my mind.

I had always believed that speaking in tongues was not genuinely spiritual. I never thought the practice was of the devil, but I just thought it was a situation where people got psychologically and emotionally worked up. They would then speak out of the groanings of their hearts, and claim it was God. I had always been taught that unless these "tongues" could be understood by the speaker AND the hearers, they were worthless! So began a struggle with my traditional beliefs, the Siffords� testimony, and Biblical truth.

Indeed, I was like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind (James 1:6). I read the entire Book of Acts, and, as I read, I was consumed by an overwhelming feeling of LACK. I read about the workings of the apostles in Acts, and I noticed a recurring phrase that concludes many of the great stories: "God confirmed their ministry with signs and wonders." MY MINISTRY HAD NEVER BEEN CONFIRMED WITH SIGNS AND WONDERS! The only confirmation I�d gotten at Pythian Avenue was a boost in attendance. But when you start with 16 people, that�s not hard to do.

"IF �TONGUES� IS JUST A LANGUAGE THAT THE HEARER IS SUPPOSED TO ALREADY KNOW, WHY WOULD ONE NEED AN INTERPRETER? THE INTERPRETER WOULD BE NEEDED ONLY IF THE SPEAKER SPOKE IN A LANGUAGE THE HEARER DID NOT KNOW!"

I noticed that Paul also said in 1 Cor. 14:13 that the one speaking is to ask for an interpretation, so, obviously, the speaker doesn�t know the language either!

I had always been able to dismiss these things before, but now, I was struggling with an undeniable feeling of inadequacy. I felt powerless, drained, mystified. As I drove to my third revival of October 1996, I became absolutely consumed with these thoughts.

"HOW CAN I LOSE THIS FEELING? WHAT MUST I DO TO FIND FULFILLMENT? WHY AM I NOT DISPLAYING THE KIND OF POWER THAT THE SIFFORDS REFERRED TO, OR THAT THE APOSTLES DISPLAYED? MUST I SPEAK IN TONGUES TO GAIN THIS KIND OF POWER? WHY DID PAUL PLACE SUCH AN EMPHASIS ON PROPHECY, TONGUES AND INTERPRETATIONS OF TONGUES IN 1 CORINTHIANS 12 AN 14?" God was beginning to challenge my theological beliefs.