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I found this on the internet last year and liked it so much I printed it out and showed it to everyone at our Department. I'm not sure who originally wrote it, so if anyone happens to know, please email me so I can give credit to the author!
AIN'T IT THE TRUTH!
The CHIEF of police leaps tall buildings in a single bound, is more powerful than a locomotive, is faster than a speeding bullet, walks on water and gives policy to God.
The ASSISTANT CHIEF leaps short buildings in a single bound, is more powerful than a switch engine, is just as fast as a speeding bullet, walks on water if it is calm and talks to God.
The CAPTAIN leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable wind conditions. He is almost as powerful as a switch engine and if faster than a speeding bullet. He walks on water of an indoor pool and talks to God if a special request is approved.
The LIEUTENANT barely clears quonset huts, loses tugs of war with locomotive, can fire a speeding bullet, swims well and is occasionally addressed by God.
The SERGEANT makes high marks when trying to leap buildings, is run over by locomotives and sometimes handles a gun without inflicting self injury. He can dog paddle and talks to himself.
The DETECTIVE runs into buildings, recognizes locomotives two out of three times, is issued ammunition, can stay afloat if properly instructed and talks to water.
The PATROLMAN falls over door sills when trying to enter buildings, says "Look at the Choo-Choo!", wets himself with a water pistol and mumbles to himself.
The DISPATCHER lifts buildings and walks under them, kicks locomotives off the tracks, catches speeding bullets in her teeth then chews them, and freezes water with a single glance. The Dispatcher IS God!!
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To Call or Not To Call....
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Reasons to call 911:
1. Your house, car, significant other is on fire.
2. You are bleeding from a gaping wound.
3. You have just witnessed an auto accident.
4. Someone is breaking into your home.
5. A postal employee is wielding a gun by your mailbox.
6. Someone is choking, having a heart attack, etc.
7. A major brawl has broken out and chairs are swinging.
8. You see a major crime in progress.
9. A plane just crashed in that field over there.
10. You need major help, NOW!
Reasons NOT to call 911:
1. The neighbors are having a loud party.
2. You can't remember what time the parade starts in the morning.
3. You want to call the dispatcher back to thank him/her for his/her help earlier.
4. You can't remember the number for the operator.
5. You need a ride home because you are trashed.
6. It's fun to call 911 and then hang up.
7. A baby bird fell out of a tree.
8. You have a Dr. appointment later for a checkup and can't find a ride.
9. The neighbor flipped you off and called you a bad name.
10. You like to see those men in blue drive real fast.
I might add that ALL of the above reasons for NOT calling 911 have happened to me over the last few years I've been dispatching. PLEASE people! If you see yourself on this list in the DONT'S, get a clue! 911 is for emergencies ONLY!
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