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...or how to say Balderdash and really mean it!
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As many of you know, there are many differences between US and UK English. Normal, everyday words here in the US often have very different meanings across the sea. Some of those definitions make all the difference whether YOUR English is perceived as THEIR English. Here is a list of some common words on both sides of the sea and what they mean. Enjoy!
Fag -- In the US, a derogatory term for a homosexual. If you call someone a 'fag' in the UK, you will be referring to them as a cigarette.
Faggots -- In the US, the plural form of fag. In the UK, either meatballs made from offal (chopped liver) in gravy (ewwww). Also a samll bundle of logs for the fireplace.
Pants -- Those things we wear over our underwear. In the UK, they ARE underwear.
Rubber -- Slang term for a prophylactic. The Brits commonly refer to a rubber as a pencil eraser. If a Brit asks if you have a rubber they can use, they aren't being forward...they are simply asking to borrow your eraser!
Fanny -- To us, a polite slang term for the rear end. To the Brits, the FRONT bottom, not the rear end.
Pavement -- A road meant to be driven on with an automobile. To them, a sidewalk. Don't drive on the pavement in the UK unless you like pedestrians for hood ornaments!
Shag -- A form of dance from the psychedelic days. If you ask someone to shag in Britain, you may likly be slapped for being to forward as this word is slang having sex.
Waistcoat -- A vest to those of us in the US.
Football -- This is obvious. Football is an American tradition. To them though, football is soccer. I suppose this makes sense as in soccer one's foot tends to make more contact with the ball than in American football.
Baseball -- Another great American pasttime. In the UK, this game is called 'Rounders'. The rules are the same, but they use a short baton designed to be swung with one hand.
Zucchini -- A vegetable terribly overgrown by gardners across the US. To them, it is a courgette.
Milky Way -- A candy bar filled with yummy nougat and caramel. Their equivilant is the Mars Bar. (Wait...that's a DIFFERENT type of candy bar here. This gets even better. See next term.)
Three Musketeers -- A fluffly nougat filled candy bar. In the UK, a Milky Way. (Couldn't we get the candybars straight guys??)
French fries -- Those overly greasy yet yummy deep fat fried potatoes 'strings'. In the UK, they are called chips. But, what do they call chips? See next term.
Chips -- Doritos, tostitos, etc. They call them crisps.
To "knock someone up" -- Here, it means you've gotten a gal pregnant. Over there, it's not so bad to "knock up" your girlfriend, for this really means to wake someone up in the morning so they won't be late.
Pastie -- One of those cutsie little things American males like to see on the nipples of strippers. In the UK, it is a meat and potatoe pastry. Wouldn't you just love to see THAT on a nipple, guys?
Trunk -- The rear of a car. In Britain, the boot.
Spunk -- An American slang term for -- to put it bluntly -- semen. In the UK it is a term for feeling spunky or having alot of energy.
Woody -- An affectionate term for an old station wagon type vehicle with the wood paneling. Also slang for a 'hard-on'. Across the see, this is a description of a wine that has taken on the flavor of the barrels it has aged in.
Hood -- The front section of a car covering the engine. In the UK, this is called the bonnet.
Gas -- To us, the stuff we put in our cars to make them go. To them, it's natural gas used for heating, cooking, etc. Their gas is called petrol.
Bathroom, Restroom -- Where we 'go'. The Brits seem to think we are ashamed of the 't' word since we use such polite names for it. They refer to it as: the loo, a bog, a kharzi, shithouse, but mainly, just 'the toilet'.
Beer -- A common beverage in the US. Across the sea, they call it lager. I find I prefer their 'beer' better as it is stronger and has a fuller flavor. American beer is so watered down and dull.
Cookies -- Eaten with milk and baked by grandma's all over the US. To the Brits, they are crackers. Yuck. I'm sure many American kids are disappointed when they go the Britain, are asked if they would like some cookies, and are served the equivilant of Saltines!
Randy -- Here, it is a common first name. One word of advice if your name is Randy...DON'T walk up to a Brit, shake their hand and say, "Hi! I'm Randy!". Chances are you will be slapped or laughed at for randy means HORNY over there. You'd be better off to use your full name...Randall.
Kip -- A popular move used by gymnasts on the uneven bars. Across the sea, it has a more sedentary meaning for it means to take a nap.
Driving a Stick -- I do this all the time...driving a car with manual transmission. If I were to ask a driving teacher over there whether or not he could teach me how to 'drive a stick', it would cause potential embarassment!
Jelly -- A wonderful thing we spread on bread that is made from the juices of fruit and gelled. Their equivalent of this is Jell-o.
Stones -- Rocks. To them, a unit of measurement for weight. 1 stone=14 pounds
Lift -- Here we use this word to mean picking something up. Over there, it is an elevator. A word of warning for American hitch hikers in the UK: Ask for a 'lift' and not a 'ride'. The driver may think it's his lucky day otherwise and make unwelcome amorous advances!
Knickers -- Here they are knee length pants (which the Brits call breeches). In the UK, knickers are what go underneath pants. (Generally, men wear pants and women wear knickers)
Sweater -- A knitted covering worn to keep warm. They call them jumpers.
Wrench -- Used to adjust bolts. Across the sea, it is called a spanner.
Slash -- A tear in something. Over there, it literally means to urinate. Now how could those two terms get more messed up?
French Kiss -- Kissing someone and inserting one's tongue into their mouth. They call this 'snogging'. How romantic. LOL "Honey, would you SNOG me"?
Lemonade -- A popular summer drink made from lemons, sugar and water. THEIRs is carbonated. What we call lemonade, they call squash. (See, they do have an uncarbonated version too).
Crosswalk -- The spot where pedestrians can (supposedly) cross the street safely. In the UK, this is called a pelican crossing. The name is derived from its full name being "PEdestrian LIght CONtrol"
Pads -- Slang for those lovely things we women are forced to use once a month. They call them towels. Could you imagine wearing a whole TOWEL between your legs?? (Sorry if I grossed you guys out, but HEY, it's a fact of life) I also found out that some of their 'towels' have wings too! :)
Bum -- A homeless person looking for handouts. THEY use it to refer to one's butt.
Truck -- The vehicle that no honorable farmer would be without. They call them lorries.
Garters -- Those things men here find OH so sexy. They hold up stockings/nylons. In the UK, these are called suspenders. (And here I'd always thought they were just for holding pants up on old men with flat butts!)
Twat -- A vulgar term used by vulgar people to refer to a females sexual organs. (I hate that term) The Brits have a much more polite definition of this gross word. Twat is a mild insult meaning 'idiot'.
Bloody -- Something covered with blood--duh! Over there it is a mild English swear word although they claim not to use it much anymore and say it has been over-rated on American programs portraying the Brits. Actually, they use the 'f' word as much as we do and that word is even allowed on tv after 9pm as long as it is used in a non-gratuitous way.
Policeman -- The people I work with! No, really though, an officer that patrols and makes sure the streets are safe for all us good people. In the UK, their police are called: bobbies, peelers, cops, pigs, rozzers, coppers, etc. I was astonished to find out that police in the UK are unarmed! Brave, but stupid.
Cock -- There are 4 obvious meaning that are common to both the US & UK: A penis(willy for them), male bird, to ready a gun and to knock/place something center. In the UK, there is a fifth term. If a person says "Ello cock!" they are greeting you as a close personal friend.
Siverware -- That stuff we eat with. They call it cutlery. Sounds too fancy for hot-dish to me.
Z -- The last letter of the alphabet. We call it Zee...they call it Zed. A whole generation in England has had to relearn the alphabet after hearing the 'alphabet song' on Sesame Street! :)
Bar hopping -- What I like to do when I have a night off. If I were to do this in England, I would be 'pub crawling'. Sounds like they are drunk before they go out if they do that!
Drunk -- What one gets while bar hopping or pub crawling with friends. What we call 'tipsy' or slightly drunk, they refer to as feeling squiffy. If you are 'trashed' as we say, then you would be completely wankered, plastered, rat-arsed or bullocked in the UK.
Having fun -- This is a comparison between the US and UK sense of humors. Americans will join in with anyone - even a complete stranger - if they look like they are enjoying themselves. The English would rather die than do this. Also, at Disneyland, upon seeing Mickey Mouse, and American would bounce up to him and say, "Hey! It's Mickey Mouse! How are you Mickey?" even when he is with a group of adults. An Englishman would say "Good grief man! It's a bloke in a silly costume - can't you see that?" and walk off. This is an example of the English sense of humor backfiring. The Englishman thinks he is being ironic. The Americans think he is a miserable 'sod'.
Rugby -- A town in my home state. No seriousely though, it is a sport similar to US football over in the UK. Rugby players are known for their ability to drink and chunder (vomit).
Telephone -- That thing we use to call people. In the UK, it is also called 'dogs and blowers'. If and Englishman says "I had a good natter on the blower last night", he is saying "I had an interesting and stimulating telephone conversation yesterday".
Women -- The female sex that males love to follow around while bar hopping. The Brits affectionately call a woman a 'totty'.
Pacifier -- The thing you stick in a baby's mouth to stop him/her from crying. They call these a dummy.
Bugger -- Something really difficult as in "That test was a bugger!". Don't call it that in the UK though. This word means sodomy over there. It is also a swear word akin to our 'damn'.
Flat -- What happens to your tire when you drive over a sharp object. In the UK, it's where you live.
Pharmacy -- Where we buy (legal) drugs. They refer to this as the Chemist's.
Toilet paper -- That lovely stuff used to clean our rears in the bathroom. They call it bog roll.
Chaps -- Commonly worn by cowboy type people to protect their legs from brush and other annoying things while riding horseback. Over there, a chap is a 'good 'ol boy' or a much trusted male friend. This word is used interchangably with bloke to describe someone who is 'one of the boys' but not a close pal.
Yank -- To pull quickly on something, as in to yank a tooth. The Brits refer to Americans as Yanks. It doesn't matter if we're from the north or the south, they call us all Yanks.
Cider -- Made of apples and generally drunk around the holidays with a cinnamon stick thrown in for some extra kick. In the UK, their cider has booze in it. A stronger form (which apparently knocks one on his/her ass) is called "Scrumpy".
On the job -- Working. In the US if someone was killed 'on the job', it would be a terrible thing and workmans comp. would fill in. In the UK, they would be upset, but probably applaud for the way you went because on the job is having sex!
Smart -- A person with a 4.0 GPA. To them, it means 'dressed sharply'.
Ladder -- An item that you climb. Unfortunately for women in the UK, this means a run in their nylons.
Grunt -- The noise a pig makes OR a 'gofer'. Make sure you say, "excuse me" if you grunt in England, for you will have just farted.
Sod -- The stuff you put on your lawn. Across the sea? It is slang for an undesirable person.
Flashlight -- A very useful thing when you are in the dark. Brits calls these 'torches'-not to be mistaken with the flaming kind!
Queer -- Slang for a gay person. If you were queer in the UK, it would mean that you are looking 'under the weather' or sick.
And on a final note, some English (UK) swear words. Use them with caution!:
Wanker--Someone who wanks (masturbates)
Bollocks--Commonly referred to as 'balls' or 'nuts' in the US. You figure it out.
Nancy boy--A male who expresses either a sexual preference for his own gender or acts in a less than masculine way.
Spanner--not only a wrench, but in slang terms a geek, nerd, dork or dweeb.
Tosser--See Wanker and use your imagination!
Slag--A woman of uncertain worth and reliability.
Wanger--Describes a penis or an attempt by the alcoholically challenged to say wanker.
Plonker--penis
Naff off--go away!
Wazzock--a fool or idiot
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