You carried me inside, seven months too short.

Me inside, you stroked your tummy

You sang to me, told me stories.

You loved me for me, just because I was me.

It was just you and me.

IT was time for me to come.

I was born premature and oh so sick.

Sitting at my isolate, you stroke my tiny fingers

Longing to hold me one last time.

Your mom came and took you away.

You left me all alone

No one to bond with, just me all alone.

You had many years to grow

Many years to succeed and fail

You grew up started a NEW life

My brother and sister were born

You loved them for they were apart of you

They grew and knew you

You had no demands on them

I was given away to a "special" hell

Struggling, I had to grow

Crying, I tried to be accepted

Love, what I wanted instead of abuse

I was hurting, all alone

Hurting, we longed for each other.

Where were you? Why didn't you come?

32 years of pain, why's, ifs, where's, who's, and could this be YOU's?

Finally after long hard search, I found you

We became close.

For the first time I felt loved

You told me stories of your life

Years worth of crying without me

You cuddled me in your arms

You said loved me for I was your "special" one

Claiming no expectations or demands.

Your daddy died.

Too much for you to bear, separating us once more

More why's, what ifs, and how comes.

One and half years later, you came back stronger than before

You told me you loved me for me, once more

You cuddled me in your arms

I was skeptical, was it a lie?

You hurt me before, I was afraid

You asked for honesty and risks

For you said relationships must take risks

I gave them and tried to meet your demands

With my brother and sister still at your side

My honesty and risks were too much for you to bear

You left me standing alone again.

Confusing, your words not matching your beliefs you share

Hurt once to many times before

I fear that this maybe the end.

For I can not be hurt again.

Copyright - Tina B (feelings of 1997)