THE BLACKMAN BEARD CORPERATION | ||||||||||||||||||
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BEARDED MAN SEEKS FANS- FULL STORY FOLLOWS: EDMONTON WAS ONCE A QUIET TOWN WHERE CHILDREN COULD GO OUT AND PLAY WITHOUT THE FEAR OF BEING INDANGERED. BUT NOW PARENTS WORRY FOR THE WELFARE OF THEIR CHILDREN AFTER A SIGHTING OF AN INSANE BEARDED MAN. ONE WITNESS SAID THIS ?HE WAS DRESSED UP IN BLUE SPANDEX WITH THE LETTER ?H? PRINTED ON HIS CHEST. HE ALSO CLAIMS TO BE OUR HERO. HE CARRIED A BRIGHT YELLOW STICK AND A BLACK HI-TECH BAG?. POLICE ARE WARNING PEOPLE NOT TO APPROACH THIS MAN FOR HE MIGHT CHALLENGE THEM TO A FIGHT, POSSIBLY INVOLVING THE YELLOW STICK. THE PUBLIC ARE ALSO REQUESTED NOT TO TRY TO MAKE ANY CONVERSATION WITH THIS MAN FOR HE MAY SUFFOCATE THEM WITH HIS BEARD. WE WILL KEEP YOU UPDATED IF THERE ARE ANY MORE SIGHTINGS OF THIS MAN. IF YOU HAVE ANY INFO, EVEN IF YOU FEEL IT IS IRRELEVANT PLEASE CALL THIS EMERGENCY NUMBER NOW: 0990- INSANE BEARD (0990-467263 23273) | |||||||||||||||||
| BEARDED MAN SAVES WOMAN WITH STICK | ||||||||||||||||||
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AN 87-YEAR-OLD WOMAN WAS SAVED TODAY FROM A GANG OF YOUTHS BY A BEARDED MYSTERY MAN. GLADYS KOLIKSSON WAS ON HER WAY HOME FROM THE SUPERMARKET WHEN A GROUP OF HOODLUMS ATTEMPTED TO ROB HER PURSE AND STEAL THE CONTENTS OF HER SHOPPING BAG (WHICH CONTAINED HER PRESCRIBED LAXITIVES AND PLAYBOY MAGAZINE). BUT WITH THE AID OF A MYSTERY BEARDED MAN AND HIS BRIGHT YELLOW STICK, BOTH HE AND GLADYS WERE ABLE TO FEND OFF THE SCUMBAG TEENS. GLADYS SAID "HE WAS SO BRAVE. HE CAME OUT OF NO WHERE. ONE MINUTE I WAS HAVING MY PENSION STOLEN, AND THE NEXT THIS SWEET MAN CAME TO MY RESCUE. HE WAS HOLDING A BRIGHT YELLOW STCK AND HE HIT ONE OF THEM IN THE HEAD. HE THEN HELD ONE OF THEM WHILE I GAVE THAT LITTLE BASTARD MY FAMOUS GRANNY DDT (I LEARNT THAT FROM CHRIS JERICHO) . AFTERWARDS HE CHASED THE LAST LITTLE BUGGER AWAY. MY HERO" GLADYS EXCLUSIVELY TOLD US THAT SHE WILL REWARD THAT MAN IF SHE SEES HIM. THE MAN WAS DESCRIBED AS TALL WITH A VERY BIG BEARD. HE WAS HOLDING A BLACK HI- TECH BAG AND KEPT SAYING " BE LIKE YOUR HERO". IF YOU HAVE SEEN A MAN WITH THAT DESCRIPTION PLEASE CALL: 0990 GALLSTONES (0990 4255786637) | |||||||||||||||||
| DRIVING INSTRUCTOR HELD HOSTAGE BY BEARDED MAN: | ||||||||||||||||||
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A DRIVING INSTRUCTOR WAS TODAY HELD HOSTAGE BY AN UN-NAMED BEARDED MAN. CHRIS FRANLON WAS HALFWAY THROUGH THE 1 HOUR LESSON WITH HIS STUDENT, WHEN SUDDENLY HE WAS ATTACKED. MR FRANLON SAID THIS ? WE WERE JUST GOING OVER OUR HIGHWAY CODE WHEN I ASKED HIM WHAT MUST HE DO WHEN HE IS DRIVING IN FOG AND THE DRIVER BEHIND SEEMS TO BE VERY CLOSE. TO WHICH HE REPLIED?. GET OUT, WALK TO THE DRIVER, PULL HIM OUT THEN PROCEED TO HIT HIM VIOLENTLY WITH MY KENDO STICK. WHEN I TOLD HIM THAT WAS INCORRECT HE GRABBED ME AND THREATENED TO FIGHT ME IN A CELL MATCH, WHATEVER THAT IS, WITH WEAPONS AROUND THE RING!! LUCKILY HE STALLED THE CAR AND CRASHED INTO A PARKED POLICE VAN. THERE WERE COPPERS EVERYWHERE.UNFORTUNATELY HE WAS LIGHTENING QUICK AND ESCAPED?. CHRIS GAVE THIS DESCRIPTION. ?HE WAS TALL, WORE NAVY PYJAMA BOTTOMS AND ALWAYS CARRIED A BLACK BAG AND A BRIGHT YELLOW STICK? IF YOU SEE THIS MAN PLEASE CALL THIS EMERGENCY NUMBER 0990 BEARDED LEARNER (0990) 2327337 532737) WWFWCW.com - News, Info, and PUPPIES! | |||||||||||||||||
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