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Jan-08-04         Jan-08-04         Jan-08-04         Jan-08-04         Jan-08-04        


Life


Life

As life continues for many of us, the more life seems to be complicated. As life continues, it seems that your choices for your own life will vary and become more difficult to decide on. The older that we get, we seem to have greater problems deciding on how to continue on with our lives. These things I have begun to notice as of lately.

There are many decisions that we have problems figuring out the best way to go as a solution. The decisions we have the greatest problems with, when you get older, is who to trust and where to keep them in your life. To be able to trust someone, today, is more difficult because in the past most people could be trustworthy. Now, most people are his/her own reasons to have you trust them. This has caused a lot of people to be wary with anyone that tries to earn your trust.

The decision on where to have other people in your life, and how close to let them; is a more difficult thing to decide on. The reason it is more difficult is because it is difficult to trust anyone to respect your wishes, and it is difficult to properly decide your emotional outlook on other people. Some people you will always want close, but not too close; and some people you don't want close to you at all. It is difficult to see who would be best for what position, however decisions like this are requested upon everyone every day.

To allow a person to know how you think and feel makes you trust that person a lot. When deeper feelings are used with this trust, your dependency of that person increases. If that person were to betray you/your trust, you have great difficulties in trusting that person or anyone else. This is the problem with the world today with everybody. The trust that people will earn/give can be taken away in a second if that trust is betrayed. There is always the chance to be hurt by other people, and the true strength of a person can be determined by how he/she proceeds after having his/her trust betrayed by another person.

Where most people you will meet, you will not trust immediately, which makes many people on edge when meeting new people. The world today is full of people that enjoy taking advantage of anyone that he/she finds that has his/her guard down. These people, in my opinion, should all be killed. These are the type of people that cheat people as much as possible, and make any good-hearted person distrust anyone that he/she meets. These types of people are usually politicians, however in more peaceful places these people can be anyone. It is unfortunate to say, however it is the truth. The ability to stop these people from gaining power over other people is starting to dwindle because everyone has problems trusting other people.

When a good-hearted person tries to make friends, everyone will be distrustful of the person because you will always look for the "other" reason behind this person trying to be your friend. In turn, the person has greater difficulties making friends and has a high chance to get hurt by other people in the process. I have been told lately, that I am one, of the very few, good-hearted people around today. I seem to trust everyone the first time that I meet him/her. I have the type of policy that I will show you a little bit of trust, however if you take advantage of that, you will not get any more. I use this type of policy at work, where I serve the public. To show some trust towards your customers, you show that there is still some good in the world. In turn, most people will show the same amount of trust to you; and others in the future. When you are able to do this to absolute strangers, you have a chance to gain some allies (not necessarily friends) in this world. If you are unable to trust some strangers, you have very little hope to gain new friends. Trust is a two-way highway; you will always need to show some trust to get that trust back. If you are unwilling to show the trust, what is the likelihood that the other person will show any trust too?

Life is full of uncertainties, however it is up to you to decide how to deal with those uncertainties. Some people will fight against everyone that he/she comes across, and some will not fight them. The decision is yours to trust people or fight against them, however I can say honestly that the world would be a safer place if more people trusted one and another. There are some people in the world that you can't trust, however showing some trust to everyone can prove to help you in the world. Whether the person is trying to hurt you or not, doesn't matter, it is the fact that you make the attempt to be a good person. This jester can make a difference in your life. It can help you talk with strangers, not necessarily about personal stuff, just being able to do "small talk" with him/her. This ability will help find people you can trust more easily than if you waited for him/her to make the first move.

Life is too short to keep people at a distance. I know from personal experience because I was in a state of depression for a good length of time. My family and friends knew that I was always in a foul mood, but didn't realize that I was depressed. They didn't realize that I was depressed until I finally admitted to it, myself. I wouldn't let anyone be close to me because I couldn't feel the necessity to have him/her close to me. My family/friends were never close enough to me to see what was wrong with me. I had family/friends that made me be social with them to try to get closer to me. I did the social things, had a little fun with him/her, but didn't let him/her close enough to me to see the problem. This was a bad move for me to do. For me to shut out everyone, and the emotions too was the worst move I have ever done. This depressed state that I was in; I am trying to recover from. The depressed state caused me to keep everyone at a distance, which caused me to look like a heartless bastard. This was the only way that I saw that I could deal with the world and not be hurt by the world at the same time. I believed that if I couldn't feel the hurt, I couldn't be hurt. I was wrong in this logic.

As I look back on my life, I see that I have wasted the part of my life that I was depressed. I regret almost everything that I did during that part of my life. The only positive thing that I can see about going through that depressed state is that I can see the warning signs in other people. I am able to see how close a person is getting to the line of depression, and I am able to try to help the person not cross that line. For a person to be depressed, it is sad to see and even worse for a person to experience. I will be dwelling over the fact I was depressed for the 10+ years because it was the biggest mistake of my life; and I have done quite a few bad mistakes. The best thing that I have done in my life is deciding to come out of the depressed state, and actually following through on it. Being depressed is not something I would wish upon my worst enemy, and definitely wouldn't advise any of you to attempt.

Although you control your life, I advise that you know your limits. Many people will tempt fate by pushing his/her own limits. The problem with this is that most people do not know his/her own limits, and will go to far with those limits. Life is unpredictable and can be costly to many people. Those that feel that life is too hard will try to take his/her own life. For those people it seems like the right thing to do, however it is the "coward's way" to deal with life. The pain and suffering that your loved ones will feel is too great a cost for someone to do. Those that do the "coward's way" to deal with life, do not consider the consequences of his/her actions. Life is here to experience, not to destroy. If you end your life too early, you are causing unnecessary pain and suffering. During my depressed state I considered death as an end, however I saw that it wasn't an option. Those that make an attempt for the end of his/her life, I can understand the need for an easy way out, however I cannot understand if he/she does it.

Everyone has a limit onto his/her own life. With the way that fate/destiny works, you are unable to predict the limits that your life has. Without the proper knowledge you will be doomed into not knowing when your time is up. It is my experience to test your limits, within standards, but not to test your life span. There were many times, countless times, that I considered ending my life. As you can see I am still here. Although I didn't feel any emotions during my depressed state, I knew how much my life was worth. There is no excuse to end your own life. To be depressed is a form of ending your life that very few can come back from doing. Many people end up in mental institutions due to this aspect. I see that life has more to offer when trust others and allow them to trust you. Without trust, there can be no true friendship with anyone. Also without friendships you will not experience the true nature to life.

Life gives you countless experiences; it is up to you whether you can have the courage to try some of the experiences. It is sad to see people unwilling to do something new. It is disturbing to me to see friends on the brink of depression. It is also disturbing to know that I can help them away from that brink if I am allowed to be closer to that person. I have friends that do not know what to do with his/her life, and also doesn't trust anyone enough to help him/her to experience new things. When a person starts to push away people that want to help him/her, the person will seem to be cruel to other people. Life can be cruel to good people; it just gives him/her another reason to fight to stay positive. After time life will seem better, you just need to take the bad things with the good ones. Many times it will seem like there are more bad times than good, however your friends are there to help you through them. If you turn away the friendships that life provides you, you are turning your back on the best part of life.

When people don't allow friends to be closer to him/her are denying the ability to have stronger friendships. I know from personal experience with that because of that depressed state I was in. I can see now that I could have been a better person if I allowed people to be close to me, however I was stupid enough to push them away. Although I have friends that have been with me from the start, I should have had more than what I have now. When you limit your friends, and how close that he/she was allowed to be close to you, causes unnecessary friction between you and your friends. When I was asked in the past about doing my life over, when I was depressed, I would say that my life was fine the way it was. Now as I look back, my answer is to change the fact I was depressed when I was. To stop a mistake like that from happening could have a better thing to happen to me rather than to just do it the same way again.


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