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Feb-12-04         Feb-12-04         Feb-12-04         Feb-12-04         Feb-12-04        


Time


Time

Everyone thinks about "time" once in a while. Whether the person remembers his/her past or if he/she is thinking about the future, "time" is a consideration of everyone. "Time" can be helpful and just as destructive because every situation is different, and if too much "time" passes "time" could cause damage rather than help. When people ask for "time" it can be difficult for some to allow that "time" to pass.

When a person says that he/she needs some time to sort out things, it can be difficult for others to leave him/her alone for the time required. This is true when the person that is asked to "back-off" is the reasoning behind the request for "time", especially if the person caused a "negative" feeling from the one asking for the "time". I am like that type of person. If I am asked to give another person "time", and it is due to something "negative" that I did, I have great difficulties to "back-off". I am the type of person that wants everyone to like me, and doesn't want to have anyone think anything bad about me at any time. If I caused a person to be uncomfortable/hurt, I have a great need to make the person feel better/comfortable because I just don't want friends to feel uncomfortable/hurt at any time. This tendency has a high chance to do more damage in the process, and has a chance to end a friendship if attempted.

I seem to do things as "the spur of the moment". This ability many people are unable to do because he/she doesn't have the ability to do things without planning for them. I have a form of "care free" attitude about me, and I have had this for quite a while. This "care free" attitude seems to also keep me feeling "young" no matter how much "time" passes by. I have been told by many friends/family members to "grow up" because I am not acting my age. My "care free" attitude is the reason why they feel that I am not acting my age. Most people my age are trying to "settle down" and have a "family" of his/her own. I don't feel that way, so in their eyes I am not acting my age.

I assume that after enough "time" passes by I may change, but it would all depend on the situation for me to change for. In other words, if I feel it is required to change and act my age then I will. If it is other people telling me to act my age, I probably will never do it. Sort of the rebellious part of me that is part of "the spur of moment" ability I have. I will "settle down" when it feels right, however "time" is to tell you when that will happen. I have a "freedom" that many people my age do not have because "time" has restricted his/her "freedom".

With my "free spirit" type of actions, I have had many people talk to me. Some of these people have been flirting, however I have had no need to respond to the flirtations as a person is suppose to. These people still come back because he/she knows that I will listen to him/her, hell nothing better to do at work. The day that I respond to the flirtations will be the day that these people will probably stop coming to talk. One of the good & bad ways about how I think. The good way is that I am willing to talk to anyone and not take advantage of him/her regardless how he/she feels. The bad way is that people can become dependent to talk to me and cross a line that he/she will regret later on. I did something similar with one of my friends.

I feel terrible for what I did, and am unable to try to fix what I did because I have been told to give him/her "time". The "time" that he/she has requested has not been given a certain limit, so I am to stay away from him/her as long as he/she needs. This is one of the hardest things that anyone has asked me to do because I have this need to try to fix the problem, however I know I have a high chance to make things worse. What I did was I invaded his/her personal space, and when I did it I did realize that I did. Where I did realize I did this, I was unable to see that I was doing something wrong. Now there has been a request to give him/her "space" and "time", and I will be obeying the request because the friendship of this friend is too precious to me. I will obey, to the best of my abilities, and give the necessary "space" and "time" that he/she requires forgiving me (if possible) of my actions. The other way to word what I did is that I "stepped in a pile of 'it', didn't know I did, and by the time I realized that I did, the pile was up to my throat".

No matter the "time" required to "heal" the ripple/rift that I put in the friendship, I am willing to "stay away" from this friend until he/she feels differently. I will obey the request and wait for this friend to tell me that I am able to spend some "time" with him/her once again. This is the hardest thing that anyone has ever asked of me, especially where the terms are due to something bad that I did. After enough "time" has passed, I believe (hope) that the friendship can be "healed" between us.

"Time" can be a positive thing and a negative thing, as described above, in my case. The negative thing is that I did something and didn't realize that I did it. Even after a certain amount of "time" passed I didn't see that I did anything wrong. I realized that there was a problem (believing was small) when I was warned that I was "overwhelming" my friend, and I was warned from a family/friend about this. I didn't give enough "time", after the warning, to my friend to be on the good side of him/her. I call this one of the most "short sightiveness" and "stupidest" thing that I have ever done because I was actually "smothering" him/her, without realizing it. The positive side about "time" is that I now know what I was doing, and should be able to avoid doing that again. Also after "time" this friend will allow me to be around him/her once again, but only after he/she believes that he/she can "trust" me once again. Only after enough "time" passes can anyone know how this one turn out. I hope that this friend knows how sorry that I am, and whatever "time" is required I will do as you request.


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