Home · Thoughts · Dates · Policy
There are many that believe that people that are friends do not have to be an alliance, and vice-versa. I have found that alliances do not have to be friends, however friends do have to be an alliance at times. If you have a friend that is not an alliance, you may not agree with that friend on anything.
I have found that when a person doesn't express emotions as well as every expects a person to; all that person really can sense are alliances or loyalties. If you can honestly say that you sense alliances or loyalties to someone or a group, then you can say that they are your friends. The closer that you feel you are to the alliance or loyalty, the closer the friend you have. It is also common to have people judge you according to the way you act around your friends vs. other people, for those whom judge this way are those that aren't sure how to act around you.
An alliance may be formed due to you are in a fight with someone, and someone else decides to help you. This type of alliance may not last long enough to become a friendship, however you will sense a form of loyalty to this person during the fight. This is actually better known as an acutance. This is usually what happens with a situation like this because it is expected that neither person will ever see the other again.
Friends are hard to describe. I have problems myself because I don't express emotions the ways that I am suppose to, I block as many emotions as possible. I find that a friend is a combination of loyalties and alliances. You have some things that are in common with a person, and then you see how close of a loyalty you have for that person. This will show how close a friend this person is. This may seem weird to some how to look at it, however it is actually the same way that everyone looks at a friend. It is the same because I look a person and use loyalties to see how close I am to that person, but most others would see how close they let the person to the emotions (and how their emotions react to the person).
I feel that emotions can cause more harm than good when it comes to friendship. If a friend is to follow their emotions to determine whom their friends are, it could cause misjudgments depending on the situation. You could feel that your friend would support your decision on an argument, and the friend could feel differently about it in which would cause you to fight about it. If a person were to use loyalties as a way to determine their friends, the person would already know how their friend feels about the subject.
Real friends in any case will stay with you through thick and thin. They will help you when they can and torment you at times to have a little fun with you. Tormenting someone (your friend) is only good when they know you are joking. If the tormenting causes the person to react physically or negatively, that means that they didn't know you were joking around. There is always a fine line when someone is tormenting someone else, however if it is a friendly one, the line is further away than what it is when it isn't friendly.
Those that say that they are friends to you and you find them bad mouthing you behind your back are the friends that pretend to be friendly however are more like bullies. They be as nice to as possible when you are around however when you aren't around watch out. This is the type of person that uses emotions against you, however if a person is judged by their loyalties a person that is closer to a bully is more noticeable. You would be able to see how the person's loyalties work, and no matter how good a "con-artist" the person thinks that they are, the loyalties in general will show the truth. Emotions can be faked - many have proven this, however loyalties cannot be faked due to every loyalty is tied in with the ethics of the person. If the person has no ethics (anything goes) I find that it is best to stay away from them no matter what because that type of person can get you in trouble quite easily.
© COPYRIGHT 2004