I stayed with Molochai and Twig for awhile after Zillah's death. We traveled around, as we always had, partying and quenching our thirst where we could. But we talked little.
Every time they looked at me, i felt as if i could see that blame, the same blame that was in Zillah's eyes, in
theirs.
They never said it, though, if they truly did feel that way - in fact, we were all as careful as we could be to not talk of the situation at all.
But with it still weighing on us so heavily, we began to drift apart, first all going out separately at night, and then, leaving for days at a time. I finally left one night, knowing i wouldn't be going back to their hotel room that night. We all knew it. It was something that we had spoken about without words. It was just time to go our separate ways. And so i did.
I do not even remember where all i went over those years. Much of my life after Zillah's death is a foggy blur. I punished myself daily for what happened to him. I went for weeks without eating and denied myself the comfort of a person's blood.
I know that i often wandered around cemeteries, slums, and abandoned sections of any town i was in, numb, looking glazed over, feeling and looking as if i truly were the walking dead.
Then one night, feeling for once like talking to someone, needing some warmth and company, a place to waste some time at, even if just to stop in and get drunk, i came upon the Theatre. I didn't know where i was, what day or even year it was, and i didn't care.
I was shocked to find people who were like me, people who understood. People i didn't need to hide my cravings and desires from - in fact, was even encouraged to indulge and share them.
The day i came into the theatre was the day my life started to become more like living again.
I found comfort amongst the patrons there, though i felt, and still do at times, that some feel i am inferior to them, being only merely born this way, holding none of their special powers, and needing sharpened teeth
and nails and blades to get what they could easily acquire with their delicate fangs.
It was there, in the spring of '99, that i met Nicolette. She was a sweet and gentle girl, someone after my own taste and style, and we had much in common.
A thin and pale raven haired beauty with startling olive green eyes.
At first i found it hard to talk with her - my time of isolation had
made it hard for me to feel comfortable in personal situations.
But after a short while, i was able to open up to her, and told her my whole story. And amazingly, she understood.
We were together always, after that.
We talked of the future, of building a life together, and she even
wished to one day become immortal. Vampires of my type stop aging usually in their mid-twenties. She did not wish to have our time together cut short by the limit of her human lifespan.
One day, bored with daily life and routine, we decided to New Orleans together. I locked up my small apartment that i had acquired not far from the theatre, and we left for New Orleans immediately.
We spent many days there together, sweating in the humid heat, staying inside for most of the day in the bar-top apartment that i was born in, sometimes going out to sit in the St. Louis cemeteries, reading, sight seeing, and then enjoying the exquisite night life of New Orleans.
