MORE
JUVENILE JOKES

The teacher instructed her second graders to come forward as their names were called and be prepared to draw something on the blackboard that had been the cause of excitement in their homes during the previous week. One by one the pupils came forward and sketched such items as report cards, television sets, new clothes, a new baby, and other similar items. When the time came for Emily to comply with the assignment, however, she walked to the board and drew two dots.
"What's that?" the puzzled teacher asked.
"Well," she said, "the other day you told us those dots are called periods."
"That's right," the teacher said. "But what could possibly be exciting about two periods?"
"Beats me," Emily said. "But that's how many my sister in high school says she's missed."

Astern father was taking his little son Johnny for a walk in the park when a honeybee landed on a rock in front of them. The boy stepped forward and crushed the bee with his shoe. The father said, "That was cruel, and for being cruel, you'll get no honey for a whole year."
Later, Johnny deliberately stepped on a butterfly. "Just for that," his father said, "you'll have no butter for a year."
When they returned home, Johnny's mother was fixing dinner. As they walked into the kitchen, she spied a cockroach and immediately crushed it. Johnny looked at his father impishly and asked, "Shall I tell her, Dad, or will you?"

The grade school principal dropped into the third grade teacher's room on the first day of school and asked how things were going.
"One problem, sir," the teacher said. "That little boy in the front row should be in the second grade, but he insists on staying here. He's so smart I hate to send him back."
"He can't be that smart," the principal said. "Ask him some questions."
The teacher called the boy forward and asked, "What does a dog do on three legs that a man does on two legs and I do sitting down?"
"Shakes hands," the boy said.
"What does a cow have four of that I have two of?" she asked.
"Legs," the boy replied.
"What is a four letter word meaning intercourse?" she continued.
"Talk," the boy replied.
The teacher turned to the principal. "Well, what should I do?"
He drew her aside and whispered, "You better promote him to the fourth grade. Even I missed all three questions."

When six-year-old Johnny saw his father on top of his mother, he cried, "Don't hurt her, Dad!"
His mother panted, "Don't worry. Your?father's not?hurting me?He's just?planting?your little sister."
Johnny yelled, "Wow!" and ran off.
But the next night when his father came home form work, he found Johnny sitting on the front steps, sobbing. "What's wrong, son?" his father asked.
Johnny looked up at him with damp eyes. "It's my baby sister. The one you planted in Mommy."
"What about her?"
"Today the milkman came and gobbled her up!"

Two little boys were arguing...
"My father is better than your father!"
"No, he's not!"
"My brother's better than your brother!"
"No, he's not!"
"My mother's better than your mother!"
The second boy paused. "Well, I guess you've got me there. My father says the same thing."

Back to Jokes