Found Jesus?  I didn't know he was lost.  Try under the sofa.

Frisbeetarianism: The belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck

Rise up witches, throw off your masks
And cease crying guilt for ancient crimes;
Earth and all her children need us,
For all now face the burning times.

Vodka is the punishment of God; beer is the great flood

I spoke to God this morning, and he don't like you.

Love you?  I don't even like you.

Pollytheism: The belief that God is a parrot

“Where do we go from here?
This isn't where we intended to be
We had it all, you believed in me
I believed in you

Certainties disappear
What do we do for our dream to survive?
How do we keep all our passions alive,
As we used to do…

Deep in my heart I'm concealing
Things that I'm longing to say
Scared to confess what I'm feeling
Frightened you'll slip away…

Why are you at my side?
How can I be any use to you now?
Give me a chance and I'll let you see how
Nothing has changed…”

~~~Evita~~~

“…I don't expect my love affairs to last for long
Never fool myself that my dreams will come true
Being used to trouble I anticipate it
But all the same I hate it, wouldn't you?

Time and time again I've said that I don't care
That I'm immune to gloom, that I'm hard through and through
But every time it matters all my words desert me
So anyone can hurt me, and they do

Call in three months time and I'll be fine, I know
Well maybe not that fine, but I'll survive anyhow
I won't recall the names and places of each sad occasion
But that's no consolation here and now…”

~~Evita~~

“I'm not talking of a hurried night
A frantic tumble then a shy goodbye
Creeping home before it gets too light
That's not the reason that I caught your eye
Which has to imply, I'd be good for you
I'd be surprisingly good for you…”

~~Evita~~

"Better to win by admitting my sin, than to lose with a halo"

“So go, if you're able, to somewhere unstable…And stay there
Whip up your hate in some tottering state…But not here, dear
Is that clear, dear?”

"Anything worth fighting for is worth fighting dirty for. "

"A thing is not necessarily true because a man dies for it." - Oscar Wilde

"Get busy living, or get busy dying. Fear can hold you prisoner, hope can set you free."

~~The Shawshank Redemption~~

"Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination."    - Oscar Wilde

"Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society."     - Mark Twain

"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.  Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."     -  Groucho Marx

"I had a lovely evening. Unfortunately, this wasn't it."  - Groucho Marx

"Park the car and come kiss your child the sex gargoyle hello."---Bloom County

"Half-naked exploding porpoises!!!!"---Bloom County

"Or is all just a bunch of hooey?"---Bloom County

"He was different...at the end I mean...your spell, Will, it worked.  He had his soul back.  But...it was too late.
The gate was already open and I had to close it...so, I told him I loved him...and I kissed him...and I killed him."
---Buffy to Giles and Willow about the death of Angel/Angelus

"I feel complete,
I breathe you in.
It's where you end and I begin
If only I could stay here ... forever.
So much to tell you,
So much to show you,
So much to confide.
Now that I'm inside you..." Stabbing Westward

"If there's a prize for rotten judgement, I  guess I've already won that...
no man is worth the aggravation,  that's ancient history, Been there, done that....
No chance, no way, I won't say it, no no...It's too cliche, I won't say I'm in love...
I thought my heart had learned its lesson, It feels so good when you start out.
My head is screaming get a grip girl, unless you're dying to cry your heart out...
This scene won't play, I won't say I'm in love..."
 

~~Megeara from Hercules

And I'd give up forever to touch you
Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now --- Goo Goo Dolls

It is impossible to love and to be wise.
-Francis Bacon

It is love, not reason, that is stronger than death.
-Thomas Mann

I’d rather have a moment of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special

Love seeketh not Itself to please,
Nor for itself hath any care,
But for another gives it ease,
And builds a Heaven in Hell's despair.
-William Blake

Spike: You're not friends. You'll never be friends. You'll be in love til it kills you both.
You'll fight, and you'll shag, and you'll hate each other til it makes you quiver, but you'll never be friends.
Love isn't brains, children. It's blood. Blood screaming inside you to work it's will.
I may be love's bitch, but at least I'm man enough to admit it.

"Courage is walking naked through a cannibal village."
  - Leonard Louis Levinson

"A halo has to fall only a few inches to become a noose."--- Farmers Almanac

"After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one."
    - Cato the Elder (234-149 BC, AKA Marcus Porcius Cato)

"Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest."
    - Mark Twain (1835-1910)

"And so she will be a queen of darkness, and call the dark night her home and her soul will reside in the shadows..."--Wyldcard talking about his wife, Mylia

"Are you gonna do something, or are you just gonna stand there and bleed?"
    -Tombstone

"Courage is a quality so necessary for maintaining virtue that it is
always respected, even when it is associated with vice."
- Samuel Johnson (1709-1784)

"Do not fear death so much but rather the inadequate life."      - Bertolt Brecht

"Dreams walk quicker by moonlight"---Charles De Lint

"Few things are harder to put up with than a good example."
    - Mark Twain (1835-1910)

"From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter.
Some day I intend reading it."
    - Groucho Marx (1895-1977)

"He who hesitates is a damned fool."
    - Mae West (1892-1980)

"I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it."
    - Steven Wright

Angel: A hundred years, just hanging out, feeling guilty. It really honed my brooding skills. Then she comes along.

Buffy: Well, I've got a news flash for you brain-trust. That's not how it works. You die and a demon sets up shop in
    your old house and it walks and it talks and it remembers your life, but it's not you.

Buffy: I'm rash and impulsive, it's a flaw.

Buffy: It's just like the more I know, the more confused I get.
    Giles: I believe that's called growing up.
    Buffy: I'd like to stop then, okay?

Spike: You've got 30 seconds to convince me not to kill you.

Spike: I've known you for 2 minutes and I can't stand you. I don't really feature you living forever. Can I eat him
    now love?

Xander: You have too many thoughts.

"I haven't failed. I've found 10,000 ways that don't work." ---Thomas A. Edison

"I'd love to help you out.  Which way did you come in?"  -- Groucho Marx

"If I were human, I believe the correct response would be 'Go to Hell'" -- Spock's response to a Starfleet summons
(Star Trek VI)

"If you can't take a little bloody nose, maybe you oughtta go back home and crawl under your bed. It's not safe out here.
It's wondrous, with treasures to satiate desires both subtle and gross; but it's not for the timid." -- Q (Q Who?)

"If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you poison us, do we not die?
And if you wrong us, shall we not revenge?" - William Shakespeare

"It is better to die bravely for a good cause than to live long in cowardice"
   Nicole Marie Sanchez

"Jim, you don't go around asking the Almighty for his I.D.!" -- McCoy (Star Trek V)

"Kiss me or kill me...take your pick."

Make it foolproof and someone will build a better fool.

"Let's see...fire, explosions, and an unearthly creature, conjured from the grave.  Hey!  My friends are here!"

"Love sees with the heart and not the mind; therefore, winged cupid is painted blind."

"Love has reasons that reason itself knows nothing of"

"Me? I'm scared of everything!  But most of all, I'm scared of walking out of here and never feeling again in my whole
life, the way I feel when I'm with you..." ---Dirty Dancing

"Mylia, I think you and I would have made great commandos in another life.
Hope for the best, brace for the worst." --- Adam
"What makes you think we weren't?" ---Mylia

"One man with courage makes a majority."
- Andrew Jackson (1767-1845)

"One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important."
    - Bertrand Russell (1872-1970)

"Pan ...dead?  *You* may not hear his pipes, but *I* do." --- Thomas Burnett Swann

"The gods too are fond of a joke."
    - Aristotle (384-322 B.C.)

"The wolves have already begun to call me and its doesn't
matter if they're still far away: as soon as they get close I know
I will follow them." --Jack London, The Call of the Wild

"There is always one more imbecile than you counted on."

"You're nuts.  You should be dipped in chocolate and served as a snack item." ---The Birdcage

A suicide kills two people . . . that's what it's for.
 ~ ~ Arthur Miller "After the Fall"

A true friend walks in when the world walks out.

Angel: Dear Buffy- I'm still trying to decide the best way to send my regards.
Spike: Why don't you rip her lungs out? That might make an impression.
Angel: Lacks poetry.
Spike: Doesn't have to. What rhymes with lungs?

Answers: $1, Short: $5, Correct: $25, dumb looks are still free.

Be careful of your thoughts, they may become words at any moment

Better to die a thousand deaths than wound my honor.
~ ~ Joseph Addison

Harry: "A man can never be friends with a woman he finds attractive, he always wants to have sex with her."
Sally: "That's not true! I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved."
Harry: "No, you don't"
Sally: "Yes, I do."
Harry: "No, you don't"
Sally: "You're saying I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?"
Harry: "No, I'm saying they all want to have sex with you."
Sally: "Well, what if they don't want to have sex with you?"
Harry: "It doesn't matter because the sex part is already out there, so the friendship is ultimately doomed,
and that is the end of the story."
Sally: "So a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?"
Harry: "No, you pretty much want to nail them, too"
    -When Harry Met Sally

I live now on borrowed time, waiting in the anteroom for the summons that will inevitably come. And then -
I go on to the next thing, whatever it is. One doesn't luckily have to bother about that.
                          ~ ~ Agatha Christie

1) I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
2) A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
3) What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?          W.C. Fields

If Jesus Christ came back today and saw what was being done in his name, he'd never
stop throwing up. -Hannah and Her Sisters

It is with true love as it is with ghosts;
everyone talks about it, but few have seen it.
-La Rochefoucauld

Listen, you know I love you, but I just can't take this,
You know I love you, but I'm playing for keeps,
Although I need you, I'm not gonna make this,
You know I want to, but I'm in too deep.
~~Phil Collins~~

Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience.

Our plans miscarry because they have no aim.  When a man does not know what harbor he is making for,
no wind is the right wind.   - Seneca

Some people wish to get what they deserve, while others fear the same.

Spike: I want to save the world.
Buffy: Okay, you do remember you're a vampire, right?
Spike: We like to talk big, vampires do. I'm going to destroy the world,
it's just tough guy talk. Strutting around with your friends over a pint of
blood. The truth is I like this world. You've got dog racing, Manchester
United, and you got people. Billions of people walking around like happy
meals with legs.

The greatest trick the devil ever played was convincing the world he didn't exist. -The Usual Suspects

The issue isn't whether you're paranoid,
It's whether you're paranoid enough. -Strange Days

This shattered dream you cannot justify
We're gonna scream until we're satisified
What are we running for?
We've got the right to be angry
What are we running for?
When there's no where we can run to anymore

~Pat Benatar~

When authorities warn you of the sinfulness of sex, there is an important lesson to be learned.
Do not have sex with the authorities.
-- From "Basic Sex Facts For Today's Youngfolk"

When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle them gently

Xander: And they say that young people don't learn anything in high school nowadays, but I've learned to be afraid.

~Bottom line is, even if you seem 'em coming, you're not ready for the big moments. No one asks for their life to
change,not really, but it does. So what, are we helpless? Puppets? No. The big moment's gonna come.
You can't help that. It's what you do afterwards that counts. That's when you find out who you are.~-
--Whistler "Buffy the Vampire Slayer"

“Death is a very dull, dreary affair, and my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.”
--- William Somerset Maugham

“Excess on occasion is exhilarating. It prevents moderation from acquiring the deadening effect of a habit.”
--- W. Somerset Maugham

“The unfortunate thing about this world is that the good habits are much easier to give up than the bad ones.”
-- W. Somerset Maugham