Radical Solutions for Transforming Problems into Happiness
From the Rear cover -
Lama Zopa Rinpoche is a master at explaining Buddhism's radical but effective methods for
transforming suffering into happiness, which have been practiced and taught by Tibetans for
a thousand years. It's a challenging way to think - how can it be that the things that cause us
pain are actually blessings?
In Dear Lama Zopa, Rinpoche applies that challenge to our everyday, real-life problems
- from the littlest to the biggest. Every year he recieves thousands of letters from people
around the world asking for advice - on coping with everything from addiction, grief and
depression to war, terrorism and death.
In his detailed and deeply caring responses to these letters, reproduced here, Rinpoche shows
again and again that the best method for solving our problems is to radically change the way
we perceive them; that by emphasising their inner causes we can even change the resluting
outer circumstances.
Even people familiar with notions like karma and reincarnation, which imply that we are the
creators of our own experiences, may find the advice difficult. Yet uncountable thousands of
people of all backgrounds have put Rinpoche's loving guidance into practice - and have seen
real and positive change in their lives.
Now, with Dear Lama Zopa, you can see for yourself.
Parents are the main educators
Dear Lama Zopa,
My wife and I are blessed with two wonderful children, but I am worried about how best to
raise them. I am a Buddhist practitioner, but far from a buddha! How should we educate them in
the home? What is the best way to encourage them to lead positive and happy lives? Should we
use discipline of only gentleness? These are hard choices, especially when our love for them is
admittedly polluted by attachment.
Your advice will be greatly appreciated.
Your student,
Jim, Chicago
Dear Jim,
Educating children is extremely important. There are two places where children should be
educated: at school and at home.
They should be educated in having a good heart, tolerance, compassion and being kind to others.
These are the basic good qualities of the human mind, so parents have a big responsibility.
Without this education, it is like giving birth to suffering. The children will have a life full
of suffering, and they will also give much suffering to their parents and other people. They
will cause other sentient beings many problems with their untamed minds, without a good heart
and a sense of universal responsibility.
Think: "If I want my children to be kind to me, I have to teach them to have a good heart."
If children have tolerance and compassion for other beings, other beings will love them and
help them. Having a good heart will make them happy, and then they will have more space in their
minds to be kind to others, and this will make others happy.
Parents are a stronger influence than school because children spend more time with them, and the
way of teaching is by example. In school, you learn by the head and not the heart. What is
needed is an education for parents and children alike in having a good heart.
Love and prayers,
Lama Zopa
Growing Up Too Fast
Dear Lama Zopa,
I have a sixteen-year old daughter, and I am worried about our relationship and the direction
she is headed in. She seems to be growing up way too fast, which causes me great concern; she
stays out late, runs with an older crowd, and I think she isn't always truthful with me about
what she is doing. I have tried setting limits on her behaviour, but she breaks the rules. I
have tried being gentle, but then she walks all over me. I have tried yelling, but then she
completely shuts down.
How do I correct her direction? I am terrifed that she is going to do something she'll regret
for the rest of her life, but I seem to have lost control over her. What can I do?
Love and thanks,
Emma, Darwin
Dear Emma,
Raising children in a society full of negative influences, where bad friends are many and good
friends - disciplined, compassionate friends - are few, is not easy. Just like tsatsa molds,
our friends are like molds for us.
Western culture is filled with so much desire. It is not like so-called less-developed places.
In the West, advertisements are all about desire and what to do to best satisfy our desire;
for instance, food commercials make us want to eat. Such messages in our environment can have
a powerful effect on us. And all these things - bad friends, the culture, conditions at school
- make teenagers uneasy.
Teach your child never to forget about karma.
Every day, pray to Medicine Buddha that your child will grow up with all the qualities of the
buddhas - of Tara and of Chenrezig - with the best attributes.
The prayers of people who share a home have great power for each other.
If you just pray for a healthy life for your daughter and for other things like that, then you
are just focusing on the benefits of this life. That is no good. Pray instead that she may
develop all the best inner qualities, and can then be free from suffering and can help all
sentient beings.
With much love and prayers,
Lama Zopa
May tap out more ... but reading off a computer screen can't compare with sittin in a nice,
comfy chair with a hard copy in your hot, little hands :)
Some Links -
Search for the book online
The publisher can also be found on the web
Another of his books is called How to be happy
The Lama Yeshe Wisdom Archive features many teachers - including Lama Zopa
General search 4 the Lama's advice
Transforming Problems into Happiness
Buddhism as the road 2 happiness
Lama Zopa on how 2 counteract atttachment
Fabulous Buddhist site - loads of categories!
Another page at that site
- points out the VAST difference between attachment & real love which is unconditional
& unbiased
On that theme of unconditional love
Dalai Lama's advice on cherishing everyone you meet
Lama Zopa recommends chanting the mantra of compassion regularly
Buddhism says a lot about karma & reincarnation
Buddhism has many teachings on love & compassion
Search this collection for such words as love or mind or whatever
This page has some good advice on training our restless minds
These excerpts have more Buddhist wisdom
This forum has some wise heads posting answers to questions
Lama Zopa recommended the lamrim prayer for a prisoner on death row - to make his life worthwhile
This being the first 2 catch my eye
That site also has a section on dealing with emotions
Prayers 4 those experiencing depression
Meditating on the Medicine Buddha is recommended for those with illness or approaching death
This mantra is good for healing - tosses up quite a few sites!
More advice for the dying
Another huge Buddhist site with loads of articles
Plum Village is another excellent site with some mindfulness trainings
Shambhala Sun - could search 4 Thich or Salzberg or Pema Chodron or happiness etc etc :)
Interesting search for his advice 2 George Bush following Sep 11
Lama Zopa also recommends practicing Bodhicitta
Any suffering or problem or difficulty we may be experiencing in this life is due 2 karma from countless previous lives
Leads us 2 this intro 2 Buddhism
Indulging in anger can generate a LOT of negative karma
The karma involved in going 2 war
But if we rejoice, for example, when
we hear that one thousand people were
killed or hurt, we receive the same heavy karma as if we ourselves had killed
one thousand people
Think the following: "By being in prison
I have an incredible opportunity. It has helped me to awaken my mind, to analyse myself, and
to think about my own life"
The Sutra of Golden Light is recommended as one of Buddha's
most precious holy teachings (for protection)
Fabulous meditation - all about being peaceful
Lama Zopa's advice for looking at depression & karma
Yes, there are a couple of letters about dealing with depression - if I get around 2 it, I might type them up - or you could buy the book :)
It can be useful 2 remind ourselves that we ALL have buddha nature
With practice it is possible to have compassion 4 all beings - even those who may seem 2 be our "enemies"
The real prison is samsara - could do that search without Zopa
The book has this lengthy letter written to one inmate
Fabulous page about compassion - saved!
Buddhist blog - also a guide 2 other sites of interest
How 2 benefit the dying and the dead - looks a big site
Also check out their links page
Huge list of articles about meditation
Includes this one by Lama Zopa
Another perspective on depression
Bruce Moen's site is well worth a visit - yet 2 read his books ...
How 2 heal the world - from Owen