Dear Lama Zopa
Dear Lama Zopa

Radical Solutions for Transforming Problems into Happiness

From the Rear cover -

Lama Zopa Rinpoche is a master at explaining Buddhism's radical but effective methods for transforming suffering into happiness, which have been practiced and taught by Tibetans for a thousand years. It's a challenging way to think - how can it be that the things that cause us pain are actually blessings?

In Dear Lama Zopa, Rinpoche applies that challenge to our everyday, real-life problems - from the littlest to the biggest. Every year he recieves thousands of letters from people around the world asking for advice - on coping with everything from addiction, grief and depression to war, terrorism and death.

In his detailed and deeply caring responses to these letters, reproduced here, Rinpoche shows again and again that the best method for solving our problems is to radically change the way we perceive them; that by emphasising their inner causes we can even change the resluting outer circumstances.

Even people familiar with notions like karma and reincarnation, which imply that we are the creators of our own experiences, may find the advice difficult. Yet uncountable thousands of people of all backgrounds have put Rinpoche's loving guidance into practice - and have seen real and positive change in their lives.

Now, with Dear Lama Zopa, you can see for yourself.

Parents are the main educators

Dear Lama Zopa,

My wife and I are blessed with two wonderful children, but I am worried about how best to raise them. I am a Buddhist practitioner, but far from a buddha! How should we educate them in the home? What is the best way to encourage them to lead positive and happy lives? Should we use discipline of only gentleness? These are hard choices, especially when our love for them is admittedly polluted by attachment.

Your advice will be greatly appreciated.

Your student,

Jim, Chicago

Dear Jim,

Educating children is extremely important. There are two places where children should be educated: at school and at home.

They should be educated in having a good heart, tolerance, compassion and being kind to others. These are the basic good qualities of the human mind, so parents have a big responsibility.

Without this education, it is like giving birth to suffering. The children will have a life full of suffering, and they will also give much suffering to their parents and other people. They will cause other sentient beings many problems with their untamed minds, without a good heart and a sense of universal responsibility.

Think: "If I want my children to be kind to me, I have to teach them to have a good heart."

If children have tolerance and compassion for other beings, other beings will love them and help them. Having a good heart will make them happy, and then they will have more space in their minds to be kind to others, and this will make others happy.

Parents are a stronger influence than school because children spend more time with them, and the way of teaching is by example. In school, you learn by the head and not the heart. What is needed is an education for parents and children alike in having a good heart.

Love and prayers,

Lama Zopa

Growing Up Too Fast

Dear Lama Zopa,

I have a sixteen-year old daughter, and I am worried about our relationship and the direction she is headed in. She seems to be growing up way too fast, which causes me great concern; she stays out late, runs with an older crowd, and I think she isn't always truthful with me about what she is doing. I have tried setting limits on her behaviour, but she breaks the rules. I have tried being gentle, but then she walks all over me. I have tried yelling, but then she completely shuts down.

How do I correct her direction? I am terrifed that she is going to do something she'll regret for the rest of her life, but I seem to have lost control over her. What can I do?

Love and thanks,

Emma, Darwin

Dear Emma,

Raising children in a society full of negative influences, where bad friends are many and good friends - disciplined, compassionate friends - are few, is not easy. Just like tsatsa molds, our friends are like molds for us.

Western culture is filled with so much desire. It is not like so-called less-developed places. In the West, advertisements are all about desire and what to do to best satisfy our desire; for instance, food commercials make us want to eat. Such messages in our environment can have a powerful effect on us. And all these things - bad friends, the culture, conditions at school - make teenagers uneasy.

Teach your child never to forget about karma.

Every day, pray to Medicine Buddha that your child will grow up with all the qualities of the buddhas - of Tara and of Chenrezig - with the best attributes.

The prayers of people who share a home have great power for each other.

If you just pray for a healthy life for your daughter and for other things like that, then you are just focusing on the benefits of this life. That is no good. Pray instead that she may develop all the best inner qualities, and can then be free from suffering and can help all sentient beings.

With much love and prayers,

Lama Zopa

May tap out more ... but reading off a computer screen can't compare with sittin in a nice, comfy chair with a hard copy in your hot, little hands :)

Some Links -

Search for the book online

Some satisfied customers

The publisher can also be found on the web

Another of his books is called How to be happy

The Lama Yeshe Wisdom Archive features many teachers - including Lama Zopa

The importance of compassion

General search 4 the Lama's advice

Transforming Problems into Happiness

Buddhism as the road 2 happiness

Lama Zopa on how 2 counteract atttachment

Try it without Lama's name

Fabulous Buddhist site - loads of categories!

Another page at that site - points out the VAST difference between attachment & real love which is unconditional & unbiased

On that theme of unconditional love

Lama zopa on forgiveness

Dalai Lama's advice on cherishing everyone you meet

Lama Zopa recommends chanting the mantra of compassion regularly

Buddhism says a lot about karma & reincarnation

Buddhism has many teachings on love & compassion

Search this collection for such words as love or mind or whatever

May all beings be happy

This page has some good advice on training our restless minds

These excerpts have more Buddhist wisdom

This forum has some wise heads posting answers to questions

More on training the mind

Best Buddhist sites

Leads us here

Lama Zopa recommended the lamrim prayer for a prisoner on death row - to make his life worthwhile

This being the first 2 catch my eye

That site also has a section on dealing with emotions

Prayers 4 those experiencing depression

Meditating on the Medicine Buddha is recommended for those with illness or approaching death

This mantra is good for healing - tosses up quite a few sites!

More advice for the dying

Another huge Buddhist site with loads of articles

Plum Village is another excellent site with some mindfulness trainings

Shambhala Sun - could search 4 Thich or Salzberg or Pema Chodron or happiness etc etc :)

Interesting search for his advice 2 George Bush following Sep 11

Lama Zopa also recommends practicing Bodhicitta

Any suffering or problem or difficulty we may be experiencing in this life is due 2 karma from countless previous lives

Variation on that theme

Leads us 2 this intro 2 Buddhism

Indulging in anger can generate a LOT of negative karma

The karma involved in going 2 war

But if we rejoice, for example, when we hear that one thousand people were killed or hurt, we receive the same heavy karma as if we ourselves had killed one thousand people

Think the following: "By being in prison I have an incredible opportunity. It has helped me to awaken my mind, to analyse myself, and to think about my own life"

The Sutra of Golden Light is recommended as one of Buddha's most precious holy teachings (for protection)

Fabulous meditation - all about being peaceful

Lama Zopa's advice for looking at depression & karma

Yes, there are a couple of letters about dealing with depression - if I get around 2 it, I might type them up - or you could buy the book :)

It can be useful 2 remind ourselves that we ALL have buddha nature

Another page on that theme

With practice it is possible to have compassion 4 all beings - even those who may seem 2 be our "enemies"

The real prison is samsara - could do that search without Zopa

The book has this lengthy letter written to one inmate

Fabulous page about compassion - saved!

Buddhist blog - also a guide 2 other sites of interest

Advice on collecting merit

How 2 benefit the dying and the dead - looks a big site

Also check out their links page

Huge list of articles about meditation

Includes this one by Lama Zopa

Another perspective on depression

Bruce Moen's site is well worth a visit - yet 2 read his books ...

How 2 heal the world - from Owen

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