OK.  I will attempt to pretend to be a lawyer for a few minutes...
Here we go...

ALL of my suggestions are simply MY opinion.
I am NOT a doctor.
I do NOT have a degree
I do NOT have a diploma
I do NOT have a certificate
I do NOT even have a pack of crayons with which to DRAW a fake certificate/diploma/degree so that I can show it to all my  friends so that they can laugh at me so hard that they will fall down and sprain their ankles and then they will start yelling at me and probably demand to know why I didn't warn them that I could be so dangerously funny.

I AM NOT responsible for any harm that will come to you before, during and after you read this page, the page before it, the page this page links to (My Healthy Tips page) or for any other pages I wish to "terrorize" humanity with.

If, before, during and/or after you read this page, you develop:

A. hiccups
B. a headache
C. a tiny/not so tiny/large/huge orange-shaped scar on any part of your/your boyfriends'/your pets'/ body or anyone  you know
D. a second left eye

I WILL NOT BE HELD RESPONSIBLE
I CANNOT BE HELD RESPONSIBLE

You read my pages at your own risk and if you choose to read my pages, then you waive all legal rights you might have/think you have and you cannot:

A. sue me
B. hate me
C. arrest me
D. try to arrest me
E  think about trying to arrest me
F.  jump up and down on any of your feet
G. stop me from doing ANYTHING
H. hold me or the owners/managers of the internet site that these pages temporarily reside upon responsible
I.  sue me or the owners/managers of the internet site that these pages temporarily reside upon
J.  sue my parents and/or anyone I know or don't know
K. hate my parents and/or anyone I know or don't know
 

Dost thou accept these terms?
 

 
 Yes!