--Adjust the tint on your tv so that all the people are green, and insist to
    others that you "like it that way".
--Drum on every available surface.
--Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
--Staple papers in the middle of the page.
--Ask 800 operators for dates.
--Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copy warnings.
--Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks.
--Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.
--Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
--Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".
--Set alarms for random times.
--Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting
    entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeeep Bip..."
--Buy large quantities of mint dental floss just to lick the flavor off.
--Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.
--Leave your Nine Inch Nails tape in Great Uncle Ed's stereo, with the
    volume properly adjusted.
--Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.
--Honk and wave to strangers.
--Dress only in clothes colored Hunter's Orange.
--Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
--Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental
    movies.
--Wear your pants backwards.
--Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complementary
    mints by the cash register.
--Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"
--Rouse your roommates from slumber each morning with Lou Reed's "Metal
    Machine Music".
--Leave someones printer in compressed-italic-cyrillic-landscape mode. 
--ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
--only type in lowercase.
--dont use any punctuation either
--Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
--Pay for your dinner with pennies.
--Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.
--Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
--Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.
--Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assasination/UFO/ OJ
    Simpson conspiracy theories.
--Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?"
    "What?" 
    "Never mind, it's gone now."
--Light road flares on a birthday cake.
--Wander around the restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
--Leave tips in Bolivian currency.
--Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador".
--Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
--At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
--When Christmas carolling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until
    physically restrained.
--Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One".
--As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
--Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.
--Finish the 99 bottles of beer song.
--Sing the "This is the song that never ends..." song. (Ya know Lamb Chops?)
--Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
--Pretend your mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.
--Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your
    chin.
    When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up", and repeat.
--Drive half a block.
--Name your dog "Dog".
--Inform others that they exist only in your imagination. 
--Ask people what gender they are.
--Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
--Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back in
    the tray.
--Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern Drawl.
--Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a
    "real hoot".
--Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you
    don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes".
--Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a
    can of Lysol.
--Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers' brains, such
    as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies' "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song.
--While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
--Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
--Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
--Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.
--Change your name to John Aaaaasmith for the great glory of being first in
    the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people 
    pronounce each A.
--Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if
    they slow down.
--Chew on pens that you've borrowed.
--Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play
    along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
--Wear a LOT of cologne.
--Ask to "interface" with someone.
--Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is
    necessary because of your "superior mental processing".
--Sing along at the opera.
--Mow your lawn with scissors.
--At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batatatatatata-suhWING-batter!"
--Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy".
--Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend".
--Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
--Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and scribble their answers in a
    notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles".
--Incessantly recite annoying phrases, such as "sticky wicket isn't cricket."
--Stare at static on the tv and claim you can see a "magic picture".
--Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.
--Scuff your feet on a dry, shaggy carpet and seek out victims.
--Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward
    silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.
--Never make eye contact.
--Never break eye contact.
--Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
--Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.
--Construct your own pretend "tricorder", and "scan" people with it,
    announcing the results.
--Give a play-by-play account of a person's every action in a nasal Howard
    Cossell voice.
--Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
--Make appointments for the 31st of September.
--Invite lots of people to other people's parties.
--Send fifty copies of this list to everyone you know.

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