If you introduce your wife as "[email protected]" 

If your family sends you an e-mail instead of calling you to dinner 

If you can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie 

If you want an 8X CDROM for Christmas 

If Dilbert is your hero 

If you stare at an orange juice container because it says CONCENTRATE 

If you can name 6 Star Trek episodes 

If the only jokes you receive are through e-mail 

If your wrist watch has more computing power than a 486DX-50 

If your idea of good interpersonal communication means getting the 
decimal point in the right place 

If you look forward to Christmas only to put together the kids' toys 

If you use a CAD package to design your son's Pine Wood Derby car 

If you have used coat hangers and duct tape for something other than 
hanging coats and taping ducts 

If, at Christmas, it goes without saying that you will be the one to 
find the burnt-out bulb in the string 

If you window shop at Radio Shack 

If your ideal evening consists of fast-forwarding through the latest 
sci-fi movie looking for technical inaccuracies 

If you have "Dilbert" comics displayed anywhere in your work area 

If you carry on a one-hour debate over the expected results of a test 
that actually takes five minutes to run 

If you are convinced you can build a phazer out of your garage door 
opener and your camera's flash attachment 

If you don't even know where the cover to your personal computer is 

If you have modified your can-opener to be microprocessor driven 

If you know the direction the water swirls when you flush 

If you own "Official Star Trek" anything 

If you have ever taken the back off your TV just to see what's inside 

If a team of you and your co-workers have set out to modify the antenna 
on the radio in your work area for better reception 

If you ever burned down the gymnasium with your Science Fair project 

If you are currently gathering the components to build your own nuclear 
reactor 

If you own one or more white short-sleeve dress shirts 

If you have never backed-up your hard drive 

If you are aware that computers are actually only good for playing 
games, but are afraid to say it out loud 

If you truly believe aliens are living among us 

If you have ever saved the power cord from a broken appliance 

If you have ever purchased an electronic appliance "as-is" 

If you see a good design and still have to change it 

If the salespeople at Circuit City can't answer any of your questions 

If you still own a slide rule and you know how to work it 

If the thought that a CD could refer to finance or music never enters 
your mind 

If you own a set of itty-bitty screw drivers, but you don't remember 
where they are 

If you rotate your screen savers more frequently than your automobile 
tires 

If you have a functioning home copier machine, but every toaster you own 
turns bread into charcoal 

If you have more toys than your kids 

If you need a checklist to turn on the TV 

If you have introduced your kids by the wrong name 

If you have a habit of destroying things in order to see how they work 

If your I.Q. number is bigger than your weight 

If the microphone or visual aids at a meeting don't work and you rush up 
to the front to fix it 

If you can remember 7 computer passwords but not your birthday 

If you have memorized the program schedule for the Discovery channel and 
have seen most of the shows already 

If you have ever owned a calculator with no equal key and know what RPN 
stands for 

If your father sat 2 inches in front of your family's first color TV 
with a magnifying lens to see how they made the colors, and you grew up 
thinking that was normal 

If you know how to take the cover off of your computer, and what size 
screw driver to use 

If you can type 70 words a minute but can't read your own handwriting 

If people groan at the party when you pick out the music 

If you can't remember where you parked your car for the 3rd time this 
week 

If you did the sound system for your senior prom 

If your checkbook always balances 

If your wristwatch has more buttons than a telephone 

If you have more friends on the Internet than in real life 

If you thought the real heroes of "Apollo 13" were the mission 
controllers 

If you think that when people around you yawn, it's because they didn't 
get enough sleep 

If you spend more on your home computer than your car 

If you know what http:/ stands for 

If you've ever tried to repair a $5.00 radio 

If you have a neatly sorted collection of old bolts and nuts in your 
garage 

If a three-year old  asks why the sky is blue and you try to 
explain atmospheric absorption theory 

If your lap-top computer costs more than your car 

If your 4 basic food groups are: 1. Caffeine 2. Fat 3. Sugar  4. 
Chocolate