Only in America

Only in America . . . can a pizza get to your house
faster than an ambulance.

Only in America . . . are there handicap parking places
in front of a skating rink.

Only in America . . . do people order double cheese
burgers, a large fry, and a diet coke.

Only in America . . . do banks leave both doors open
and then chain the pens to the counters.

Only in America . . . do we leave cars worth thousands
of dollars in the driveway and leave useless things and
junk in boxes in the garage.

Only in America . . . do we use answering machines to
screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss
a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first
place.

Only in America . . . do we buy hot dogs in packages of
ten and buns in packages of eight.

Only in America . . . do we use the word "politics" to
describe the process so well: "Poli" in latin meaning
"many" and "tics" meaning "blood-sucking creatures".