Why Must Tech Support be Subjected to This?

A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her 
printer. The tech asked her if she was "running it under 
Windows." The woman then responded, "No, my desk is next to the 
door. But that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle 
next to me is under a window, and his is working fine." 
---- 

Tech Support: "OK Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at 
the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of 
the screen. Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program 
Manager." 
Customer: "I don't have a 'P'." 
Tech Support: "On your keyboard, Bob." 
Customer: "What do you mean?" 
Tech Support: "'P' on your keyboard, Bob." 
Customer: "I'm not going to do that!" 
---- 

Overheard in a computer shop: 
Customer: "I'd like a mouse mat, please." 
Salesperson: "Certainly sir, we've got a large variety." 
Customer: "But will they be compatible with my computer?" 
---- 

I once received a fax with a note on the bottom to fax the 
document back to the sender when I was finished with it, because 
he needed to keep it. 
---- 

Customer: "Can you copy the Internet for me on this diskette?" 
---- 

I work for a local ISP. Frequently we receive phone calls that 
start something like this: 
Customer: "Hi. Is this the Internet?" 
---- 

Some people pay for their online services with checks made 
payable to "The Internet." 
---- 

Customer: "So that'll get me connected to the Internet, right?" 
Tech Support: "Yeah." 
Customer: "And that's the latest version of the Internet, right?" 
Tech Support: "Uhh...uh...uh...yeah." 
---- 

Tech Support: "All right...now double-click on the File Manager 
icon." 
Customer: "That's why I hate this Windows -- because of the icons 
-- I'm a Protestant, and I don't believe in icons." 
Tech Support: "Well, that's just an industry term sir. I don't 
believe it was meant to --" 
Customer: "I don't care about any 'Industry Terms'. I don't 
believe in icons." 
Tech Support: "Well...why don't you click on the 'little picture' 
of a file cabinet...is 'little picture' OK?" 
Customer: [click] 
---- 

Customer: "My computer crashed!" 
Tech Support: "It crashed?" 
Customer: "Yeah, it won't let me play my game." 
Tech Support: "All right, hit Control-Alt-Delete to reboot." 
Customer: "No, it didn't crash -- it crashed." 
Tech Support: "Huh?" 
Customer: "I crashed my game. That's what I said before. I 
crashed my spaceship and now it doesn't work." 
Tech Support: "Click on 'File,' then 'New Game.'" 
Customer: [pause] "Wow! How'd you learn how to do that?"