Crush!
Kill! Destroy!
"Ouch...!"
-Steve, 1999
Make: Buick
Model: Regal
Year: 1986
Engine: 305 w/4bbl
This was to be Jim's sophomore season. Would he put on a hell of a show as did I? You better believe it. Much to my surprise, Jim was rearing to go during the time that I was building my ill fated Edgecrusher. The problem was, that he said he was going to do it, but he never got around to starting on a car. It's probably a good that he had a car available to him. The car he had was an '86 Buick Regal Limited. He had this car for several years. He bought it to be his everday driver, but he had some issues when it came to getting a title for it. So it sat for most of that time. He did use it some as an everyday driver, but the time it spent sitting did a number on it, dry rot wise. It had leaked oil big time, the exhaust was shot, but the car still had potential. It was a T-top and it had a high output 5.0 V8 with a factory posi rearend. Short and simple: The car was fast. It had been sitting at my folk's house for over a year collecting varmits and things and my dad wasn't too thrilled that it was there for so long with no plan. When I stored a car there, everyone knew what it was going to do. I was pestering Jim whenever I could to get him to drive again. It didn't take much, let me tell you. So, about two weeks before the derby, he decided that the Buick had enough time on Earth and it was to be his next ride.
The car itself was in pretty good shape. One side was stoved in a bit when a pickup truck backed into it and there was a iny amount of rot on the quarters, but that was it. The engine ran strong, despite the fact that it leaked oil. My brother could peel out for up to a minute or more before the car would move, creating a great noxious cloud of burned rubber. The first big issue was would they allow the car at all? The car was a T-top, but I have seen T-tops there in the past. The safe bet was to call JMP and ask them what we could do. They told us to rivet or weld sheet metal to it and that would suffice. Hey, we could do that! Jim did most of the building himself as I was busy building Edgecrusher at about the same time. Jim knew the rules, he could do a good job. And he did! He went out and bought a whole bunch of ducting steel and rented a rivet gun and riveted a roof onto the car. Probably his one big boo boo was that he removed the ENTIRE dashboard. Technically that's against the rules, plus he hosed his ignition wiring. Dad fix the wiring in 2.5 seconds (where the rest of us were looking at it dumbly), but he needed advice about what to do about the missing dash. He came with me the first day I drove Edgecrusher and he talked to Ron, the head official (and a hell of a guy). Ron told him that all he had to do was pad the hell out of the dash area. See, that's one of the real cool things about the officials where we run. They want everybody to run and have fun. I think that's cool! So, Jim ran home and used his rear seat cushion to pad the cockpit. The car was ready to drive on the same day that my Edgecrusher was going for it's second heat, so we made a family thing out of it. I lent him a fresh battery and a good promise to tow his ride to the fairgrounds. We promised to beat the snot out of each other should we end up in the same heat. He would have definantly come out on the sharp end of it with that one, as my car was three times the size of his.
Jim dedicated his 1999 car to his 1st (and thus far only) child, Jimmy Jr!
A cool shot of the roof that Jim riveted to the car. Also, you can see the mass of padding inside the car.
Big Buick and Little Buick. Edgecrusher (on the right) and Jim's Regal are side by side. Jim, myself, my wife, and his girlfriend are there as well.
Another view of the interior.
Brother Little Tim behind the wheel of the Regal.
Our bit of advice for James was that he should use the superior speed and maneuverability of his car to pick and choose his hit's. His car would take too much of a terrible beating before crumpling up and dying. Jim nodded his head with complete understanding. As it was, we did not get into the same heat. As I had a wagon, they stuck me with the rest of the big cars, while Jim was in heat three. In the 2nd heat, some guy in a mid-80s Regal went out and won the heat! They did penalized him a posistion, however, as his trunk still had the spare tire in it!! It gave us hopes that Jim's 2nd season would be a successful one.
A cruddy side view of the Regal.
The business end of the nimble Regal.
Jim making some last minute adjustments before the heat.
Remember all that great advice that we gave Jim, before the heat? It all went out the window as he pulled his car onto the track. Calm, cool, collective Jim was no longer in control; Mr Road Rage was at the wheel and all of these sons-of-goats on the track were in deep, deep trouble! The track was relatively dry and the posi traction really helped Jim fly. I swear, if you put wings on the Regal, it would have went airborne! Jim started off using his rear like everyone else and placed several good shots of poeple. The rear actually started going up, to my surprise. I guess, though, that it got boring after a while, becasue Jim started using the fragile nose of Regal to do harm unto others. At one point it Jim ran face first into some guy and a large peice of the Regal's fiberglass nose went flying 50 feet into the air! Jim didn't have the big car this year, but he did have a psychological advantage. He was driving that poor Regal to hell and back and loving every minute of it and trying to take as many of the other drivers with him. The Regal thought it was bigger than it was, or maybe that was the driver!
Jim putting the smack to someone's front tire. At least he was aiming for the good stuff!
Jim saying 'HELLO' to the orange Caprice.
Jim throwing another shot into someone's front tires. Notice how close he is to the driver door. He's just saying Hi!
The rules say nothing about side swiping a sap and scaring the crap out of them!
Jim lauching himself face first into someone's front tires from halfway across the track.
Wow! Jim is using the rear of the Regal! Amazing!
Notice the rip ot in the dirt next to #40(Jim). He spun half way around track to smack that guy.
As you can see, Jim was very active during the heat. he always kept moving and hit as hard as he could. In many respects he was driving smarter than he did last year, but he was definantly driving more crazy too! Unfortunatly, Jim's reach for glory was cut short by an incredible peice of bad luck/timing. After Jim sped cross the track and welted a massive hit on someone over there, he immediatly kicked it into reverse and sped after a guy in an early 80's Caprice in reverse. Jim picked up speed steadily (the regal was battered but running superbly) and he tried aiming for the Caprices rear tire. The Caprice suddenly cut the wheel and stopped at the same time Jim got tapped. The end result was disasterous for Jim. I can't tell you how fast he was going, but he was moving a quick clip and the rear of his car catapulted into the driver door of the Caprice so hard that the driver in the Caprice practically hit the passenger door. The driver door was obliterated and the guy stayed down. The crowd suddenly became silent, the drivers in the pit (including myself) looked on in worry, and the heat was stopped. Jim was horrified at what had happened. The fire guys came over to see if the guy was alright and he sprung back up from the seat, apparently only stunned a bit. The officials then DQ'd Jim for an excessive driver door hit. Jim yelled over to the kid (this was his 1st derby!) and asked if he was ok. The kid yelled back that he was goig to get Jim, but Jim told him that he was already out. The get them smiled and said 'Yeah I'm ok.' Apparently, no one else thought it was ok though. Even though Jim had been DQ'd and therefore shut down, he still was the recipient of several hard blows. At least three cars hit him at full speed in the driver front tire. I have to believe that it was a little retribution for a nasty illegal hit. On Jim's defense though, it really was an act of misfortune. Jim drives crazy and may get carried away sometimes, but I know that he means not to hurt anyone. He really felt bad about almost killing the kid on his first derby.
The track after the fact. The broken Regal was the first car hauled off the track.
We knew right away that the Regal was a total loss when the front end loader hoisted the car in the air and the whole front tire assembly fell off and was hanging by the remanents of the tie rod. The front of the car was mangled beyond mangled. The rear actually started bending up and the car never stalled or lost power. Jim was a gentleman's gentlaman about the situation and he did what most others probably wouldn't. He hunted down the kid he smashed (who came in 2nd place) and made sure that he was ok. The kid said afterward that was stunned when he felt the door hit his hip. He just had the wind knocked out of him. That just proved that there is a few weaknesses to the old idea of keeping your driver door facing the traffic. Sometimes that plan backfires and you get your clock cleaned. Jim and the kid hugged and wished each other well and then it was off to see me and the Edgecrusher do battle (Ha). Jim wasn't too upset that his car was destroyed after he'd been DQ'd and no one gave him trouble over the hit. Jim was mainly concerned that the officials would ban him from competing again. After Edgecrusher flopped and died, I was so fustrated at the stinky wagon that I gave it to Jim. We both went over to the officials table where they were signing up drivers for the next days races and asked if we could transfer my entry fee to Jim, since I never got Edgecrusher on the track. They agreed to do that. Unfortunatly for Jim, not even he and the mechanical genius dad could get Edgecrusher back to a running state so Jim's season had come to a close. After that, Jim gave me my battery back and we left.
While Jim was getting the fee transfered, I took a moment to to talk to the announce Jay. He was curious why the Edgecrusher never made it back and the conversation switch to Jim. The JMP guys love Jim, I was told. He's a very enthuesiatic driver and the crowds love it. They told him that they wanted him back next year and that made Jim smile.
Next year Jim! You and me! We're gonna storm that track! You and I are going for the gold next year Jim!
