Hercules

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This page was last updated on 02/20/01.

"This is the story of a time long ago, a time of myth and legend , when the Earth was still young.  The ancient gods were petty and cruel and they plagued mankind for their sport.  Plagued them with suffering and besieged them with terrors.  For centuries, the people had nowhere to turn, no one to look to for help.  Until he arrived.  He was a man like no other.  Born of a beautiful mortal woman but fathered by Zeus, king of the gods, Hercules possessed a strength the world had never seen, a strength surpassed only by the power of his heart.  No matter the obstacle, as long as there were people crying for help, there was one man who would never rest - Hercules!"

"Everywhere he went he was tormented by his stepmother, Hera, the all-powerful queen of the gods.  Hera's eternal obsession was to destroy Hercules, for he was the constant living reminder of Zeus' infidelity."

Hercules and the Amazon Women

03/08/1999

Alcmene: "Hercules, do you think there's a woman out there who can make you ... happy?" 
Hercules: "She's out there somewhere."

Hercules: "Hera is proof of what happens when a woman gets too much power."

Hercules: "Woo them ... romance them and they will stay with you forever".

Hercules: "What if I change?" 
Hippolyta: "You can't change, you're a man." 
Hercules: "If I learned to be the way I am, I can learn another way."

Amazon Queen Hippolyta: "... you came to destroy us! Or were you just lost wandering in the woods?" 
Hercules: "We were sent to destroy a vicious beast, we didn't know the beast was you." 
Hippolyta: "We are not beasts ... we are women."

Hippolyta: "This is Hercules, champion of man.  He's the best the enemy has to offer, and you've put him in chains.  Be proud!"

Hippolyta: "Just because we're not the kind of women you would like us to be, make no mistake, these are women: women who will not be controlled by men, not beaten down, not bought or sold like oxen.  Men will never dominate these women." 
Hercules: "We don't dominate you, we protect you, because you're weaker." 
Hippolyta: "Weaker?"

Hippolyta: "What have men ever brought into the world except death and destruction?"

Iolaus: "Best friends fighting back to back one last time."

Iolaus: "Careful dies, reckless kills!"

Iolaus: "Someday, Hercules, you're going to meet a woman unlike any other."

Lysia (to Hercules): "If it were up to me, you wouldn't be caged.   You'd be buried."

Trainer: "Emotions are for girls; you must learn to be like stone."

Zeus: "Just think back upon all the things I've taught you about women." 
Hercules: "I have been.  I'm maybe thinking you were wrong."

Zeus (to Hercules): "You mess around with the Amazons ... Hera's favorites ... you will make her very unhappy."

Zeus: "Please be gentle with me, or rough if you like."  
Lysia: "The rules are, no talk just sex." 
Zeus: "As you wish."

Zeus: "... women are the sweetest journey you will take in life.   But don't take just one, take many."

Zeus: "I like women with a little fire in their eyes -- but this one is all fire."

Zeus (Re: turning back time): " It's not the way it works!  If you only knew how complicated it gets with the stars, the planets, not to mention the other gods.  They would go insane if I started messing around with things.  Son, you can't imagine.  Have you any idea how angry Hera would be -- I couldn't go back home!" 
Hercules: "You never do, anyway."

Hercules and the Lost Kingdom

Deianeira: "You have no right to interfere with my destiny with the gods."  
Hercules: "Take my word for it, the gods don't care about your destiny."  
Deianeira: "And who are you that  you know so much?"   
Hercules: "I'm Hercules."  
Deianeira: "Your parents named you after Hercules?  Hah -- what a laugh!"

Deianeira: "Orphans need fairy tales too."

Deianeira: "Did you see that?  It came right for me!" 
Hercules: "I noticed."  
Deianeira: "I told you my place was with the gods."  
Hercules: "Deianeira, I don't think the gods hang out in here!" 
Deianeira: "But they accepted me.  That's all that matters."   
Hercules: "I don't know why you're so excited.  We're about to be digested."

Deianeira: "[Hera's] got [Hercules]."  
Zeus: "She won't hurt him.  She wouldn't dare."

Deianeira: "Are you immortal?"  
Hercules: "You want to know?  So do I.  All I can tell you is, when the sun's out, well, I'm going to live forever.  And at night, when I can't sleep and the worries start creeping in, well, the next monster's going to get me for sure."

Hercules: "Human sacrifices don't work."

Hercules: "Forget the gods.  You can get along without them.   If it doesn't rain, irrigate."

King of Troy (to Deianeira): " You were such a beautiful child that Hera demanded I sacrifice you to her sea monster.  I loved you too much.  I sacrificed all of Troy for one tiny girl."  
Deianeira: "No, you only sacrificed your own heart to keep me alive.  I found my way back, as you knew I would."

Priest: "Rise, blue serpent, and do the work that Hera asks of you."

Queen Omphale: "Are you comfortable?"  
Hercules: "Too comfortable."

Villager: "There's a monster, Hercules, you've got to help us!"

Waylin: "If you stand up to them, they don't exist."

Zeus: "You were great with that giant!"  
Hercules: "Forget the giant!  How do I find Troy?" 
Zeus: "Hercules, don't get involved."  
Hercules: "Involved?  Hera killed that messenger in my arms."  
Zeus: "She does strange things -- she's queen of the gods!"   
Hercules: "And you're supposed to be king."  
Zeus: "Who says I'm not?"  
Hercules: "So you're not going to help me again."   
Zeus: "  How can I explain?  I can't."  
Hercules: "Fine.  Thanks, father."

Hercules and the Circle of Fire

Guard: "I told you I can't help you.  This fire is for the great goddess Hera."  
Deianeira: "Some great goddess, she's not even lifting a finger to help these people.  None of your damn gods do!"  
Guard: "You can't come in."  
Deianeira: "All right -- what if I pay?"  
Guard: "Exactly what have you got in mind?  I'm thinking, uh, one hundred dinars!"   
Deianeira: "Fifty dinars."  
Guard: "Fifty dinars?"   
Deianeira: "All rights, fine, then fifty dinars."  
Guard: "Wait, wait, I said --"  
Deianeira: "You said fifty dinars!"   
Guard: "Uh, I did, but, uh,  I wasn't agreeing to, uh, fifty dinars."  
Deianeira: "Okay, find, then thirty dinars."  
Guard: "No, I didn't say thirty, I said fifty."  
Deianeira: "You think of yourself as an intelligent man."  
Guard: "I like to think so, yeah."   
Deianeira: "Well, then, you would think that twenty dinars would be a good deal."  
Guard: "No, uh, wait, wait."  
Deianeira: "Find, then, twenty dinars it is.  You drive a hard bargain."  
Hercules: "These fools don't deserve a single dinar.  I'll get the fire you need."   
Deianeira: "Excuse me?  I thought I was doing a pretty good job here.   What do you propose to do?"

Hercules and the Underworld

12/29/1999

Zeus: "Still wondering about your mortality?"
Hercules: "To tell you the truth, I don't think I really care if I live forever.  Everything I care about is right here and right now."

Hercules and the Maze of the Minotaur

12/29/1999

Hercules: "It's all turning out pretty ... green.  How are  your crops doing?"
Iolaus: "Oh, not too good.  I can't get the hang of this manure thing.  You know, it's either too much of there's not enough -"
Hercules: "Yeah, yeah, yeah, I can't figure out what to do with manure either.  Do you ... do you mash it in?"
Iolaus: "No, I kind of spread it all around, you know.  Maybe I should mash it in, do you find it works?"
Hercules: "What I do ..."
Iolaus: "What the hell are we talking about?"
Hercules: "I have no idea.  Let's go back to the house, get you something to drink, and we can talk about something we give a damn about."

Hercules / Xena Spinoffs

The Battle for Mt. Olympus (animated direct to video movie)

Young Hercules (live action direct to video movie/pilot)

Amazon High (live action pilot for series)