Star Wars

Parodies

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This page was last updated on 02/20/01.

Space Balls

"Evil will always triumph because good is dumb."

"She's gone from suck to blow!"

Thumb Wars

Copyright � O Entertainment.  No infringement intended.

"If there were thumbs in space and they got mad at each other, there would be Thumb Wars."

Resistance Ship Officer: "Princess Bunhead, are you all right?" 
Princess Bunhead: "We fight to the death." 
Officer: "No!  You must live to reign over all of us carrying on the great tradition of royalty, superiority by birthright.  Quickly, go, and take these droids.  I will stay here and be killed in your place." 

Bunhead: "Black Helmet Man." 
Lord Black Helmet Man: "Well, what have we here?  Princess Bunhead of the Thumbellion resistance.  ..." 
Bunhead: "You'll never get away with this, Black Helmet Man.  You are bad.  You are bad, and we are good.  Your badness will be the end of you and our goodness will be our triumph.  Bad is bad, good is good.  Bad, bad, good, bad.  Good, good, bad, good, bad, good." 
Helmet: "The power is strong in you, as is your silly gibberish." 

Helmet: "Now it is time for you to turn to the nail side of the thumb." 
Bunhead: "Never!" 
Helmet: "Then you will die."

Aunt Gonnabiteit: "You're becoming a fine specimen of a man, Loke Groundrunner." 
Loke Groundrunner: "Well, a lot of good that does me here.  I want to join the Thumbellion resistance.  I want to make something of myself; be of use to someone." 
Uncle Soondead: "Well, you're plenty useful here, Loke.  The harvest is soon and you'll be getting help.  I bought a couple of droids today from the freaky little hooded creatures.  The big one is sort of effeminate and annoying and I think the little one has an amputee inside." 
Loke: "Harvest!  Harvest!  Harvest!  All you care about is the stupid harvest!  You don't care about me.  I want to see the universe.  You don't know who I am inside!  You never have!  I'm going to run away and never come back ever!" 
Uncle: "Whew, what a whiner that kid is." 

Oobedoob Scoobeedoobee Benubi: "Crying is for little girls, babies and men who just had their ears ripped off." 
Loke: "Who are you?" 
Oobedoob: "I am Oobedoob Benubi.  I have the silliest name in the galaxy." 
Loke: "What's your middle name?" 
Oobedoob: "Scoobeedoobee." 
Loke: "Oobedoob Scoobeedoobee Benubi?" 
Oobedoob: "One and the same.  And you must be the crybaby." 
Loke: "No one here understands me." 

Bunhead video: "Oobedoob Benubi, I pray this message finds you well.  Black Helmet Man is building a big dangerous weapon thing.  I've been captured, but I'm holding key information that the resistance needs in order to prepare a frontal attack.  Help me, oobedoob benubi...." 

Loke: "I want to help more than anything but my Uncle Soondead and Aunt Gonnabiteit need me to help with the harvest." 
Oobedoob: "Wait a second.  What are their names?" 
Loke: "Soondead and Gonnabiteit?  Oh, my gosh!"
[Loke runs back to his Aunt and Uncle's house]
Loke: "Oh!  They've been clipped!  Aah!  Who would've done such a thing as this?" 
Oobedoob: "This is the work of Black Helmet Man." 
Loke: "Who?" 
Oobedoob: "Your father -- I mean, uh, a man who's farther.  A farther away man." 
Loke: "Whoever he is, he must be bad.  I will go with you and fight." 
Oobedoob: "Oh, big sacrifice.  Everyone you know is dead.  Glad you could tear yourself away.  All right.  If you're going we must do this correctly.  Touch your tongue to mine." 
Loke: "What?" 
Oobedoob: "Your tongue -- touch it to mine." 
Loke: "Why?" 
Oobedoob: "To make it all official." 
Loke: "To make what official?" 
Oobedoob: "You know, all of it.  --  Never mind, then.  We're off." 

Helmet: "Do not underestimate the power of the thumb." 
Officer 1: "Oh, don't try to scare us with your ooby dooby magic talk, Helmet Man.  Your 'I'm a horrifying warlock and I'm going to get you with my mystic potions' talk sickens me.  I laugh at you and your 'I'm a frightening wizard' threats of hostility.  Why don't you gather some frog legs and eyes of a newt, and conjure up a potion that can get you your face back and perhaps make you one mere ounce less pathetic than you truly are."

Helmet: "Any other comments?" 
Officer 2: "I have a question.  Why do we all speak in British accents when we're from outer space and there is no Britain?" 

Hand Duet: "All right, you thumbs, let's get down to business.  I'm Hand Duet.  This is Crunchy.  A one-armed man killed my wife, Sabrina, a working girl.  Now I'm a fugitive and in clear and present danger.  I should be presumed innocent but they're playing patriot games with me - raiders, regarding henry, blade runner, air force one." 
Loke: "What was that last part?" 
Hand: "I'm trying to keep a low profile.  I owe Gabba the Butt a lot of money and he's right over there.  ...  If you need a pilot, I'm the best there is.  My ship's the fastest there is.  But it's going to cost you a lot.  I don't take money, only girly giggles." 
Loke: "What do you mean?" 
Hand: "You've got to giggle like a girl.  Half now and half when we reach Daldar."
Oobedoob: "What if we should choose not to?" 
Hand (as Helmet forces enter the bar): "Looks like you don't have much choice." 
[Oobedoob and Loke giggle like girls] 
Hand: "That'll do for the advance.  Let's go." 

Hand: "Well, there she is, gents.  Hand's Hand." 
Loke: "I'm not flying in that.  I want my giggle back." 

Helmet: "You managed to endure the clippers quite well, Princess." 
Bunhead: "I needed a trim." 

Bunhead: "The Thumbellion resistance base is on Aldoonee.  Now, leave Daldar be.  You said you wouldn't blow it up if I told you." 
Helmet: "I did say that, didn't I?  But I didn't say anything about spinning it.  ...  Spin the planet!  Let's play 'Spin the Planet', Princess!  Spin it faster!" 
[on Hand's Hand streaking toward Daldar]
Loke: "What is it, Oobe?" 
Oobedoob: "I can feel the wailing of thousands of nauseous souls.  The dim side of the thumb is gaining in strength." 
Hand: "The power of the thumb?  Don't believe any of that crap, kid." 

Oobedoob spirit: "Run, Loke." 
Loke: "Oobedoob, you're still here?" 
Oobedoob spirit: "Yes, in spirit." 
Loke: "That's kind of creepy." 

Bunhead: "I escaped somehow.  Let's go." 

Loke: "Who are you?" 
Puppet: "I am a puppet." 
Loke: "I'm sorry?" 
Puppet: "From beneath the floor, the man does control me, yes." 
Loke: "I feel in my spirit that I am to train under you so, I, too, can be a thumb master." 
Puppet: "Train you, will I?  Train you, I will.  Yes.  Step one:  Touch your tongue to mine." 

Instructor:  "What we have in the Thumbstar is the greatest weapon of mass destruction the universe has ever seen.  Luckily, they included a button right here that'll blow the entire thing up." 
Pilot: "How will we find this button, sir?" 
Instructor: "That's the best part.  They built this corridor that leads right to it.  You just zip in, follow a straight line and fire." 
Bunhead: "Why would they do that?" 
Instructor: "You got me, but isn't it great?" 

Pilot: "I've got three fistfighters coming from my left!"
Annoying Pilot: "Copy, Stray Dog." 
Pilot: "I don't think I'm Stray Dog." 
Annoying Pilot: "Copy that, Red Rooster." 
Pilot: "I don't think I'm Red Rooster, either." 
Annoying Pilot: "No problem, Nasty Butler." 
Pilot: "I'm ending this transmission." 

Loke: "Okay, somebody cover me.  I'm going in!" 
Annoying Pilot: "We got company, Swollen Ostrich." 
Loke: "Oh, man, it's you." 
[Helmet forces blow up Annoying Pilot]
Loke: "Thank you." 

Helmet: "The thumb is strong in this one."
[Helmet jumps onto the front of Loke's fighter]
Loke: "Huh?  This ends here and now, Black Helmet Man." 
[lightsaber fight between Loke and Helmet]
Helmet: "Yes, use your hate.  Join me on the nail side of the thumb." 
Loke: "Never!" 
Helmet: "It is your destiny.  Look inside.  You'll see the truth." 
Loke: "I'm feeling something strange inside.  What are you doing to me?" 
Helmet: "Your rightful place is at my side.  You know it is true." 
Loke: "What do you mean?  What does all this mean?" 
Helmet: "Loke, I am your mother!" 
Loke: "Nooooooooooooo!" 
Helmet: "And now mama's gonna teach you a lesson in manners! 

Loke: "I'm going to trust my feelings and use the power of the thumb." 
Oobedoob spirit: "Use the instrument panel, Loke.  ...  The instrument panel.  That's what it's there for.  Advanced weaponry designed to hit tiny targets."