Home

Stories
Missing:
Pictures
Roller Hockey
National Title

Missing Roomates

      Brad was our 31 E Lane roomate for our first year here.  Brad was also known as the ambiguously gay roomate.  He was a theater major that worked at StarBucks, enough said.  Brad did get with chicks, but only with ugly chicks.  Brad's motto was, "Hey ugly chicks need luvin' too."  Quite often these girls needed at least two paper bags, and the girls were not even worth punching holes into the bags.  But you are thinking, the last time I checked that did not make you gay.

      Over Spring Break 00, Timmy went to Daytona Beach to visit one of his friends.  When Timmy came back a few days early, as he entered the house he saw some blankets being shuffled around in the living room.  Timmy saw someone under the blankets with Brad and thinks he may have seen some short blonde highlighted hair, but may be wrong in udder shock of the incident.  After Timmy finished packing his bags to go home, when he returned to the living room he noticed that the it was vacated.  Notice I am not saying he is gay, only ambiguously gay.  But then there is the "company" party that was thrown over Christmas break 99', but that is another story.

Last Seen:     Bradley was last seen managing StarBucks throughout the Columbus area and banging his boyfriend in the Drake Union bathrooms.

      Clay was our roomate for our freshmen and sophmore years back in the towers.  Hailing from Toronto, OH, Clay was a man of mischief.  One infamous night, after drinking a case of Zima, Clay decided that in the middle of the night he had to relieve himself.  In a drunken mess, Clay decided that the middle of the bedroom was a good enough place to go to the bathroom.  The next morning, we were all awoken by Cormac yelling, "I got piss all over my gloves."  Clay had pissed on Cormac's hockey gloves, but as Clay smelled the puddle he insisted, "That's not piss."  But this is only a small amount of the havoc that was wreaked by Clay.  Check out the stories page to find out more about Clay. 

Last Seen:     Clay was last seen wreaking havoc in a trailer park in Toronto.

      The spanish dong was our roomate our sophmore year.  He replaced Clay after Clay was not allowed to return to school.  Omar is one of our immigrant friends who hails from Venezuela.  Omar was quite the pimp with girlfriends in Venezuela and Miami.  Omar also got with the floor whore one night and told us that he double bagged it because he did not know where she had been.  One of the highlights from Omar was him trying to convince Cormac that he needed a girlfriend in Columbus too.  He even drew a map showing Michigan, where little Lynnie is, and Ohio.  Omar said that there was enough distance between the two that Cormac could get a girl down here and Lynn would not find out. 

Last Seen:     Omar was last seen terrorizing women in Buckeye Village.

Back to Mainpage