In reviewing the Document ‘Australian Kidney

Foundation’ the wording seemed to be well placed and sensitive on a tough issue. Donating bites and pieces of anyone’s love ones must be difficult so the document needs to be carefully drafted.

The major problem of this document (number 7) is that of placement of information, see the panel outline titled prof2.pub. This outline has the first line of the brochure in each panel.

Questions 6 & 7. On the outside of the brochure is disjointed and appears to forgotten and misplaced. These questions should appear on panel eight (8). This would allow the questions to continue and not breaking the line of thought of the reader. The current placement of these two questions would act as a noise and just be over looked.

Question six could flow on from question five in panel seven and then question seven and the donor card advertisement on panel eight, followed by the Donor’s ID Card.

Panel two looks like a patch work quilt, three fonts and all displayed in different styles, from fine print to large and bold font. Then comes the logo, The writing in this panel would appear more professional all one font, same style and just different sizes with the larger print at the top of panel two.

The foundation’s logo on panel one would look more effected repeated in full of ‘Billy The Kidney’ on panel four. Remove the addresses and phone numbers and redesign panel four in full.

Panel four:

Start it with an 1800 phone number. (1800300300) Contact us for your nearest office.

Email address [email protected]/kidney

Visit our web site http://www.span.com.au/kidney

Then the logo, from panel one: ‘Give and let live Decide to be an organ donor and tell your family’

Keeping the ‘Australia Kidney Foundation’ logo under Billy’s feet.

Making this panel more graphical and user friendly to the eye of the reader.

Apart from these few things, misplaced information and poor use of graphics along with the fonts in panel two and the need to overload panel four with tiny information that any one with vision problems would miss the foundation’s important contact details purely because of the size. The 1800 phone needs to be large and predominate in the centre of panel four.

Great brochure and as an organ donor an important brochure on a very sensitive issue.