Some family members also suggested I do the same. Other family members suggested that they should do it to me.
 
I suggested to them they they were not the CHRISTIANS they claimed to be. Since 1978 I have not seen any family members with the exception of my Mom, my brothers and a couple of cousins. Everyone else pefers not to know me.
 
GOD will sort this all out in time or in heaven, whichever comes first..

       I tried male hormones in 1971 and I feminized on them,
       actually they kick started my 2nd puberty...into a feminine
       phenotype. I piled on the pounds where women gain during
       puberty.

       The half life of the Testo was being reduced from injection to
       injection and being spilled out of my body. That means the
       GLOMULAR CAPSULES inside the kidneys spilled the
       testosterone molecules and they were not re-uptaked,
       instead estrogen was being produced by my liver and it was
       re-uptaked by the kidneys, while the testo was spilled..
       (Yup I sure did a lot of reading to learn this.)

       In 1982 I spoke with Dr. Willard Goodwin (UCLA ret.) who
       told me then "even if you had kidney and liver transplants,
       how are you going to make the cells respond? GOD
       designed you this way for a specific reason." Which means
       that even the majority of the cells of my body did not
       respond to testosterone treatment. This is known as
       PARTIAL A.I.S.
       (androgen insensitivity syndrome)

By this time, I have seen the XRAYS (1973) taken dyring a retrograde pyelogram, that show that I have both male (30%) and female (70%) organs.

Well now I know why I consider myself both makle and female, because my body is.

From about ages 8-13 (five years total) I had a reoccurring dream which changed slightly each night. One main thing I learned from the dream. TRUST GOD ALWAYS, because HE was in the dream. He revealed HIS PRESENCE OF SELF to my mind at age eight, TWO YEARS before I went to any kind of bible class.
.
In the dream, the devil [ aka Satan ] was attacking me. I saw GOD in my mind (in the dream) and HE told me that if I would ask HIM for HIS strength, then HE would strengthen me and (together HE and) I would defeat the enemy.

[Satan -The Devil] The dreams changed slightly over the years, but each time I asked for God's strength and (together HE and) I would physically beat up the devil.In the last dream, the devil told me he had me where he wanted me, then God appeared and carried me away to safety, slamming the 'door in the devils face'.

There were other instances which were not dreams. If I wrote them down here, you would not believe me. I would hardly believe me, but they happened.

In some of my most painful 'trials' after surgery and after the demerol or morphine no longer worked and remembering what HE told me in my dreams could I trust in GOD to sing praises to Him.After a period of time (20-40 minutes it would seem) would I hear a voice whisper to me that 'HE would not let me suffer more than I could endure'. I then passed out and went to sleep. When I awoke, I had no more physical pain and required no more pain killers.

If I learned one thing, it is to, TRUST GOD ALWAYS!

So how come us humans have such a short term memory on The Blessings of GODand such a long term memory on the bad things that happen to us?

        It was 1983 and I was playing video games with a friend.
        That was the heyday of the Atari 2600 game machine. A
        year later I bought my first computer, a Commodore 64.
         I bought the computer, because I had volunteered for
        every position the church I was going to and was told ''dont call us, we will call you'' They never did. SO after 9 month, it was computers.

At first I had a tape drive. Anyone who has had a tape drive knows how slow they are in comparison to a floppy disk drive. Within a few months I bought my first 1541 floppy disk drive. The 1541 floppy drive was a single sided floppy drive. It could only format the diskette to a mere 170 KB.

By Christmas of 1985 the C128 was available with the 1571 disk drive which had a formatted capacity of 340 KB. A year later the 1581 came out. It used the 3.5'' micro floppy and it had a formatted disk capacity of 880 KB, which was considered a lot in those days.
       .
By 1987 I bought my first 8088 with two floppy drives and a 20 meg HDD with an RLL controller. The 20 meg drive was formatted to 32 megs. There were a lot of controller cards available then so you could take a 20 meg drive and "push it" as high as 45megs formatted capacity. I bought my first modem in April 1986. It was a 300 baud modem. I went "online crazy" and dialed into 83 computer systems in one day in southern california. My aim was to get a large a list of other bbses as possible. There were about 10,000 BBSES in southern california in those days. My friends and I were on the top 1,000 BBSES in those days.
        .
By the Christmas of 1986 I upgraded my modem to a 1200 baud modem and sold off the 300 baud modem. I also subscribed to Compuserve, which was not cheap in those days. They charged by the BAUD RATE of your modem. 1 hour of time at 300 baud was equal to 30 minutes of 1200 baud and 15 minutes of 2400 baud.

I dropped compuserve two years later when I got my 2400 baud modem.
The 2400 baud modem was my mainstay from 1988 until 1994 when I upgraded to a USR Sportster 14.4k Fax/Modem which came with a subscription to AOL and access to the internet. AOL's rates were $9.95 per month with 5 free hours of access.

After that them hour's cost you $2.95 per hour. I was "surfing the net" about 23 hours a month, of which 18 of them hours cost me $2.95 per hour. While online I learned of other Internet Provider Services. So in March 1995 I went with NETCOM Communications.

I figured it had the best deal for me with NO TIME LIMIT for $19.50 per month. By the time June had rolled around I had subscribed to The Arlington courseware course. I got weekly emails with lessons to navigate the internet for an initial cost of $20.00 - a very good deal for the "newbie".

The first three weeks online I downloaded a course from The Long Beach IBM Users Group BBS at 562-420-1000. It had information on LYNX, GOPHER, EMAIL, FTP, ARCHIE, VERONICA, JUGHEAD and so forth. It had about 40,000 words, which I read in one week. Within three
weeks I was surfing the net.
At first I visited FTP sites, then GOPHERsites, then I went out onto the WWW with LYNX in May of 1995- when there were fewer than 800,000 sites on the WWW.

One of theTeachers at Cerritos College asked me to do some research for her.Using Gopher-Email, and Email, I emailed her over 75 megabytes of textfiles from the internet. One of the Sysops at Cerritos College had told her that she had unlimited storage.

After 75 megabytes were uploaded he started asking who and the heck I was that I was emailing her an average of 5 megabytes a day on topics from Anthropology to Zoology,from Anon FTP to LISTSERV's..

I started with Scott Yanoff's list of web sites on the internet The first three months I was online thru NETCOM I averaged 10 hours per day every day of the week. Within 3 month's I was still surfing the internet
around 8 hours per day in 4 hour shifts. One time using FTP mode I went to ftp.microsoft.comand downloaded 40 megabytes of software of Visual Basic and MS Access help files. 15,000+ Files available for download from microsoft.

         We are, according to JEREMIAH 1:5 designed
        by GOD. "HE knows us before we were formed in our
        mothers womb."Therefore HE knows what amount of
        DNA that is required to construct each one of us.When
        HE wants to make a male he uses 23 pairs of
        chromosomes, ofwhich the 23rd pair has an X
        chromatin and a Y chromatin. 46,XY
         When HE wants to make a female he uses 23
        pairs of chromosomes, ofwhich the 23rd pair has two
        X chromatin's. 46,XXThere are 23 pairs of
        chromosomes for a total of 46 chromosomes to
        construct a human baby. The mothers egg has 23
        chomosomes and the fathers sperm has 23
        chromosomes, usually.
         Sometimes HE makes variations on male and
        female by constructing people with both male and
        female reproductive organs. In somecases you get
        Intersexed [Hermaphrodite] who have XX but are male
        or female and other times you get XY but who are
        female or male.
         Sometimes you get Mosaic's [47,XXY/46,XY, or
        47,XXY/46,XX or 47,XXX/46,XX] or any other
        combination. Sometimes the Mosaic is male,
        sometimes female and sometimes a Mosaic may have
        qualities of both male and female. A person with XXY
        or XXX has 47 chromosomes instead of 46
        chromosomes. They have 3 chromosomes on the 23rd
        pair of chromosomes instead of 2 chromsomes. Thus
        the designation is 47,XXY or 47,XXX.

You can learn more of this by visiting http://www.klinefeltersyndrome.org/

If you wish to know more about this, then ask Professor Almon who is a Molecular Biologist at SUNY, Buffalo,NY.

        It was the spring of 1963 when I began to wonder for
        what purpose God put people here on earth. I felt that
        robots could do all that were were doing, us humans,
        here on earth, but they would just be machines and
        could not know God.

         I wondered "How could I know God?"
         Could anyone know God. I read in the Holy Bible,
        in Genesis, about Abraham who wasa friend of God,
        Jacob who wrestled the Angel of the Lord and in
        Exodus, Moses who spoke with God. How could a
        mere human being havea relationship with God, I
        wondered...
         In April 1963 on a wednesday evening, about 20
        minutes afterthe preacher started preaching, I got up
        from my seat in the pews and ran down the aisle to the
        altar and knelt and asked God to forgive me of my
        wrong doings [sin]. I prayerfully asked HIM for
        salvation thru HIS Son, JESUS.
         It was the spring of 1967 when I heard of the
        Baptism of the Holy Spirit. The evangelist read in the
        Acts of The Apostles about the disciples praying in the
        upper room to await the Holy Spirit.Some people
        believe that when you ask Jesus into your life,
        repentingof your sins that you are 'filled with the Holy
        Spirit'. I will not dispute their beliefs, but I do know for
        myself that being 'baptized by the Holy Spirit' is
        probably different that being filled with the Holy Spirit
        when first saved, as mentioned in The Acts of The
        Apostles, Chapter(s)1:5, 2:1-4, 2:17-18.

        For me being baptized by the Holy Spirit was akin to
        standingin a waterfall like Niagara Falls, like being filled
        with electricity and like as though I was plugged into GOD.
        I knew my feet were on thefloor of the church I was
        standing in, yet in my mind I felt like from knee's upwards I
        was standing before the Throne of God and He wasless
        than 100 feet away and I was praising Him.

         I felt in my mind that HE told me that the brain
         damage I was born with that I was healed of it and
         that I no lnger needed to take the medication. My
         parents and the doctor were not happy that I quit
         taking the medicine whichI told them about two weeks
         after being healed. Much later an EEC showed that
         indeed the left temporal lobe damage was no longer
         there. The doctors had no explanation for it.
         Seven years after I asked God for salvation thru HIS
         Son Jesus Christ [The Messiah] I began to enter one
         of the most unusual trials you could ever imagine. This
         was in November of 1970.See next chapter.

        Cortisone can feminize you. Usually when that happens you
        are withdrawn from the cortisone (to stop the feminization
        process)or are given Testosterone to countact the
        feminization process to reverse it and maculinize your body.
        Unfortunatly the doctor did not know my body was
        intersexed. Then again, neither did I.
        The testosterone injections 400 MG injected once every
        TWO weeks proved, via lab tests, that my body was
        dumping the testosteroneand that the testosterone's "HALF
        LIFE" was being reduced by 50% fromone injection to the
        next injection. That somehow I was feminizing on male
        hormones. "OOP"s!" What a surprise.
        So at age 26 I began my second puberty, feminizing in all
        thesecondary places girls feminize when puberty starts.
        How humbling thisshould have been for me a man, but then
        again seeing as I was not surewhich gender I was: part of
        me was happy about it. Another part of me decided that I
        should hide it from everyone, especially my family.As
        ignorant as I was about it; so was my family doctor.
        One and a half years later I was hospitalized as the R.A.
        [rhuematoid arthritis] had burnt out my right knee to the
        point I had to have surgery just so as to keep the ability to
        walk. Dr. Wm Wilsonwas the Orthopedist. He removed the
        knee cap along with tumors and cysts from within my right
        knee. It hurt!

        Six months later I had surgery on my left wrist to
        alleviatethe pain and inflammation from the R.A. It had
        eaten up part ofone of my wrist bones.
         Six months later in June of 1973 I had bleeding from
         mykidneys. So I was referred to a Urologist, a DR.
         Williams. He madethe preliminary diagnosis of
         Klinefelters Syndrome. He said I had to have a test
         known as a cystoscopic exam to xray the kidneys and
         seewhat was going on with them.
         I had kidney stones alright. The xrays also showed up
         a few things I had no idea I did have, like female
         organs. Ha ha. God has a sense of humor. I suppose I
         could have cried about it and felt sorry formyself, but
         part of me had always wanted to be a female instead
         ofa male. I knew though that I would have to keep
         quiet about it. I knew this because while I was still in
         the hospital a nurse came to meand she told me how
         DR. Willaims had repaired her vagina. Now whywould
         a nurse tell me about her personal female problems?
         When I mentioned that to DR. Williams he had me
         moved from a ward offour beds to a private room.
         Since then the drs. have tried to keep mein private
         rooms. Sometimes a private room is nice, sometimes
         not so nice.
         A year later I had surgery on my right wrist and the
         Superintendent from work called to let me know that I
         should look foranother job, because if the company
         took me back their BLUE CROSS insurance rates
         would skyrocket an addtional $10,000 per month.So I
         began looking for work else where with a cast still on
         my right arm.
         A few years later the R.A. caught up to me at work as
         the boss saw me limping while I walked. My knee was
         so swollen that my workpants were tight around me
         leg at the knee. He came over to where I was an told
         me that no job was worth killing myself over and that I
         should go off on disability. I went to see my
         Orthopedist. He took one look at my knee and said I
         needed to have a total right knee replacement.Due to
         under-insurance from work I would have had to pay
         $700.00 "upfront" to the doctor to have the knee
         surgery. I declined the surgery. The doctor said I had
         no choice but to go onto disability.

         Since that day in Jan 1977, I have had over 20
        more surgeries on various joints and internal organs. I
        have since had two total jointreplacements, had a
        broken leg bolted back together from the inside, and
        had both the male and female organs removed.
         Hermaphrodites tend to get cancer of the
        reproductive organs. So you have a choice, lose them
        and live or keep them and die. When some of them
        were removed a few years ago, the doctor told me that
        he found cysts and tumors [benign] mixed in with the
        organs and that I had developedperotinitis. The doctor
        told me that he removed 50% of my large colon and all
        of my female organs, to save my life.
         Within two years some of my female organs grew
        back and I am not so sure who was more surprised,
        my Ob/Gyn or me. None of the male organs grew
        back.
         [Thank God, best to be only 1 gender.]

Within the past 4 years, much has happened. My close friend, Jan Tanner died from Cancer. She said her right side below her shoulder, above the bottom rib, had hurt for a a few months. When she went into the drs. office, tests revealed a large tumor, below her right lung penetrating the diaphragm and sitting on top of the Adrenal gland of the right kidney.... The doctors told her that the tumor could not be removed and so used chemotherapy.....which she said she could not stand the side affects of....She died Jan 21st 1997.

Why did I not pray for her to be healed of the cancer? Because each time I tried to do so, I felt that GOD was telling me to pray for her to have spiritual strength and that is exactly what I did......and that is what she received.

I think the biggest hurt came when my friend Ron Kagan died. So far as I know he was not saved. He was the first person I ever cried [mourned] over who died. I had spoken with ron on the phone about 3 weeks befire he died and tried speaking to hm about savaltion, but he said he was a "Capitalist".

After that I felt that God was distancing me from ron, but I didn't know why. The tuesday before the Saturday that ron died on, I sent ron an email on the dead sea scrolls, concerning that portion that mentioned the Messiah.
I had back to back dreams, one in the evening and the next morning of the day I saw on the morning news that he had been killed in a motorcycle accident. The dreams consisted of ''a circle of light, with the light comming down from above, me standing in them middle of the circle, seeing Ron standing at the edge of the circle, in darkness.The look on his face was one of amazment, as though his thoughts were 'Oh my god! It is true, JESUS REALLY IS THE SAVIOUR'

The thoughts that ran through my mind were, ''we lost one''. Once you hve repented of your sins and have asked Jesus to come into your life, HE resides in you, thus the term 'we'.

Acts Chapter 2:1-4
  And they were all filled with the Holy Ghost, and began to speak with other tongues, as the Spirit gave them utterance. (speech)

Acts Chapter 2:17-18
And it shall come to pass in the last days, said God, I will pour out
my Spirit upon all flesh: and your sons and your daughters shall
prophesy, and your young men shall see visions and your old men shall dream dreams. And on my servants and my handmaidens I
will pour out my Spirit; and they shall prophesy.

1) You get it from your parents-mainly the male parent. Beating you up as you grow up because you do not behave in either the masculine behavior of a male or in the female behavior pattern of a female. So you may ''yoyo'' back and forth.

2) You get it from the medical professionals when they learn of it, and they will. Then the medical profesisonals tromp on you emotionally, blaming you for it.

3) You get it from ignorant people, even Pastors.. I told my Pastor by accident, but that Pastor tunred out to be serving GOD, not serving his flesh.

Fleshly responding christian people ''lump'' intersexed / hermaphrodites into the homosexual catagory, most liklely       due to ignorance.

4) You get it from people, because they think that if your body is intersexed, then so is your sexuality, thus you have to be homosexual,
because their minds cannot conceive of a person with both male and female organs as being heterosexual.

Such ignorance still abounds even in the medical profession. Some think it is funny. Some think they have discovered it and so then then proceed, like the little kids they still are: to tell all their peers and try to ''document'' you.

If you meet a doctor like that, leave.......asap or get a very good lawyer...

5) You tend to get cynical over the years. I did.