I'll Be Dog-Gone (15)

"Yeah, that's the downer of working for a villian. Anyway... You come through on this, you walk. Otherwise, you're looking at some serious time in the big-house."

"Splendid." Rae sits back as the boat heads towards the dock. Before they reach it, everybody finds themselves in WWII era clothes. Ragnar is wearing dress fatigues. IQ has a suit. Pedro and Jeff are wearing more casual clothes. Rae is wearing a cute little USO uniform.

Drum watched 6th walking up the stairs beside him, trying to read through the haze of exhaustion in her mind. He caught her arm as she missed a step, keeping her from falling over.

Drum woke up a few hours later, with a crick in his neck from sleeping in the armchair, to find 6th standing in front of the mirror, frowning as she tried to adjust her corset underneath her dress.

She laughed again, and pulled out one of the Colt Walkers she had slung low on her hips. "These real?" she asked, spinning one around on her finger, "Or illusionary?"

"Did you change my clothes?" she asked Drum. She was wearing similar clothes as the rest of them, but in a heather gray, a winchester rifle slung over her shoulder.

They left the hotel and walked up the street where the Oriental stood. Dusk was falling, the sky lit up with a fire of color, as the four Scoobs pushed open the swinging doors and stepped into The Oriental, the roughest, coolest saloon in Tombstone...

Artist gives a low whistle and before the legionairres have him out of the bar the three of them are pinned under three very large and agressive looking dogs.

Romil stands on the back of an leginoaire knocked cold by striking a table on his way down. The third soldier looks up in terror at 250 pounds of great dane standing over him. Hulk certainly deserved his name.

Artist removes the soldiers weapons, handing them to Viridian for safe keeping (some of the smaller weapons find their way into her copious pockets.) He gently wakes the soldier under Romil.

"Okay boys, let them up." The dogs back off (grudgingly in Killer's case.) Artist conjures a spell and everyone in the bar turns to look as the soldiers scream in stark terror - each soldier is covered with asps. From the back of the bar someone says "Snakes, why'd it have to be snakes?"

As quickly as they appeared, the snakes vanish. The soldiers look at Artist in shock. "Now you will tell your superiors I put up a fight and you killed me."

"You legionairres will do this for three reasons. You will do it because I ask it. You will do it because you do not want to be punished for returning empty handed. And you will do it because if you don't, you will be covered by those snakes in your dreams every night for the rest of your lives. You will do this little thing for me, yes?"

The soldiers nod their heads and stumble over each other on their way out the door. Artist slumps back in his chair muttering about a pain in the neck. The dogs resume thier places under the table. Everyone else in the club feels a strong compulsion to leave him alone and pretend that none of this ever happened.

The four looked around the room. Wyatt Eyrp stood behind the bar, Doc Holliday sat at a nearby table, shuffling some cards. Two men, that looked suspiciously like Clint eastwood and Sam Elliot, stood at the bar, chatting over a drink. Bat Masterson was laughing at a joke told by a man who looked an awfull lot like William Shattner.

A few hours, and a few hundred dollars later, Drum sat there trying to hide his rising temper. It was becoming really annoying trying to ignore the buzzing coming from the earrings he had put in his pocket. The more Artist tried to get through on them, the more pissed drunked Drum became!

Mouse and Spyral had long since left the table. Spyral was trying his best to mingle with all the stars in the room. Mouse, obviouly extreamly drunk, was dancing ON the bar, to a song played by an equally drunk piano player.

Soon the entire bar was engulfed in a huge brawl. Spyral tried to make his way to the bar, but was stopped by the William Shattner look-a-like. He drew back his hand, but then fell to the floor as Mouse busted a whiskey bottle over the back of his head.

Sam had finished his break and resumed playing the piano. Viridian was making her way back to the table after getting rid of the guns when she suddenly found herself escorted to the dance floor and trying to remember the foxtrot in the arms of Rick.

“Since you folks wandered in here, the Germans have been buzzing about like a bunch of angry bees. And what the hell was that display with your pal there? I don’t want any deserters here...”

Vi shook her head. “Damned if I know... I never even knew she knew Harr...er, Indy.” She looked around the cafe. “Speaking of which, have you seen her?”

Artic squirmed out of Indy’s grasp and got away dodging through a crowd of drunken sailors and down a back hallway, toward the ladies room. When all else fails, go powder your nose. She never made it; another pair of hand grabbed her.

Now she found herself nose to nose with a decidingly less pleasant face. One that had a large ugly scar running down the side of it and the steeliest, coldest, pale blue eyes Artic ever had the misfortune to see.

Viridian returned to the table. Artist was happily eating his dinner, while Jila was petting the dogs. After a brief conversation, the women excused themselves and headed of to the ladies’ room.

Vi laughed. “Tap dancing is one thing, but the foxtrot! Lordy, it brought me back to Mrs. Johnson’s dancing cla....” She stopped. and grabbed Jila’s arm. “Artic...?”

The duo had come to the back hallway in time to see little Artickat being dragged down the hall to the back door by Major Strausser. Viridian started forward, but what was halted by Jila, who put her fingers to her lips and let loose the most piercing whistle Vi had ever heard. The music stopped. All conversation ceased. There was dead silence. In a voice only a mother could create, Jila bellowed at the Major. “HEY!!!! NAZI!!!! DROP THE KITTY!!!!! NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Artic scampered back to her friends. The Major disappeared out the back door. As ArtictheLucky was safely escorted toward the table by a watchful Jila, Vi was stopped by Indy. She flushed pink at the sight of him. “Your friend has something of mine,” he said.

Viridian finally found her words, but had a hard time wrapping her brain around the idea. “Artic? On a dig ? In Egypt? Artic’s idea of roughing it is going without room service.”

Indiana smiled grimly. “Well, she was the last one near the statue and after she disappeared, the statue was discovered missing.” He reached out a took a startled Viridian’s chin in his hand. “I mean to get what is mine, ma’am. That kitty is your friend and if she sticks with you and your pals, well then don’t be surprised if you see me on your trail.” He released her chin and walked away through the smoke filled room.

Artist placed his napkin on the table, leaned back and sighed. There was nothing quite like a delicious meal to make one feel better, that is until he looked up toward the door.

A woman stood there, silently scanning the crowd. Serene and lovely, with soft blonde hair, she took Artist’s breath away. He rose to his feet and stood there, helplessly staring at her. Her name was Ilsa Lund and she was looking for a way to escape the clutches of Nazi Germany.

Mouse, 6th, Spyral, and Drum made their way back to the hotel. Mouse and Spyral looped arms around each other in a valiant effort to keep vertical, while 6th and Drum walked a few feet behind them, amusedly watching the struggle.

"I'm positive, no electron!!" Mouse yelled, and erupted in peals of laughter at the old chemistry joke. Spyral got the punch line a second later and almost hit the ground, laughing hard. Drum looked at 6th, and they both grinned. This certainly had been a telling evening, with Mouse on the bar doing her "Coyote Ugly" impression and Spyral startstruck with all the legends arond him. Who knew Mouse could dance, much less on that little bar? She was bought so many drinks due to her performance, that it was a miracle she got down from the bar in one piece.

Mouse managed to misplace her key in one of her many pockets, and Spyral suggested she look for it in his room. Drum caught his eye, and the Angel gave an innocent shrug, but the wink he gave 6th totally shattered the act. "C'mon. I just don't think it's safe, especially here..." Spyral said to no one in particular. He gave 6th the scout's honor sign, and shut the door.

Mouse woke up in her clothes. *That's funny, I never sleep in my clothes at home...* she thought. She rolled over, just to have her head pound a few times, then mysteriously clear. *I guess no one ever has a hangover in the Classics.* In the process of rolling out of bed, she struck an arm. She froze, then winced, then hoped that whoever was sharing this particular room with her was wearing clothes too! She squinted her eyes and slowly turned around. Spyral was still asleep in his clothes, propped up against the headboard. Mouse exhaled. Mouse wondered if he had stayed like that all night! *Man, that's gonna hurt* she thought, *but it was sweet. Not many would do that for a girl...* As he stretched slowly, Mouse smiled at him, then headed off to the ladies room.

Meanwhile, in Rick's Cafe, Artist was curing 6th quietly for not picking up on her earring. "Why did I give it to her, if she's not going to use it?!?" he said to no one in particular.

the boat suddenly stopped, not because it had run out of gas, not because someone had turned it of, but because a giant scaled hand had reached out and grabbed it. The three scoobies and their new hostiges (for lack of a better word) turned around to see a giant Godzilla standing over them ankle deep in water(his ankles anyway).

"That could be embarassing." Bogie said. "My brother runs the place and we look so much alike that everyone gets us mixed up so I don't go in there much. But tell him I sent you and he'll help you find your friends."

entered the Downtown Steak Club, they could see that something had reciently happened there. Everybody was looking at one table and a waiter was appologising to the family eating there.

"Later lizard breath." Sweetiepie said. "We've got work to do. If we don't find Kitten soon, we'll have to go back to the longboat and tell Sixth and the others that we lost her. Do you want Rae mad at YOU? I don't."

Sun Aeryn and Chryse waited on the deck of the Longboat while Kaybe was down below getting her puppy Honey. “I wonder how everyone else is doing,” Chryse said as she leaned comfortably on the railing.

Sunnie turned her face to the sun. “Hmmmm, this is nice. I don’t know Chryse. I’m sure Jila and Vi are fine, since all they were going to do was to visit the Ghost and Mrs. Muir. The rest of them,” she turned to grin at her friend, “who knows?”

“Hey guys,” Kaybe called from below deck, “I have an idea!” Chryse and Sunnie came over to the hatch to see Kaybe coming up the steps not with just Honey, but also with the two enormous Rottweilers, Boris and Natasha. Her friends looked at each other dubiously. “Hey wait-- it ‘s a good idea!” Kaybe protested. “That way, each one of us has a dog and maybe while we’re out there, we can find a home for Boris and Natasha!”

Sunnie sighed and Chryse shrugged her shoulders. “Alright,” she said. “After all, we are here to find a home for the dogs.” She took Boris’ leash and Sunnie took Natasha’s.

Later, they found themselves being led by the dogs down the sidewalks of a busy 1930’s New York. This was not as easy as it looked; Chryse cursed under her breath the fact that every time they came through the movie screen, it was in evening dresses and high heels.

They followed the border path for a while, gratefully slipping off their high heels and walking barefoot in the grass, while the dogs sniffed happily around in the bushes. They did not notice right away when the design of the pathway began to change.

Kaybe bent down to smell a particularly lovely rose. When she stood up and looked at the horizon, she gave a little, startled cry. “Look! Look at the path!”

It had gone from brown pavers to yellow. The trio snatched up leashes and led the dogs down to the start of huge cornfield that was bisected by the yellow brick road.

Kaybe, Chryse and Sunnie exchanged grins and as one, stepped forward on the road into the corn field. Instantly, their costumes changed. They ALL wore blue and white gingham dresses, starched white pinafore aprons and bobby socks. In their hands, each one held a pair of ruby slippers. Whether or not they had worn long hair before, they now had their hair done up in neat braids with ribbons at the ends.

The Dorothy Triplets took one look at each other and burst out laughing. Boris, Natasha and Honey watched as their people collapsed onto the yellow brick road in hysterical laughter. The dogs, of course, were unchanged.

6th was sitting on the edge of the bed, a bright yellow flyer in one hand, a long black thin cigar in the other. She looked over at Drum as he sat up. "Nice shiner." she said, winking.

"What happened?" Drum asked. He vaguely remembered playing cards with Doc Holliday...where had the shiner come from? He stood up slowly, wincing more. Bruised ribs? How had he cut his arm? Was that another one on his cheek?

"Punched him right in the jaw." 6th shook her head, a smile playing on her lips. "He's where you got the black eye from. The ribs are probably from the chair Clint threw at you..."

"Well, until he gets another guitar, he'll be singing acapella. You bashed him in the head with it. Uh..." 6th counted on her fingers, "Alan Curtis, Wild Bill, Burt Lancaster, Gary Cooper, Michael Landon, Roy Rodgers, and I believe you took a poke at the Lone Ranger too. It was kindy wild in there, I'm sure I missed a few."

Drum sat with his head in his hands. "Just please, PLEASE tell me I didn't hit the Duke." He couldn't believe he'd gotten in a bar brawl, let alone with the other poeple involved in said brawl. Micheal Landon!

As if on cue, a wierd buzzing came from his pocket. Artist's earrings! Drum quickly rolled over, muffling the sound in the pillows on the bed. 6th didn't notice. She was engulfed in the flyer again, a wierd smile on her face.

"I found this under the door this morning. Seems there's a big party going on in the Comedy area of Classic Land." she said, "And look how's going to be there!"

"Now." 6th stood up, stretching. "I'm going to head down stairs. Get up and get the others and I'll meet you down there." she walked to the bedside table, picking up one of the bags of gold coin that Drum KNEW he'd had in his invisible sack. How did she...?

"Why not? You were asleep." 6th shrugged as she opened the door. "I'm going to go procure some transportation. I'll meet you out front." she left, closing the door behind her.

Drum sighed. Was it him or was 6th acting a little...strange? He got up, splashed some water on his face from the basin beside the bed, gathered up everything, and walked into the hall, to find Mouse and Spyral stepping out of their room.

They walked downstairs and outside, squinting in the bright sunlight. A disturbance up the street made them all look, as 6th came tearing around the corner, riding atop a huge stagecoach, drawn by six black horses. She reined them in, skidding to a stop in front of the three Scoobs.

"Where's the fun in that? I've always wanted to drive one of these things, and I want to get to the party today, not next year!" she said, helping him up onto the seat beside her, as Mouse and Spyral climbed into the stagecoach.

"Sure I do!" 6th called out merrily, muttering under her breath. "Not." Drum caught that last bit, and opened his mouth to suggest that maybe they find a driver, when 6th slapped the reins, yelling "Let's go! Heya!" The horses took off in a run, clouds of dust kicking up behind the stagecoach. Drum held on for dear life, watching 6th with her maniacal grin as she drove the horses with surprising grace, for someone he knew couldn't drive a stagecoach.

Ilsa laughs softly and turns the illusionist toward the door. "You don't have to appologize. You know what I have been dealing with. Here's your reason." She puts her cheek next to Artist's and points at the door.

A beautiful woman is standing just inside the door scanning the crowd - soft blonde hair - eyes which could melt the polar icecap. Artist barrels through the crowd toward her and catches Kara in his arms, swinging her around and kissing her. Kara nearly bursts into tears.

Kara sits at a table in an outdoor cafe watching with concern as Artist picks at a sumptuous breakfast. The dogs loungue under the table, gnawing bones Kara had procured for them when they had ordered breakfast.

Artist watches his fork push bits of omlet around his plate. "In order, Rae, Queen Maleficent, Rae, Shoeface's goons and the French Foriegn Legion." He looks up, gazes intently into Kara's eyes. "Shoeface wasn't kind to you. I see he took your earrings, too. No wonder I haven't been able to contact you."

"I haven't been able to contact 6th either. Distance shouldn't be a problem. She must not have the earrings on. I have a feeling that she is in danger - something's wrong."

"No - concern. It's just that - well, the aura's all wrong. It's a magic thing." Artist shakes his head. "So how do we get back to the longboat from here?"

Artist stands up, kisses Kara's hand and holds her hand as she stands. He offers her his elbow, smiles as she puts her hand in it. "Then we shall ride the Segueway Express! Two tickets to Chicago, please!"

There, perched on his right shoulder, calmly filing and buffing his fingernails, stood a microscopic version of Spyral. The little angle was dressed all in white and came complete with a tiny white halo. Slightly askew now that I look closer.

There, cooing at him, on his opposite shoulder, slithered a miniture version of Sixth Sense Dreamer, dressed all in red with skin near to match. She voluped, wiggled, and winked at him as she messaged his skin, a tiny finger tracing circles in a pleasent fashion.

Feminine chuckling. "Go get me a piece of steak Louie. You know you want to. Frell the kitten she's just a nuesience! Underfoot all the time...stealing YOUR toy duck!"

The little red Sixth actually scoffed this time."Which would you rather do Louie play with a kitten or eat a fat JUICY steak? Would kitten share her steak with you?"

Louis shook violently. He had to...he had to...he had to have them both! Yeah! First the steak, then the Kitten! He darted foreward and thru the kitchen door!

Thor sat at the table listening to the idle conversation around him...and quietly picking a few minds while he waited. His queen hadn't exactly forbidden that. Well not specifically had she?

A waiter was carrying a big serving tray to his table. Atop it was a large covered dish that just seeped the smell of a large steak! Thor loved his meats!

as he saw Louie eating his dinner. The waiter, startled to see a lizard on the meal he was delivering, shreiked and dropped the plate onto the table. Louie was flung off the plate and rolled off the table where the waiter, screaming at the top of his lungs, tried to stomp on him. Thor, startled to have his meal dumped almost in his lap, reared backwards and his widebrimmed hat got caught on the waiter's sleeve and torn off his head. The waiter, seeing his customer's face for the first time, howled with fear and ran for the kitchen. Everybody else in the reaturant, attracted by the noise, looked over, saw Thor and started to scream and run.

Sweetiepie swooped down, grabbed Louie in his claws, and followed Thor toward the kitchen. As they barrelled through the kitchen doors, the waiter, thinking he was being followed by monsters, screamed again and pounded out the back door into the alley behind the resturant. The kitchen staff followed leaving the three animals alone in a kitchen full of food.

(which she is never without) and pulled out a small yellow package. She pulled a tab, and it inflated quickly into a rubber dinghy. Ragnar, IQ, Kara, Jeff and Pedro hauled themselves into the dinghy, while Rae swam around and connected a few tubes. She pulled herself into the boat, just to be met with stares from the others.

"Yep!" Rae said proudly. "Three of you in the front, three in back, and then the front people, just shift your weight up and down. It works like this: water comes in the front tubes, the weight shifts, and it gets shot out the back tubes with ten times as much force. A vacuum forms, and more water is forced in the front, and so on. There's a rudder to steer, and the people in the back shift their weight in reverse of the people in front. Get it?"

Meanwhile, back on the boat, the dogs were getting rammy. The puppies were annoying the older dogs, the bigger dogs were annoying the smaller dogs, and the dog food supply was running low. The puppies looked for something to chew on, and found a sack of toys that Mouse had brought on board for Juno. There were not enough toys to go around, and as dogs really don't share well (Juno doesn't even know the concept) things were about to get ugly. If only there was a big, open field for them all to run and exercise a bit here in Classic land?!

In our last installment, Mouse inadvertently put Kara in with Rae, IQ and Ragnar. It was all just a dream... just a dream... just a dream...because Kara is with Artist nearing the Segueway train. Sorry about that!