Capturing the Personality Attitude

by Zig Ziglar

In the 1770s and 1800s, character was the foundation of American education and life. Then, at the turn of the 20th century, personality entered the picture. By the middle of this century, personality was the "in" thing. Today, the pendulum is swinging again, and people are going back to esteeming character and belittling personality. That's too bad, because personality is the sum total of all your personal qualities, and it's very important.

Virtually every time you say that so-and-so has "charisma," you're really talking about what a great personality he or she has. You mean that when he walks into a room, he has a presence—not just looks—that attracts attention from the people around him. Or you mean that when she walks into a crowded room, you soon hear a soft buzz coming from the area where she is.

Yes, having a great personality comes with certain innate advantages. One advantage is that people relate to you from the beginning of a relationship—an important advantage because making a permanent friend is impossible until you've made a temporary one. Making the sale before you get into the good graces of the person you're dealing with is difficult, too.

Another advantage to a pleasing personality is that when people like you, they're more likely to trust you. They're also less likely to lie to you or deceive you. When people genuinely like you, they're more than fair with you and may even help you to expand your business.

Naturally, you like to help your friends and want to do things with and for them. Who knows—some of them may even invite you to play a round of golf or go to dinner or to a ball game. Over the long haul, being a trustworthy person with a pleasing personality leads to good, long-term relationships.

The question is, how do you develop that pleasing personality? Here are some steps you can take:

• Smile when you see someone. You don't have to give a wide grin—just a pleasant, friendly smile.
• Speak in a pleasant, upbeat tone of voice. Talk to people as if they are really good friends of yours, even if they don't really fall into that category yet.
• Take a course in public speaking. Courses are offered in many schools and commercial ventures, such as my own company, Ziglar Training Systems, and Dale Carnegie. The ability to express yourself is of paramount importance and attracts favorable attention from many sources.
• Become a better-informed person and develop a sense of humor. I particularly encourage you to pick up a couple of good joke books. The Anguished English books, which take examples from schoolrooms, bloopers from churches, misprints from newspapers and so on, are the funniest joke books I've read. As I read them, I can't help but laugh. You can share the one-liners that you read with others, and you don't have to be a comedian to get a smile from them.

The process makes you a little more outgoing and friendly. When you combine that quality with the ability to express yourself before a group, your confidence grows and your competence increases. When you add the right attitude to confidence and competence, you've got a winning combination.

Personality opens the door and helps you to win friends and influence people at least temporarily, but character keeps those friends and maintains that influence. Adapted from Success for Dummies © 1998 by IDG Books Worldwide, Inc.