Communication is from Inside to Outside

by Denis Waitley

• We look forward to new contacts and friends. We talk easily with strangers. We look at people when talking to them or listening to them. We listen openly and carefully, even though we may disagree with what they are saying.
• We treat the other person as an equal. We listen to the seemingly dull and ignorant because they, too, have their story.
• We ask questions without imposing. We try to find special qualities in strangers and praise them sincerely. We draw strangers out by getting them to talk about themselves.
• We are easy to understand and easy to get along with. We don't assume what the other party's reaction will be to what we say, nor do we try to read his or her mind.
• We are confident in meeting strangers because we understand that, no matter how secure other people may seem, almost everyone is eager to meet new people to gain a friendship or for personal development. We realize that almost everyone has a normal tendency to harbor a little fear of rejection or of exploitation.
• When you and I face a potential friend, business prospect, or one of our own family members, our attitude is service-oriented, not self-oriented. Our concern is for the other person, not ourselves. When we have others' interests at heart, not just our own, they can sense it. They may not be able to put it into words why they feel that way, but they do. Conversely, people get an uneasy feeling when they talk with people who have only their own self-interests in mind.
• The tongue can lie, but the body acts instinctively, subconsciously, and honestly . . . people telegraph their intensions and feelings without even realizing what is happening. For that reason, you and I watch and listen to the "whole person."
• Successful communicators know that all of us hear and see differently. Since we tend to get back from people what we give them, it is best to project ourselves with simple, constructive, supportive ideas.