Winners: Positive Self-Projection

by Denis Waitley

You can always spot a winner when he or she first enters a room.

Winners project an aura; they have an unmistakable presence; they have a charisma which is disarming, radiating and magnetic. They project that warm glow that comes from inside out.

Most importantly, winners are naturally open and friendly. They know that a smile is the universal language that opens doors, melts defenses and saves a thousand words. A smile is the light in your window that tells others there is a caring, sharing person inside.

Winners are aware that first impressions are powerful and create lasting attitudes. They understand that interpersonal relationships can be won or lost in about the first four minutes of conversation.

Winners have learned through experience that—fairly or unfairly—people project and respond to a visceral or "gut level" feeling which is nearly instantaneous.

Many careers, top jobs, sales and other important transactions are decided very early in the interview or negotiation. Winners know that everyone projects and receives through a different encoding and decoding system . . . as if each of us had his own CB radio with no one else tuned in on his exact frequency.

Therefore, winners in life realize that the best they can hope for in the communication process with others is for a common level of general understanding.

There are some fundamental, consistent patterns that winning human beings follow in positive self-projection:

First, winners always look like winners at their best. They know that the clock is running, that the bird of time is on the wing and they feel that, since there is no time to lose, why not put their best foot forward.

Winners respect the fact that we as people, usually project on the outside how we really feel about ourselves on the inside. For example, when we aren't feeling well physically, we don't look well at the skin or surface level. And correspondingly, when we don't feel good about ourselves emotionally or mentally, we don't seem to make a very good impression with our looks, personal grooming and clothing habits.

Adapted from The Psychology of Winning © 1979 by Denis E. Waitley