Body Memories:
Memories can remain stored in our bodies in sensations, feelings, and physical responses.
Even if we do not know what took place; fragments of what we suffered live inside of us.
You may be assailed by an un-explained physical pain or arousal, fear, confusion or any other
sensory aspect of the abuse. You may physically re-experience the terror; your body may
clutch tight, or you may feel that you are suffocating and cannot breathe.
Often a touch, sound, or smell, a certain phrase, or a spoken word, the tone of a voice, a picture, gathering, use of alcohol & drugs, a massage, or even a written word will trigger body memories.
Sometimes the memories come while you are feeling safe and other times difficult
or painful things may cause the memories.
They also tend to come when the survivor becomes a parent and their own children
are at the age they were when the abuse took place.
Not everyone will know when a memory is going to start, but a lot of us do get warnings.
It could be a certain series of feelings that might clue you in. You may have frightening
dreams, suffer from poor sleep, your stomach may get tight, you may feel scared, angry, sad, or fearful, and anxiety might set in. Sometimes you may have been subject to an environment
of full of inappropriate boundaries, lewd looks, or sexually suggestive behavior.
Sometimes you may feel emotionally detached when your body remembers by feeling
the helplessness, the terror, the physical pain, and day or nightmares.
You may feel like you are being ripped open, crushed, or suffocated, and nauseous.
For some sexual arousal may also accompany your memories, and this may horrify you,
but arousal is a natural response to sexual stimulation regardless if it's welcome or not.
The good side is that the more you heal, the more you see the memories are literally
stored in our bodies, and they want to get out. You may not want them and
it may feel like it is not worth it, but for some of us it really is a healing process.
For others the less you remember the better and you have to learn how to cope with the memories, the flashes, the feelings. Come up with a plan, what will you do if you start to remember.
Chase the unwanted memories out of your head, out of your body and out of your life.
Remember these simple guide lines:
1) Your first allegiance must be to yourself.
2) Deal with things when you want to and you are ready.
3) Honor your own strength and feelings.
4) Do this only for yourself.
5) Use grounding exercise.
6) Use physical exercises.
7) Reach out and contact one other person.
8) Breathe and listen to comforting relaxation music etc.
9) And most important of all
it was not your fault,
you did not ask for the abuse,
you did not deserve the abuse.
And you are a very strong person to have made it this far in life,
do not let it get the best of you now.