Telling computer guys that they need to have permission to quote things is like having to tell little children about death.
Ted Nelson

640K ought to be enough for anybody.
Bill Gates, 1981

UNIX was never designed to keep people from doing stupid things, because that policy would also keep them from doing clever things.
Peter Archer

We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated.

"Intel Inside" is a Government Warning requied by Law.

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.
Mitch Ratcliffe

Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
Jeff Raskin

UNIX is an operating system, OS/2 is half an operating system, Windows is a shell, and DOS is a boot partition virus.
Peter H. Coffin

If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
Robert Cringely

People says Microsoft payed 14 million dollars for using the Rolling Stones song "Start me up" in their commercials. This is wrong. Microsoft payed 14 milliond dollars only for a part of the song. For instance, they didn't use the line "You'll make a grown man cry".

"MS Windows User?"
"Yes..."
"Good. Line on the left, one cross each."

If you receive an e-mail with a subject of "Badtimes," delete it immediately WITHOUT reading it! This is the most dangerous E-Mail virus yet. It will re-write your hard drive. Not only that, but it will recalibrate your refrigerator's coolness setting so all your ice cream goes melty, drink all your beer, make you fall in love with a penguin, give you nightmares about circus midgets, leave the toilet seat up, kill all your ...
Badtimes Virus Alert

Have you crashed your Windows today?

UNIX is the answer, but only if you phrase the question very carefully.

One of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.
Robert Firth

EASY TO INSTALL = Difficult to install, but instruction manual has pictures.

It's like being in a library where someone has scattered all the books on the floor, attached them together with threads and you are in the dark.
MorningSide, CBC Radio, about the WWW

DOS 6: Because there aren't enough problems in the world already.

As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.

One computer is a problem. A computer network is a large problem. The internet is the world's largest problem.

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
Rich Cook

To err is human, to really foul things up requires a computer.

The computer is mightier than the pen, the sword, and usually, the programmer.

Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.

Virus check complete: All viruses functioning normally.