When I die, I hope to go to Heaven, whatever the Hell that is.

Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those I had to kill because they pissed me off.

If you can�t lower Heaven, raise Hell.

When I die, if I have a choice, I'm going to choose hell. I mean, come on! Think about it! All the interesting people are going to be in hell!
Gilian Evans

Nietzsche is Dead
God

How do you play religious roulette?
You stand around in a circle and blaspheme and see who gets struck by lightning first.

A booming voice says, "Wrong, cretin!", and you notice that you have turned into a pile of dust.

In heaven all the interesting people are missing.

Death is God's way of telling you not to be such a wise guy.

And out of the chaos, a voice spoke: "Smile and be happy, for it can always be worse".
And I smiled, and I was happy, and it did get worse.

The worst moment for an atheist is when he feels grateful and has no one to thank.
Wendy Ward

I don�t believe in atheists.
God

If you talk to God, you are praying. If God talks to you, you have schizophrenia.
Thomas Szasz

Modern society without organised religion is like a crazed maniac without a chainsaw.

No man with any sense of humour ever founded a religion.
Robert G. Ingersoll

If God doesn�t destroy Hollywood Boulevard, he owes Sodom and Gomorrah an apology.
Jay Leno

Jesus Saves....Passes to God....Shoots!!!.....Scores!!!!.....

Jesus is Coming - Look Busy