Unless you've been living under a rock for all of your life, you're bound to have heard of the story of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Sure, nobody really understood it. But we all knew the basics. Some doctor took some stuff and then he turns into an evil version of himself, Mr. Hyde. Similarly to the Incredible Hulk, but less violent and more evil. And older.
Well, someone thought it would be a good idea to make a game out of this. Yeah, it was. But there was one flaw with the game: It was crap. No, really... let me plead my case.
Apparently, Dr. Jekyll is both the unluckiest and the most hated man on the entire planet. He has to contend with birds that seem obsessed with endlessly carpet bombing him with excrement. He can't go to the park or even walk down the street without being attacked by these birds. He also gets spiders that drop on him and never ending fields of bees that make Jekyll's frighteningly slow movement even more tedious, as he must wait for the bee to fly in front of him, swarm about for a while and then fly off. Dogs randomly charge at him. But it's not just the animals that hate him. EVERYONE hates him. Like the purple jackass:
I HATE THE PURPLE GUY ON THE RIGHT SO MUCH...
The Purple Jackass sucks. Big time. They are everywhere! They are like stalkers or something. Wherever you go, you'll find this guy on your heels. He walks up to you very slowly. He makes all the docile people on the street suddenly charge towards you and hurt you. When he finally trundles towards you, he puts a bomb in front of you and runs away. When the bomb goes off, it hurts you a lot, and usually turns you into Mr. Hyde. This bomb only hurts you, too. If it's next to a spider, and blows up, the spider lives. If anything except Dr. Jekyll crosses it's path, they remain unphased and unscathed. Go to hell, you great big purple ass.
Oh yeah, did I mention that Dr. Jekyll sucks? He does! He walks slowly. REALLY slowly. And his only "weapon" is a cane. But the thing is, the cane doesn't do anything. All it can do it be used to assault people who aren't even a threat to you, and when you do so, you get slightly injured. WHY?!
You may turn into Mr. Hyde sometime. When this happens, you'll just be confused. It becomes night time, and you are suddenly attacked by an army of monsters (three furry jumping things and some assorted... other things). You are forced to walk, and it even automatically jumps over obsticles such as steps, and the 5000 bridges you come accross. After careful punching and punching fireball ATTACKS, you turn back into the Doctor. Some creatures drop money. The only other source of income as Jekyll is breaking into women's houses, where some of the life bars are restored and they either give you a load of money, or take most of it away. I don't understand the logic in this. You can go into just about any house, but only for 3 seconds at a time. This is sorta useful for avoiding the purple jackass's never ending barrage of bombs.
You get attacked by some punk kid who keeps shooting you with his catapult. And no game would be complete without a totally random rolling object. An infinite amount of rolling barrels rolls towards you later on. They don't come from any particular source, they never lose momentum, even though they are rolling on flat, non sloping surfaces and they suck. The nearest thing this game has to bosses are gravediggers who flick dirt at you, bird-shooter who make birds fall in your area, and opera women who throw painful clouds of musical notes at you, only to be stopped when you give them money to stop singing. REALLY! Eventually the game becomes just about impossible. Barrels roll at you non stop, and the purple jackass comes at you constantly, dropping bombs that are almost impossible to avoid. Then you have to avoid an overhead opera woman throwing more music at you. Let me remind you that this is supposed to be Jekyll and Hyde.
I haven't completed this game yet, and I doubt I ever will. If I do, I'll tell you the lame ending. I know it's lame, even though I've never seen it. It's just an extremely well educated guess.
IRRITATION LEVELS:
MUSIC: 4
GAMEPLAY: 9
PLOT: 10
HERO(INE): 9
ENEMIES: 10
FAITHFULNESS: 10
BOSSES: 8
CONFUSION: 10
DIFFICULTY: 8
GRAPHICS: 4
TOTAL: 82%