But unlike most website reviewers, we're not confining ourselves just to theatrical movies or to music. And maybe we don't have the quite same spin as everyone else, especially since we're not confining this to a single reviewer either. Come back as often as you like, if there's a new review, it's probably a new subject, and almost certainly a topic near and dear to the author's heart -- or something of an offense against that person's sensibilities.
The current review is below. Eventually there'll be an archive of previous commentaries.
Topic format is as follows: Line One-- Title being reviewed, format, release date (day/month/year -- month/year -- or just year, depending on the author.). Line Two-- author information (possibly including e-mail link, possibly not) and date of review. Line Three-- review title.
Doing It Right, or Wrong?
Is it just me, or are they more likely to do it right when they make a TV show based on a movie than when they do it the other way around?
During the 1990's, we've seen a string of TV-shows-turned-Movies ranging from The Addams Family through Leave It To Beaver and The Brady Movie right up to The Avengers. Some of the early ones weren't that bad; The Addams Family and Batman both sparked sequels, although only the first was smart enough to stop after only one theatrical sequel (probably due to the death of Raul Julia). Most were mediocre at best, and a few were outright obnoxious.
Two of the most recent variations on the TV-to-movies theme were 1997s The Saint (Paramount Pictures;Val Kilmer, Elisabeth Shue; 118 minutes) and this year's The Avengers. For those of you either too young to remember or too sheltered to have been exposed to the pulp novels of the 1930s (some of which are still in occasional reprint), Simon Templar (aka The Saint) originally appeared in print in 1928 as the fictionally creation of the late Leslie Charteris, and was an ex-patriate American living predominanty in England where he got his kicks by playing what Charteris called "a modern-day Robin Hood" -- that is, the Saint was a con artist, a cheat, a second-story man, or whatever else it took to get his haul, but he only played the game against the bad guys. There were theatrical movies in the 1930s and 1940s, but by 1966, the role of Simon Templar belonged to a pre-Bond Roger Moore, and the show aired regularly for a time on American TV.
The Avengers first appeared on British television in the early 1960s (and soon migrated to America under a deal between ABC and the BBC). John Steed (Patrick McNee) was there even from the earliest episodes, although few Americans have actually seen the first season, which was predominantly played live and partnered Steed with a Dr. David Keel (Ian Hendry). Later seasons featured various young ladies at Steed's side, namely Kathy Gale (Honor Blackman), Emma Peel (Diana Rigg), and Tara King (Linda Thorson). The series' next appearance was in the late 1970's in it's new incarnation as The New Avengers, with Purdy (Joanna Lumley) and Mike Gambit (Gareth Hunt) battling the bad guys at Steed's (still McNee) side. Whatever incarnation of the show you may have the opportunity to see, the theme of the day was rather more like The Saint meets the Twilight Zone than like James 007 Bond.
All of this by way of background for those of you who never saw either series originally.
The present incarnation of The Avengers is a far cry from the recent version of The Saint. Kilmer and Shue certainly had chemistry throughout, and there were a good many references to the old books/TV series that worked both as in-jokes for those familiar and as plain good storyline for those who were just meeting Simon Templar for the first time. The end-credits voice-over by Roger Moore as the radio announcer lends further connection to the TV series, and a certain air of expectation a-la James Bond Will Be Back for all involved.
I wish I could say the same for The Avengers. One London reviewer opined that Ralph Fiennes and Uma Thurman lacked sufficient chemistry to set a petrol (gasoline) tank alight, and the man was dead on the money. This movie looks like it was written and directed by people who'd seen possibly all of 1 episode of the TV series apiece and were much more familiar with James Bond. The usually quirky plots of the series were never so overblown as this; even Sean Connery couldn't do a lot to save this one with the material he was given. Given the chance to play a Scot for perhaps the first time in his career, he ends up playing a badly written caracature of a mad doctor who merely happens to be a Scot (August DeWynter); no amount of playing it over-the-top (fun as it may have been) can really save the picture from being basically as drab as the British mining towns of the early 20th century..
Most of the fun (such as it is) in this
picture comes from watching the special effects. Fiennes isn't so much
wooden as merely walking through his lines half asleep; and while Thurman
might have the spark to play one of Steed's colleagues properly, Emma Peel
she ain't. Accents come and go, and the "How now, brown cow," line
as delivered by Thurman is such a far cry from Diana Rigg's version of
it that it completely destroys the effect for those of us familiar with
the ABC/BBC color episodes. Patrick McNee's brief appearance -- or is that
disappearance -- as one Colonel I. (apparently for "Invisible") Jones is
probably the high point of the picture; he's the voice of the department
archivist who complains that he seldom even sees the tea trolly as no one
seems to know he's there. Certainly his performance is much livelier than
Fiennes' in that scene, and considerably more interesting.
All in all, this one is almost enough
to make you pray they just go back to making sequels.
Rated: PG-13
Running Time: 91 minutes
My call: If you've seen the TV series, don't bother. If not, see it at a rush-hour or matinee, if at all.
Blows up Reel Good Factor: M (of a possible MMMMM)
Wit: Little to none. Mostly rehashed lines and/or cliches.
Kinkiness Factor: Two Emmas catfighting on a roof. DeWynter drugs and tries to seduce the real Emma.
Champagne: Only mentioned at the end.
Fights: Steed attacked repeatedly while on a morning stroll. Steed and Emma fence in a tailor shop. The Evil Emma bashes Steed unconscious. The two Emmas fight on the roof. Steed takes on a group of young toughs in an alley. Emma fights one of the toughs on the rigging of one of DeWynter's weather control devices. Steed fences with DeWynter.
1990's Concerns: The Weather
Strangeness: DeWynter has a portrait of Emma in his manse, which is never explained. The Bad Emma evidently works for DeWynter, but is never sufficiently explained in the movie.
Eccentrics: DeWynter.
Notes: In the series, a man in a wheelchair known only as "Mother" ran the department Steed works for. Here we have the introduction of "Father", his second-in-command, a blind woman who proves to be in league with DeWynter. She may have a one-sided romantic attraction to him. Likewise, Mother's aide clearly has an eye on Steed, much too reminiscent of Connery/Moore-era Moneypenny in the Bond films.