Chapter 11

Dinner was a boisterous affair as the youngsters, including McGowan, shouted to be heard above each other while recounting their best times on the obstacle course. Each one thought that he was the ultimate winner, although both of the older boys had to admit that Xenan, for as young as he was, kept up with them pretty well. The adults of the group sat back and let their children run themselves out of energy with their telling and retelling of their successes. By the time dinner was nearly over, Xenan was looking sleepy, and trying his best not to yawn. Ephiny however had noticed her son almost nodding off at the table, and decided it was a good time to put him to bed. McGowan also excused himself; although his dad knew where he was, it was getting dark, and the boy knew he should be getting to his own house.

Kaliepus looked around at the happy, relaxed faces encircling him around the table. He couldn't remember the last time he had ever seen Xena in such ease with her surroundings. The leader almost didn't want to break the mood, but they still had tomorrow's activities to discuss with his son.

"Solan," the centaur started. "When you and the boys were at the course, I've been talking to your mom and Gabrielle. Tomorrow I'm going to perform a binding ceremony for them; then, they will really be part of our family. As my son, you'll be expected to stand by me during the ceremony."

"Really? I haven't been to many bindings before, Uncle. Do I get to do anything during it?"

Xena reached under the table and squeezed Solan's hand. For such a young boy who had faced so much in the last quarter moon, he was still willing to show love for the important people in his life. Remembering her own childhood after the destruction of Cortese's army, she realized how much better off the lad was here with the centaurs, and knew she had made the right choice in leaving him in their care so long ago. Solan was so open and honest with his feelings; with a start, Xena recognized that of all the people in the world, her boy reminded her most of her lover. Both had a tremendous ability to trust, even after being hurt in the past. Even through the worst disappointments, both were willing to try again. She closed her eyes as she felt the love the two had for her. She smiled to herself before Kaliepus' voice broke her thoughts.

"Yes, Solan, there is something for you to do during the ceremony. As part of the family, you are also part of the binding," Kaliepus saw the grin on the boy's face, and then grew a bit more serious. "And there's something else we want to talk to you about. Both your mom and I think you're old enough to make your own decisions. After the binding, Xena, Gabrielle, and Ephiny will be leaving. You, too, can go with them if you want. Or you could stay here with me...but either way, the decision is yours." It was the hardest thing for the centaur to say, but he knew he wouldn't be able to live with himself if he denied the boy his mother after he had finally found her. He was sure that Solan would leave; it was hard not to notice the hero worship in the youngster's eyes. In fact, he was already imaging life without the lad at his side; he knew he would be lonely, but convinced himself that if he paid more attention to his duties as leader, he could overcome his son's absence.

Solan had never expected that he would have his uncle's blessing to leave the village. It had been the only home he had known for as long as he could remember. In a small voice, he asked, "Do I have to decide now?"

"No, honey," Xena replied, still holding onto his hand. "This is too important a decision for you to make right now. Your uncle and I want you to think about it. We want you to find out what is right for you."

Glancing at Kaleipus, the youngster saw him nod in agreement. "Think about it, Solan. It's a big decision."

"Ok, I will," the boy said around a yawn. "But I think now I'll get to bed."

"I think all of us should. It's a big day for two of you tomorrow," Kaliepus added as first Solan, then Gabrielle and Xena, rose from the table, and started heading to Solan's room. "Wait a minute. What do you two think you're doing?"

"Going to bed," Gabrielle answered, a questioning look on her face. "I think we're all tired."

"Well, you can't stay together the night before your binding. Gabrielle, you'll have to stay with Ephiny and Xenan." Before either could argue, Kaliepus added, "It's part of the ceremony. You each have one more night alone to think about your lives apart...and what your life together will be like. To let you see what you're leaving behind, and what you are accepting."

"But we get to kiss each other good-night, right, Kaliepus?" the bard asked hopefully.

"Sorry." This last statement was met by two frustrated groans. "Well, just think how much better your first kiss tomorrow will be."

'If I live that long,' thought the blonde as she made her way to the bedroom on the opposite side of the house. She turned before entering the room. "Good-night, everyone. I hope tomorrow comes quickly."

After entering their room, Xena helped Solan with his boots as he got ready for bed. When he was almost finished, she blew out the candle that had been left for them, and removed her leathers, getting down to her shift. She climbed into bed after him, and lying on her side, wrapped her arms around her boy.

"Mom?"

"Yes, Solan?"

"Do you really want me to live with you?"

"Of course," she whispered as she hugged the child into her. "But I want you to make the decision yourself. Do you think you want to travel with Gabrielle and me?"

"I think so...you could teach me so much. But what about Uncle?"

"I know he'd miss you...probably the whole village will."

"I didn't think about that. I don't know..."

"Honey," Xena began. "We both love you. That's the important part. Always remember that."

"Ok," the boy yawned.

"And if you decide to stay with your uncle, I'll understand. I really do love you."

"Hmmm," Solan mumbled as he yawned again. "I love you too."

"I know," the warrior told him as she hugged him a little closer, just as both of them fell asleep.

Xena, already dressed in her leathers and armor, knelt beside the bed and ruffled her boy's hair. "Hey, sleepy-head. Time to get up."

"So soon?" the boy questioned even though he saw the sun shining through the cloths he used to cover his window. Sitting up, he rubbed the sleep from his eyes, again reminding the dark haired woman of her lover. "I usually get to sleep a little longer."

"I know, but Ephiny has already come to get me to prepare for the joining. And Kaliepus wants to go over part of the ceremony with you," she said as she stood up and headed for the door.

"Mom?"

"Yes, Solan?"

"If I went with you, what would it be like...really like?"

The warrior made her way back to the pallet and sat down next to her son. She wrapped an arm across his shoulders, and drew him a little closer to her. "I'm not going to lie to you, Solan. Most people would think it's one big adventure after another. In fact, when Gabrielle and I first met, that's the reason she left her family...her home. She wanted the excitement that a little farming community couldn't give her. But she left in the middle of the night when her parents were asleep. She didn't give them a chance to tell her what I'm going to tell you now." Xena paused. Although she didn't want to frighten the boy off, she also wanted to be absolutely sure he knew what his future would be like. "It's dangerous being out on the road. We never know if the group of people walking towards us is going to be friendly or not. Many times Gabrielle and I avoid the most common roads so we don't have to chance meeting someone who might want to start something. And Solan, there are a lot of people out there who do. Now let me ask you something...you told me last time I was here that you didn't want to be a warrior. Is that still true?"

The boy nodded. "Uncle didn't really want me to be a warrior. Plus I wasn't very good when I would practice with the other kids. They were always better than me with swords and staffs. I kept trying...because I didn't want the son of Borias to be a disappointment," he finished, and hung his head, not wanting his mother to see his lack of accomplishment either.

Xena grasped the boy's chin and brought it up so she could look him in the eye. "Solan, not everyone has to be a warrior. What do you want to do? What do you like to do?"

"Well, four moons ago, a travelling bard named Homer came through the village. He had the best stories! He could tell funny stories, or tales of the gods...but I liked the ones about heroes the best. I thought...maybe I could write stories...about the centaurs."

'So much like Gabrielle,' Xena thought while she looked at her son. "Have you told anyone this? What does your uncle think?"

The boy sighed. "I haven't told him. I wrote few stories, but I don't think they're any good. At first the words seem right...and then they look stupid. I don't think I could show them to anyone."

"Solan, show them to Gabrielle. She's one of the best bards I know, and she even studied with Homer for awhile. I'm sure she would be happy to help you...you know how much she likes stories too."

"I don't know..."

A knock sounded on the bedroom door. "C'mon, Xena we have to hurry up."

"Ready in a minute, Eph. I'll meet you at the bathing hut."

Xena turned back to her son. "I have to get ready for the binding soon, Solan. But I need to tell you a few more things about being a warrior on the road...you never know where you're going to sleep. You never know when you're going to eat, or if you can catch something to eat. We don't have a permanent place that we can call 'home'...but there are good things, too. Gabrielle and I have helped a lot of people. And we also have lots of friends...the Amazons, your centaur nation, Hercules and Iolus. I know this probably doesn't make your decision any easier. But I want you to know what it will be like, if you want to join us, ok?" Xena got up from the pallet and impulsively kissed her son on the forehead.

"Thanks, mom."

The tall woman smiled at her boy. She didn't know if he was thanking her for the advise, or for the kiss she had just gave him, but decided that it didn't matter. "Well, ok. I can't keep Ephiny waiting any longer. See you in a little bit?"

Solan was happy about his mother's upcoming binding. "Sure," he smiled.

Xena left Kaleipus' house and headed for the bathing hut. It was dark and steaming once she got inside, with only a few candles for illumination. Even though the air was clouded, Xena knew Ephiny was in there with her. "Ok, what's the big rush?"

"Sheesh, for someone who's going through a binding ceremony today, you'd think you'd be a little more eager."

"Oh, I am eager, Eph. But just how long does a bath take?" Xena didn't know if she liked the chuckle she heard.

"It's much more than a bathing, warrior." Ephiny came up behind her and loosened the armor at Xena's back, while the other woman worked on taking off her armbraces.

"And Gabrielle let you perform this ritual on her earlier already?" Xena asked incredulously, while pulling off her left boot.

"Gabrielle trusts her regent," Ephiny paused for affect, and ignored the snort of laughter. "And so should you."

"Uh huh."

The last boot was off, and Ephiny slid Xena's shift off her body. "Now get in the tub."

The water was warm and relaxing as Xena settled into the deep wooden tub. While washing herself, she noticed that the majority of the bruising had healed, with only a few yellowish spots on her thighs reminding her of her ordeal. She sighed contentedly as she felt Ephiny wash her hair, usually a chore she only allowed Gabrielle to do. After a bucket of fresh warm water was poured carefully over her clean hair, she rose from the tub. Xena toweled herself off, paying close attention to get as much moisture out of her dark locks as possible. Just as she was reaching for her leathers, she saw Ephiny holding a large bowl of what looked like brown goo.

"What's that?"

"It's for the binding ceremony."

"Eph, I could guess that since you're standing there holding it. What's it for?"

"I have to put it on you." A smirk played across the amazon's face.

"After I just took a bath???"

"All right. Everyone here who has ever been married in a Centaur Binding Ceremony, please raise your hand now." Ephiny continued smirking while balancing the big bowl in one hand and raising the other. "Ok, that settles it. Now...are you ready Xena?"

"I don't think I'm going to like this Ephiny."

The regent noticed that Xena had reverted back to using her full name instead of the more familiar 'Eph,' but decided to ignore it as she pushed her right hand into the goo.