Chapter 10

Xena didn't look up, even when she heard the door open to Kaliepus' home. Instead, she continued to stare into the cold remains of the tea she had made to keep herself busy, but didn't really want. She sat alone in the hut; Ephiny and her son had decided to accompany the leader on his rounds of the village, getting to know more of Kaleipus' centaurs. But more than being alone, Xena was terribly lonely. Although her love for the bard knew no bounds, the warrior felt as if she existed in a very small world, one that contained just she and Gabrielle. Most of the time, Xena was very happy being able to turn to Gabrielle for love, support, and comfort, but unconsciously, she was always hoping that she could at one time claim Solan into their small circle. That wish looked impossible now. The boy was nowhere to be found, and wouldn't talk to her anyway if she approached him. Knowing from the slight movement at the door that Gabrielle stood there waiting patiently to get her acknowledgement, she felt one tear slip through her stoic resistance and slide silently down her cheek. Xena wrapped her palms around the cold tea mug, and still without glancing away from the seemingly interesting sight of mug and table, sighed sadly. "How can I tell my son that I love him, and didn't mean to hurt him?"

"You just did," was the quiet reply from her lover.

Xena stood up in one fluid motion, and in her haste, nearly knocked over the bench she had been sitting on. She didn't bother wiping away the earlier tears as a few more slipped past her defenses. Somehow, Gabrielle had managed to convince Solan to talk to her, but the boy would not make eye contact with the taller woman. Instead, he (so like his mother), found inanimate objects suddenly compelling, insisting on memorizing in exact detail the patch he had put on his right boot the previous summer.

The blonde stood behind the boy, her hands resting lightly on his shoulders not in force, but in comfort. She bent down and whispered in the small ear, "I know it's hard, sweetie. Remember that she does love you."

Solan slowly looked up and found blue eyes, masked in pain, watching him. Before he had a chance to speak, Xena moved to face him, and knelt in front of the youngster. Without physically touching him, but holding him with her eyes, Xena stumbled over the first words she got to say to her son, not the child of Borias and some nameless woman. "Solan...I'm so...sorry...that I never let you know the truth. It's my fault that you're hurting, and if I could change that, I would. I know you must hate me," Xena's eyes closed as she saw tears start to form in Solan's eyes, and knew she was right. "I can only hope that one day you will want to talk to me, because...I love you."

Xena waited for the boy to bolt for the door, but instead something unexpected happened. The last words she had spoken broke Solan's inaction. He instinctively reached forward, and wrapped his arms around his mother's neck, and buried his face in the dark tresses at her throat. Xena cautiously put her own arms around the boy's back, and when he made no attempt to back away, the warrior tightened the embrace. "I love you, Solan. I really do," she whispered to the youngster, as she rubbed his small back up and down. She could feel him silently crying, but had no idea how to stop the tears.

"I've missed you," the boy finally told her. Miraculously, Xena felt her intimate world increase by one. At last, she had a son.

The first thing Kaleipus noticed after he walked through the door was a huge grin on Solan's face. He and Gabrielle were chatting and sharing the last of the nutbread that the boy had found among the stores of his uncle's food supplies. Xena seemed happy to sit next to the boy at the table, a small smile on her face as she listened to the easy banter of her two companions. When Solan looked up and saw the old centaur in the doorway, he rushed up to give him a hug. "Uncle! Gabrielle's been telling us all sorts of stories about the Amazons! Did you know that she's only been their queen for about a year?"

The leader was at once surprised by the lack of tension in the room, and happy that Solan seemed to be coming to terms at last with the events of the past few days. "Yes, son. She's one of the main reasons that the Amazons are now our allies," Kaliepus said and ruffled the boy's hair. He glanced briefly at Xena, who nodded silently in return, telling him that things were working out between them. "I'm glad you're not upset with us anymore. You know we never meant to hurt you."

"I know. Mom and Gabrielle explained things to me." The boy squeezed his uncle one more time and then returned to the table to sit next to the two women. He popped the last bite of nutbread in his mouth just as Xenan raced into the house, followed by Ephiny.

The small centaur marched up to Solan, and started tugging on his sleeve. "Warrior."

Solan laughed at the serious expression on Xenan's face. "I'm not a warrior, Xenan. I'm just a kid."

"Warrior," the little centaur insisted, and tugged a little harder on the boy's leather tunic.

"I think he wants you to run the obstacle course with him, Solan. My little guy can't seem to get enough of it ever since he's discovered it," Ephiny explained when she saw the questioning look on the lad's face.

"Well, sure, I could do that. If it's ok with you, Uncle, and...um...Mom," the boy said shyly.

Kaliepus nodded his approval to Xena, letting the woman have the final say in the matter.

"Sure, honey. But don't forget to come back in two candlemarks for supper," she told him while Xenan waited impatiently at the door.

As soon as the little centaur heard that they could go, he flew out the door, followed immediately by Solan. "Hey, Xenan, wait up! Let's go get my friend McGowan...he'll want to race us too!" the boy shouted as he chased after the quick little kid who had the biggest smile on his face.

"Well," Ephiny grinned at the company she found herself in. "It looks like things really are working out for everyone." Gabrielle moved closer to her partner and held her hand under the table as Ephiny took a seat across from them.

Kaleipus moved closer into the room. "But there are still some things we need to discuss, and some decisions we have to make," he said to the three women.

Ephiny stood up, ready to leave. "I'll give you guys some privacy."

"No, no, that's not necessary, Ephiny. I want your opinion on this too," the leader said and helped himself to an apple from a bowl on the table. "Danaus and I have discussed this, and we both agree that it's a good idea. Now I need to hear your thoughts. A lot of...," Kaliepus paused as he thought of the best word to use, "misunderstandings...have happened lately, mostly because we are one family, but with no formal ties to each other. He and I thought the best way to change this is if Xena and Gabrielle were married in a Centaur ceremony." He stopped talking, waiting to see what kind of reaction he would get from the women. When no one objected right away, he continued. "This way, Lorenz or anyone else will never be able to say again that Xena is not part of our Nation. Another benefit is that the ties to the Amazon Nation would be that much stronger. And truthfully, I've learned to appreciate our Amazon sisters," Kaliepus said proudly as he nodded his head towards Ephiny.

Xena squeezed Gabrielle's hand under the table, and felt her lover's eyes on her as she looked at their centaur friend. "And who," her lips quirking into a smile, "would be doing the ceremony?" she asked, although she had a pretty good idea what the answer would be.

"Let's just say it will be a 'family affair'," the leader answered. "And of course, Ephiny, I would welcome your help in this. That is, if everyone approves of the idea."

The regent caught Gabrielle's eye and winked. "Well, let me see...my Queen gets to marry one of the best warriors in the business, plus we further extend out diplomatic ties with the Centaur Nation. Sounds like a good idea to me. And I would be pleased to help out as much as I can," she added as she grasped the centaur's forearm in acceptance. "How could we lose?"

"And another excuse for a party, right, Eph?" Gabrielle reminded the woman, while the other laughed at their inside joke.

"Great! I was hoping we would all agree. Now there's one other thing that we should come to an agreement on. What do we do about Solan's future?" Kaliepus knew this would be the hardest part of the discussion. He desperately wanted Solan to remain in the village with him, but Xena was his mother. He wouldn't do anything to stop her if she chose to take the boy with her when she and the others left. He had raised the boy the best he could, but he wouldn't argue with Xena if she wanted to start being a real mother to the boy.