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| Why you shouldn't | Why you should |
| You could
shoot your eye out
You could catch a cold You could marry her My arm is not You could chuck wood That is not an argument Aerosol helps Bald Eagles Regrets, Regrets, Rejects The Triangle isn't an Instrument Roy Clark is the Anti-Christ Only 157 Shopping days to Xmas Fnord |
You could
shoot your eye out
Vomiting isn't that bad Vote Dole for Pineapple BMW isn't a cable channel You could be 1 of the lucky 25 It's only a dollar It's only 4.3 Trillion Dollars Your hair could grow back Yum, tastes like chicken Eternal Salvation, or a lawsuit Life, Liberty, Free Cheese Dronf |
| PLEASE SUPPORT WORKING MOTHERS |
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| Marx: That's funny, I went blind back in
'62.
Jung: You are full of shit. Marx: No, I distinctly remember I went blind. Jung: That was the time you forgot how to open you eyes. Jesus: What the hell are you guys talking about. Marx: Fuck you, you're just some friggin opiate created by the upper class to continue the subjugation of the proletariat! Jung: No, he's created from childhood trauma that is caused from negligent parenting. Jesus: All right, I've had enough. You two assholes die, and I let you crash at my pad. Get the fuck out. Marx: Ungrateful opiate! Jung: Bedwetter! Jesus: GET THE FUCK OUT!!! Marx: You're kind and benevolent, you won't hurt us. Jung: My own unconscious imaginings cannot harm me. Jesus: DAD! Marx: Oh shit. Jung: Gotta go . . . Satan: Hey, how you guys doing? Jesus: You're not my father. Satan: He's busy, doing the succubi . . if ya know what I mean. Marx: Hey, could you autograph this . . . Satan: Shut up, you still owe me for getting you laid once. Marx: I remember that! Did you know that I went blind back in '62? Satan: This is pathetic, hey let's get some nails and hang God's kid on the wall! Jung: Okay. Satan: No, not you. You give me the creeps, why aren't you in hell with Freud? Jung: I never had sex with my pet schnauzer. Marx: I did! Satan: Then why aren't you in hell? Marx: There is no hell. Satan: Then there is no heaven. Marx: Good point, that... Jung: Where did Marx go? Satan: I ate him. Jesus: No you didn't. His lack of faith in Heaven has forced him into the formless void that the universe was created from. Satan: You've been reading too much of that Bible shit. The Universe came in a "Build Your Own Universe Kit: Assemble in 5 days or less." Jesus: It took seven! Satan: Ain't my fault your old man is a fool. Eris: (Throws down a golden apple) Jung: Wow, it's everything I ever wanted. Jesus: That's mine. Satan: You ever notice that Eris is one hot bitch? Confucius: Would you fools all shut the hell up, I'm trying to take a nap. Jesus: What were we talking about? Satan: I can't remember. Jesus: Let's go knock up some jewish bitches! Satan: Is that Eris chick jewish? Eris: (leaves) Jung: Good idea! Let's fuck some chickens! Jesus: I knew there was something wrong with you. Jung: I can expla... (disappears, room smells of brimstone) Satan: I quit. Jesus: I did that a long time ago. |
