Back at the palace:
Nick: So mirror, Now who's the fairest?
Mirror: Snow White is, for as fair as you may be, none is fairer than she.
Nick: But she's dead!
Mirror: No she isn't
Nick: JUSTIN!!!!!
Justin: What up now guy?
Nick: I thought you killed her! Don't make me anally rape you again.
Justin: Well I, uh, gotta go. *runs off*
Mirror: Why don't you kill her yourself.
Nick: I already said I didn't like blood.
Mirror: Then use the poisonous apple.
Nick: But how will I get her to eat it?
Mirror: Just disguise yourself as an old woman.
Nick: How do I do that?
Mirror: Just don't wear make-up.
Nick: Oh.
So the Queen removed her make-up and looked in the mirror, the mirror shattered instantaneously, so she put on a little make-up. She then took the poisonous apple and headed off through the woods. When she reached the house, she knocked on the door:
* Howie (who had snuck back into the house with Joey while the others were out) answered the door.
Nick: Hello little girl, is there an adult home?
Howie: What do you want?
Nick: I was wondering if they'd be interested in a nice shiny apple.
Joey: Apple? gimmie!!!
*Before anyone could even blink, Joey ate the apple.
Nick: Oh no, now I'm gonna have a dead midget on my hands.
Joey: That was great, got anymore?
Nick: What? That apple was poisonous, you should be dead by now.
Howie: Oh that's nothing, one time he ate 6 tractors and an atomic bomb.
Nick: Well now how am I supposed to kill Snow White? I mean, I uh...can't wait to own a fishing tank. Heh, heh, heh, I covered that one up pretty well.
Howie: Kill Snow White? Why didn't you just say so, she's a real bitch, she left me out in the rain. It must be that time of the month.
Nick: Is that how you shrank?
Howie: No you idiot, I'm just small.
Joey: Yeah, I think she stole my hot dog tree.
Nick: ?
Howie: Maybe Joey could just eat her.
Joey: But she'll just tie me to the tree again...and then she'll...she'll...I feel so violated.
Nick: Well, I'll just go home to plot.
A day passes and Nick returns wearing the same dress as Snow White. He knocks on the door:
*Snow White answers the door.
Snow White: *look of sheer terror* Oh, we're wearing the same outfit! I could just die of embarrassment!
*Snow White faints and slips into a deep coma, almost dead.
Nick: he he he, I mean (clears throat) Ah Ha Ha. I win, I'm the fairest of them all!
*Nick runs away to celebrate with chocolate cake and a bubble bath, followed by shopping for new pumps.
Joey: Can I eat her yet?
Howie: No, we have to build a bed in the clearing in the forest where we found her.
AJ: Shut up Howie, no one likes you.
Brian: Yeah, you're so stupid. Besides we have to build a bed in the clearing in the forest where we found her.
Joey: Why?
Chris: Because they did it in the Disney movie.
JC: Bed? Now you're talkin. I'm sick of sleeping on that damn futon.
Joey: Crouton? Where? I'm hungry.
AJ: Well JC that's too bad 'cuz the bed ain't for you
Chris: I'll go order it now. *goes off to phone*
Brian: So what do we do with her now?
Joey: Let's eat her, I have a great recipe for grilled albino
Brian: Hey Joey, I think I hear your hot dog tree hatching.
Joey: Wow, I knew it would. *runs off to watch his hot dog tree hatch*
Chris: Well, now all we have to do is wait 4 to 6 weeks for delivery.
Brian: 4 to 6 weeks???? What do we do with her until then? Joey's gonna eat her and we can't keep distracting him with his hot dog tree, not for 4 weeks.
JC: Well...
Brian: Ok, we could, but there's gotta be an easier way.
AJ: How 'bout we tie her up in a tree. It works on camping trips with bears.
Chris: And Joey's definitely not smarter than the av-er-age bear.
Howie: It's worth a try
Chris: Shut up...
Howie: I know, I know, nobody likes me.
Chris: Actually I was gonna say you smell like dead fish, but either way.
*Joey returns disappointed
AJ: So is it a boy or a girl *bites lip to stop from laughing*
Joey: There's still no results.
Chris: Don't worry, you'll be a mommy soon.
Joey: *Smiles at the thought and goes off to find something to eat.*
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