And the HBO was born

And this is the moment you have all been waiting for.......an explanation finally.

"dAh we`d never really thought of a name until that night.....it seems odd I suppose, but then that is what happened..." - a cryptic statement taken from an interview with Astromonkey, all shall be revealed shortly

Pt1 - Mr. granger and the war wagons of hell

He`d done so much in his petty life, and none of it was of any use to society at large, so his transport to the afterlife was enough to enrage the steaming hordes of hades. These angry creatures are not things that you want to get angry, and with the completing of the seven spheres (see the interim Gig overview) hell was about to break loose on this poor planet.

All was not looking well for Mr. Granger, as he transcended the layers of hell. Plus there was the Satanic enraging that he had done as a child, (see the part on Mr. Grangers past) so he dreaded his meeting with the prince of darkness, and so he should because satan was also looking forward to the meeting, so were the iron tongs and his tube of flame retardant KY Jelly..........

Pt 2 - The Band situation

Well they`d played their set, and watched the aftermath, it wasn`t much of a set, but it had had some effect (again, read the interim overview). Now the band were running for their lives persued not only by the deceased and rather angry owners of The Interim, but also the empty hordes of hell that Satan had reanimated for the gig, and were now after autographs. Plus they had other worries which were about to come to the forefront.

The Drummer was the first one to go, swallowed whole by the throng of Zombie Groupies. Notforustwo ran ahead and lost the rest in the maze of the village. The rest of the band split up also, dragging their own consortium of angry management and screaming undead with them through the streets. This splitting was perhaps the one thing that saved that night from eternal darkness.

Pt 3 - Satan gets his own back

Mr. Granger was in some pain when he reached the antechamber, but what Satan did with the tongs really made his eyes water, the KY Jelly didn`t help with the burning either. Next thing Mr. Granger knew he was being torn slowly peice from peice by Satans minions. He was not a happy man. He called out to Satan, but the big guy wasn`t listening. Finally Mr. Granger was reasembled and shot back up to earth to answer for his crimes and so that Satan could have all that fun again.

Pt 4 - Beating the Beast

The music was powerful, it had reached many depths, and had even struck a chord with a long dormant monster known only as The Hot Blue Organism. This creature reared its pinnied head and grinned, holding the dusters that it had for hands up to it`s eyes it looked up at the world and knew that it was time again for it to rise and slay again.

Pt 5 - The making of Monkeys

Lardass ran and ran for his life. He was quite fast and was able to get out of there pretty quickly he ran back the onion shop and hid in his locker, hoping that no-one would find him.
He was right but he couldn`t hide in the locker forever, so after about 20 minutes which he counted out using grains of salt and an egg timer, he left the locker and wandered into the room when Tankass ran in and slammed the door shut. They both faced each other and said "Duh" when suddenly a blue shimmer appeared in the room between them, and something that looked like a neon blue Chewbacca in a french maids uniform, appeared. It wasn`t pleasant to look at so they screamed and tried to run. The monster locked the door, they were trapped between a luvvie and a dark green sea of eyes which peered in and saw the object of it`s pursuits. The monster saw the undead as well and howled. Lardass and Tankass ran for their lives again, using the distraction to get away. The monster pursued them again as they traversed the hills near the coast. Finally the lads were getting tired and could run no longer, they stopped and looked out over the sea uttering nonsense and making sure none of the stones on the hill survived the fall. Suddenly something seized them both they stood up and looked at each other as the drooping jaws tightened, the craniums expanded, hair grew on tankass`s head, which was taken from Lardass`s head. The leftover was them stuck onto his chin. The HBO had found them and was now dividing it`s spirit between the two of them, so that he could rule again, using them as it`s host. This didn`t work as both were too dumb originally to remember why they had been taken over so they became HBO hosts.
It was a long painful process, but when it was finished they stood and stared at each other the New Lardass looked down at his hands which were now more suited to the speedy guitar that he wanted to play. The New Tankass also had better hands but his nails (a lot nicer now) were better suited to fingerpicking, something he wanted to do. They smiled and laughed,(The lads, not the nice nails) then something happened which locked them into their destinys.

Pt6 - Helen Earth

Satan was a happy little fish now. Everything was going his way, God was too preoccupied with the plot of Neighbours to do anything, the seven Spheres had been aligned and opened. All was now heading for a lifetime of Satanic darkness. He gathered his hordes and recalled the anti-christ (tales tell of a mysterious creature emerging from Cilla Blacks dressing room, it did, but it was only Cilla. However at that same point in the BBC Anthea Turner turned on the world and started eating the people around her, before returning to hell with her foster father.) Satan was wrong with one thing though, God wasn`t busy with Neighbours, in fact he had been waiting for that last song. It was too early in the morning, so he did the only thing he could.

Pt7 - To the Stars

A ray of light shone from heaven, Tankass was knocked sideways, which was unfortunate really as he was stood at the side of a cliff, and he fell.
Lardass however was captivated by the light and he stood in it`s radiance as an object hoved into view. It didn`t acknowledge in his head that this doesn`t normally happen, but so much wierdness was happening right now that it phased him only a little. A cabin opened above him and he slowly lifted up into the space ship. He looked around at the creatures, he grinned and passed out.

Pt8 - The Ocean Machine

Not much went through Tankasses head as he fell. Little had before, and it wasn`t going to start doing so now. It`s a bit like calling the insurance company for a quote as you fall off of the cliff in your car. Besides all that was important had been done and in a strange way he was happy. Then he hit the waves. There was nothing unusal about this in any normal circumstances, but the problem lay with the fact that it had only been a few second since falling from the cliff that he hit the water. Plus there was the fact that the beach extended out some way and was all rock. His likelyhood of hitting the ocean were remote, but the seas were rising to reclaim the Earth at Satans Whim. Tankass couldn`t swim, but he now had a sense of humour, so he could appreciate the irony of being saved from an unsavable condition, only to drown. Again his mind was blank as he slowly sank through the water. He closed his eyes and tried to drift off peacefully.

Pt9 - The Satanic Hot Dog emporium

Satan came to the Earth with a roar of thunder and brimstone, the night stayed night even when day was supposed to happen, cattle and small squeaky things died in their twenties. Pests invaded homes with promises of insurance and industrial Triple glazing at a price that "Suits your home and the decent people you are". All the timetables at busstops were replaced by useless information on local events. People`s firstborn died mentally, and wanted only " Playstation, Nightclub, Ibiza" denying the next generation any form of thought process at all. Satan ruled the Earth and turned it to sludge. He enslaved the millions and turned them to building fast food outlets. It seemed like there was nothing that could be done, and it also seemed that Lardass, Tankass and the rest of the band were to blame for the whole thing. They were the new baddies.
Satan was happy, he had Earth in his grasp, all he needed to do now was wait for god to appear and challenge him. This didn`t happen.

Pt10 - The final chapter

Well it was still dark across the planet when the thing crawled out of the sea, it beckoned back into the ocean and something else crawled out after it. The first thing stood up and watched as something appeared out of the air, a beam of light struck the Earth and something seemed to fall in slow motion from the underside of the object. The thing smiled and beckoned it`s partner to walk with it over to where a tall thin creature was standing looking down at itself. The tall creature had it`s back to The Thing and as it turned to face it history was made. The first thing I saw was the Astromonkey face superimposed on the head, it looked a bit like a bunny. Astromonkey tells me that he also saw my lionesque image superimposed upon my face. Thus my friends, The Hot Blue Organism was born, and we`re still fighting satan today. Please help our efforts......buy our albums...........

ALL the best:
Beef Dafish......