Script

Welcome to Kashifs Site ~>! | home

Script

EI, EI - uh oh!

INTRODUCTION

Girl and guy out of nowhere, just end up in the forest wearing bright Indian clothing and start dancing in the forest. They sing a tune for about 10 MINUTES, during the tune they dance through the forest, the city, and then suddenly at the end of the catchy tune they end up on a mountain with snow in totally new wardrobe. Looks like Canada but they still in India. The girl and guy dance at the edge of the mountain as if they they did not know where they were. They both find a snow mobile, which they use to get down to the bottom of the mountain. Suddenly the girl falls...she hits her head on a rock and becomes unconscious, the rock that she knocked her head on starts to crack the guy notices that the there's going to be an avalanche, he picks up the girl and dumps her on the snow mobile he then gets on the snow mobile and they race down the mountain to avoid the avalanche. After a few bumps on the way down the girl starts to gain consciousness, the guy says calm down you're bleeding and loosing a lot of blood! The girl gets up and starts slipping off the snow mobile. BOOM she falls! The guy stops the snow mobile and tries to pick her up, whilst the avalanche comes closer to them, the girl says "go, go without me" guy goes "no I love you" girl says "no you don't" and then the guy goes "come on! Its coming closer!!" the girl says 'leave without me, I see the light!" the guy says "no that's just the flashlight im pointing towards your eyes" the girl says "go now, The Force is With You!” The guy leaves.

~END SCENE~

...4 years later...

The guy, Akash, starting to go to the University of New Delhi, he wants to become a gastro entomologist, he likes walks on the beach and rainy days, he stands at 6'0 and weighs 145 pounds. He has black hair and blue eyes, he likes curry, peaches and cream, C~Z~J, and sheep stomachs for breakfast, he plays cricket and is currently the 2nd best cricket player in India. He is single and not looking.

The girl on the mountain, zigga.

Uncle Harry, Akashs uncle, member of Indian Bureau of Investigation (IBI). Short, chubby guy, beard, master of disguise, first East Indian member of The Harlem Globetrotters. Also owns the # 1 Plumbing Company in Delhi - very important.

The girl following Ashok, Zeebo. Member of International Female Revenge Corporation.

Amir, IBI, trained in Tybo, closest friend of Uncle Harry. Also ex-co-host of VTV Breakfast.

FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL

Akash goes to school; during his DIP 101 class he starts daydreaming. He sees this beautiful Indian girl eating curry, then he looks at her face and sees zigga's face, the class ends and Akash follows the girl, the girl notices, so she quickly turns into a hall. Akash looses her, and says "damnit!” the girl hits Akash from behind with a karate chop to the head whilst screaming "chop suey!” The girl disappears and Akash goes to the nurse's office.

~END SCENE~

The nurses office, Ashok tries to explain what how he injured his neck to the male nurse.

Akash: Well there was this girl she was extraordinaire. She reminded me off this girl back in the day.

Male Nurse: Yes, rite, the girl you killed on top of the mountain.

Akash: Yes, how did you know that?

I mean no I didn't kill her, how do you know that?

Male Nurse: Akash, I am your plumber!

Akash: Uncle Harry!!!!

Didn't you move to Bombay?

Uncle Harry: Akash, we have no time for this!!

Tell me about the girl

Akash: Which Girl?

Uncle, I've been popular with ladies lately.

Uncle Harry: The Girl that hit you on the neck!

Akash: Rite! Is that the one from today or last week?

Oh yeah, there was another one from the week before that too.

Uncle Harry: The one that hit you today!!!!

Akash: Rite! Well she `slightly' hit me on my neck, it didn't hurt that much, just a bit, and it'll be better in about a month with a neck brace and all. OOWWWWW!!!

Uncle Harry: No you fool! What she look like? Where did she go?

Akash: Ummm…well…see…I… ummm…didn't really see her that well.

Why is she dangerous?

Uncle Harry: We must talk at another time. People are watching us.

Whatever you do just avoid contact with her.

We will meet soon.

Akash: Sure Uncle! Whatever you say, it'll be hard to keep her away from a handsome guy like me; you know the ladies have been `digging' me lately!

Uncle Harry: Leave!

Akash: Yes Uncle.

~END SCENE~

Akash leaves school, going to work at Curry in a Hurry. Everyone looks at him strangely.

Male Employee: Akash! What happened to your neck?

Akash: Oh, my neck?

Cricket injury.

Male Employee: Is it okay, need a massage?

Akash: No!

Manager: Akash, what happen to you? I'm not paying you extra injury pay and your not getting time off, you know this is the busiest time of the year!

Akash: Yes, I know. It's just a Cricket injury.

Manager: By the way, today the police came here looking for you.

Akash: Why? Police? What I do?

Manager: Something about your uncle?

Don't worry, just get to work!

Akash: Yes Boss.

Manager: You have 3 deliveries ready to go.

Akash: Yes Boss.

Akash is delivering his first package of curry; he's wearing his uniform. The location of the first delivery is a dark house, exotic cars parked in the front lot. And the time of day is approximately 6:30, therefore it is dark.

Akash: Hello, delivery of 1 dozen roti's; 6 pieces of pakora; and 1 plate of curry.

(Customers face is not fully visible; she is female.)

Customer: Thank-you.

Akash: That will be $25.32

Are you a member of the Curry 2002 Club?

Customer: No, is that were you get frequent curry miles? And have the chance to win a prepaid trip to Canada?

Akash: Yes it is.

I can sign you up if you'd like?

Customer: Sure.

Please come in.

Akash: Sure, this will only take a moment.

Name?

Customer: Zeebo

The rest of the form is as follows:

Address: 108 east 10th avenue

Delhi City

Phone #: 20-457-64

etc...

Akash: Thank-you for your time!

Enjoy the curry!

Customer: Thank-you!

Akash leaves the house noticing the BMW - M 5 parked outside, with plate Curry # 1. He reverses out of the lot and drives back to the store to pick up the next delivery. He notices the BMW he saw parked is following him, but he continues driving to the store for more deliveries. (The BMW follows him at a distance)...

~End Scene~

When Akash arrives at the store he sees his Uncle Harry, waiting in a disguise.

Akash: Hey uncle! Why are you all dressed up!?

Uncle Harry: Stop yelling, we're being watched!

Come with me!

Akash: Sure Uncle, I just have a few more deliveries and I'll be right with you.

Uncle Harry: Akash! You have no time for this. We're being watched!

Come with me!

Akash: Oh rite, one of my customers was following me. She's right there, in the Bemer.

Uncle Harry: Pick the deliveries we'll drop them off on the way!

Akash: Are you sure Uncle, I know your one of those guys that eats a lot!

Uncle Harry: Akash!!!!

~END SCENE~

Akash & Uncle Harry leaves the store.

Akash: Hey Uncle, that Bemer is still following us. I think she digs me!

Uncle Harry: Yes, I know.

(Uncle calls somebody by the name of Amir on his cell)

Uncle: Yes, Amir?

Amir: Speaking.

Uncle: We're being followed by a BMW - M 5, with licence plate CURRY #1. Were on 112 Dahl Road, going east, were heading to the base.

Amir: Okay Sir. I'll just pull her over, and plant her with some Nagona.

Uncle: Good, Good.

Akash: So, what about this food!

It's going to get bad.

Uncle Harry: I'll take care of it!

Akash: I better be paid, in Full!

Uncle Harry: Forget the food!

~END SCENE~

Amir pulls over the lady following Akash.

Amir: Hello, kay se hai?

Sub rite? Lurkan Buchan? Ad mee?

Zeebo: I'm sorry, I don't speak Dipp.

(Note: this is unusual, very unusual because the area that they are in only speaks Dip)

Amir: Okay, do you have any Drugs, alcohol in the vehicle?

Zeebo: Nope.

Amir: Ma'am will you please step out of the vehicle?

Zeebo: I can try too, but my wheelchair is in the back

Amir: Oh, okay just open the trunk I'll get the wheel chair out.

Zeebo: Okay.

Amir goes to the trunk and takes the wheel chair out, he plants the Nagona. And then helps Zeebo out.

Amir: I'm just going to check the car for any drugs and so on.

Zeebo: But I said…

Amir: I still have to check.

Zeebo: Okay!

He checks the trunk and finds the Nagona, which he planted.

Amir: Please put your hands behind your back

Zeebo: Why?

Amir: Possession of Nagona.

Zeebo: It's not mine!

I don't drink Nagona!

Amir: Sure, that's what they all say.

too bee continweed

next month ~>!

(Friday, December 15, 2001)