darkpanda's guide to non-bitch like behavior

Team Fortress Etiquette and my rants about the morons who don't follow them ;)

NOTE:This page is the work of darkpanda,and does not necescarily reflect the views Clan Gibbles ' n Bits.

Ok,I've been playing TF for a while now,and it has become a rare occasion to play an idiot-free game.Hopefully the release of Quake 2 will weed out the dumbasses like everyone is hoping,but incase there are some newbies who would like to play the game decently AS A TEAM,this is what, in my opinion,TF etiquette and play should be.

Some of these may not appy in all situations,so use some fucking common sense.

READ THE README FILES Every now and then I see some moron in a game,asking "How do I use grenades?" or "How do I blow up my pipebombs?" which is always followed up by "How do I set detpacks?".Damn it,TF Software put the readme files in with TF so we could find out how to play the fucking game.Don't ask people simple crap like the above examples.It just means you're an idiot if you do,and you'll most likely get flamed,in whichcase you deserve it.

BIND A KEY TO DISCARD This is one of my biggest gripes.Nothing pisses me off like seeing a piss-ant scout zipping in and taking stuff I need like rockets or nails.No matter what class you are,DISCARD THE STUFF YOU DONT USE.It takes one second,and it helps out your team alot since they can just pick up a discarded pack instead of having to wait for the items they need to respawn when they could be attacking or defending.

BE PREPARED Or more specifically,help your teammates to be prepared by reporting when and how the other team is entering your base.This is usually the snipers job,but if you dont have a sniper,get someone else to do it.Trust me,this one is very important if you want to keep the other team from running around in your base unhindered.

BE PATIENT If someone is in the passage to the supply room in 2forts or somewhere,don't be a fuckhead and start shooting at them instantly.If they're standing there for a few seconds,fire off a round or two.The reasoning behind this is,if you are playing on a QW server (which you should be),the person blocking the way might be getting U_REMOVE notices up the wazoo,and can't exactly see where he's going (or where he is in some cases).On a similar note,don't shoot a teammate just because he got the armor faster than you.That is what is known as being a dickhead.Don't do it.

DON'T SHOOT YOUR TEAMMATES �This one probably sounds obvious to most of you,but you'd be surprised how often I get my armor shot off by my own snipers and other jumpy idiots on my team.TF Software was nice enought to put in an ID command,so if you see a something in the shadows in your base,fucking use it.Just bind it to a key. Also,if you're a sniper and you're shooting at something that's concealed by shadows,use some damn common sense.I mean come on,if someone can take 2 full power sniper bullets,they are on your team,and are probably "thanking" you for fixing their over abundance of armor.

This one is for all you super 00-dipshits out there,otherwise known as spies.For god's sake,DON'T CHANGE COLOR/SKIN IN YOUR OWN BASE! That is,unless you like getting your armor shot off and wasting your teammates time and ammo.Do it in a quiet place in the enemy base,or at least somewhere where your teammates are less likely to find you.

DON'T SHOOT TEAMMATES JUST TO SEE IF THEY'RE SPIES This annoying display of stupidity happens semi-frequently to me,and it really pisses me off.Use the afformentioned ID command and open fire ONLY if what ID tells you if fishy,or if you see halucinogenic grenades come out of the person.Also,snipers running around with an axe or a speedy HWguy are sure signs you 're looking at a spy.

TRY TO SHARE THE ELEVATORS by jumping on at the same time if there's someone else waiting to get on.I know it's a little difficult to do it all the time,but be considerate of other teammates who might be 4 ot 5 steps behind you trying to get a lift.And if you're a scout or a speedy class,don't be an asshole and run past people about to get on the elevator.Share and share alike,and your teams efficiency will go up noticably.

DON'T SET DETPACKS ANYWHERE IN YOUR BASE if your a demoman,unless it has a strategic purpose.People who lay dets in their own bases spawn rooms and sniper nests (yes,I've had it happen before) should be castrated.

SEEK AND HEAL people calling for you if you're playing as a medic.It's your job.I've had several instances where I've had like,10 or 20 health,and my teams medic simply ignores me untill im finally dead,then heals me when I respawn in the supply room! It only takes one whack to heal a teammate to full health,and the people you heal/give mega health to will thank you.

IF YOU GET INFECTED, find a medic or go in a quiet corner and kill yourself god damn it! And for fucks sake,DO NOT GO INTO THE RESPAWN ROOM!!! The worst and most retarded thing you can do when infected is infect your teammates.

DON'T BITCH ABOUT LAG,especially if you're playing on a QW server.In fact,dont say a damn thing about your connection unless forced to.Everyone else with a normal modem connection gets lag and "U_REMOVE on full update"s too,and we sure as hell don't want to hear you bitch about yours just because you're getting the shit knocked out of you.Would you be complaining if you had 600 ping but were in ��1^st place the whole game? No.So shut up.The ping issue is continued in my next gripe.

DON'T BE AN ASSHOLE if you happen to be a LPB.Chances are,you're playing from work and aren't paying a damn thing for that T1 that makes you so cool.Now don't get me wrong,I have (almost =) ) nothing against LPBs.Just dont shoot off your mouth about how good you are and how much everyone else sucks,because in reality,if everyone else had the same connection you do,you'd probably be getting splattered against your bases wall from snipers yourself.

DON'T RESPAWN CAMP If you do,you are a scrub and suck so much your room is probably a dust-free environment.Do you really need to free up a hand to jack off with THAT badly?.Building a sentry at an enemy respawn point is also considered camping,so dont even think about doing that either.

If you have something you think should be here,Mail it to me and I will post it here and give you credit animated by abcb