Youve played too much Battle Zone when:

You expect all those people you shot out of their cars to just respawn
elsewhere on the map.

You set a recycling bin upside down on a running garden hose, and perch on
your garage roof with a rifle, making sure those pesky commie squirrels
dont get it.

You wear a fishbowl on your head for protection against the dangerous
atmosphere.

Walking through the woods, you see a Grizzly bear, and escort it home.

Youve already shot three recycling men who were emptying out your bin.

Youve mounted a 88mm cannon on your car, and drive around playing dance
music at full blast.

You skydive without a parachute, confident that your rocket boots will
ensure a safe landing.

Your car hovers.

The Armed Forces have already lost three tanks to that tool with the
fishbowl on his head.

You mistake the Fort Knox reserve for scrap, and melt it down to forge a
tank.

While visiting Toronto ( my hometown...yay! ), you take note of how far the
C.N. Tower could launch a Day Wrecker.

Youre taking a trip to Russia to snipe them wackos, and to capture a
flanker for study.

You hock Day Wreckers off an overpass.

You throw razors at everyone with a Russian accent.

Your wife cant shave her legs, because you and your friends are playing
with her razor.

You fully expect the recycling bin to build you a new car after you total
your next one.

You have to choose between Battle Zone and your family. Youll miss your
family...

Your house is burning down. In a panic, you run past the rooms containing
your unconscious family, and prepare to sacrifice your self for the
recycling bin...

You can actually get the Grizzly bears in the forest to follow your
commands. So far, theyve killed many immigrants with Slavic accents...

Youve decorated your recycling bin with the Medal of Valour, because it
demonstrated courage under fire when your dog got loose and had to do his thing...

EVEN MORE THAT ARNT NUMBERED!!!!!

You have a laptop computer and a cellular modem...in your car...and the only software you own is BattleZone.

You dont think of your office buddies as buddies anymore, but rather as targets...

You watch over factories with a rifle and tank.

You have a mounting interest in toy tanks.

Your wife left you after you tried to explain why you slept with the
recycling bin rather than her...but you HAD to keep it safe!

You dont mind being tagged by your dogs cannon so long as clean pants respawn somewhere nearby.

Im your best friend! :-)

You actually can manage to float to the ground from dizzying heights.

Your conversion to Buddhism lasts only a few seconds, during which you find out its not AIRbuddhism...you subsequently kill yourself. (Devoted to theCO)

You tear apart "CZARdines", so they can't get you with their
Stabbers...even though they've already been killed and pre-packaged.

You took a bullet for a grizzly bear yesterday.

You plan on taking a bullet for a Grizzly tomorrow, or any other time you have to.

You entrust your recycling bin to a few Grizzly bears while you go and snipe yourself a new vehicle.

You tried to tell the cops you were with the NSDF, but they just wouldn't listen!!

Whenever you go on a BZ binge, it ends with you downtown saying "Yes, Your Honour?"

You were arrested for detonating packs of C-4 Plastic Explosive inside every recycling bin you saw in the Russian section of your town.

Chernobyl 2 is going to be all your fault...

You didn't know that catapulting guns across town was illegal.

You put tin cans and other scrap in the recycling bin, and set it by the
roadside. You get a strange feeling of satisfaction afterwards, when you notice the bin is already empty, which means it MUST be done processing the scrap.

You become frustrated when you can't find your turret.

You have great appreciation for the water sprinkler in your yard, which
constantly fires bursts of "minigun fire" all over the place.

To you, R-A-V-E spells D-O-O-M.

At your business conference, you drone on for hours about how we should protect our recycling bins with our lives and kill any of those commie pinko-wacko bastards who go near it, but you are in the business of car upholstery.

Vending machines hold a special place in your heart, because they build and deploy energy in bar form.

Real Life does not exist any longer within your mind.

You bought the rights to BattleZone 3. But you have no idea what "rights" are. You just know you paid 3 million for them.

While at a restaurant, you notice a man eating borscht. You follow him home, blow up his car, blow up his recycling bin, and perch on his front doorstep with a rifle.

You wander into the UN building during an important meeting, gain access to the P.A., and declare that Boris Yeltsin can kiss your NSDF ass, after you've killed him.

The BZ theme music makes you have "flashbacks"...

-ALL BY CLOCKWORK ORANGE