Untitled Part IV
There was a soft click as the door handle turned, the creak of the hinges following as she pushed the front door open, only partially surprised to see the place was pretty much was shrouded in darkness. She stepped in to the house, dropping her overnight bag down just inside the door, her soft call sounding in the darkness, "Shawn?"
She had thought about this moment all the way here, the plane ride painstakingly long as she envisioned him here, alone, in pain. The visual image of him hurting had haunted her, tearing at her heart like a clawed fiend she could no nothing to ward away. He meant everything to her. She could never explain how that had happened, but it had. And to think of him hurting... It was almost more than she could stand.
He had saved her from a pain she would never have had the strength to fight alone, given her hope and brought her back from the darkest place she had ever been. When he had come to her, she had wanted to die. She positively longed for an end to the hurt in her soul, to the nightmares that plagued her, but he had refused to let her go. His perseverance had saved not only her life, but her heart and soul. And with the comfort she found in his arms, and the nights that passed where she slept my his side, she had found more than she had dared to dream of.
When he touched her any touch that had come before faded into oblivion, his kiss, his arms around her, where the safest place she had ever known and never once had she feared him, never once had she feared his intentions toward her. The comfort she had taken in him, had slowly burned into passion, and with that passion...
She stepped inside, closing the door over behind her, a soft smile touching her face, the truth of it still surprising to her.
With that passion she had fallen deeply, deeply in love with him.
A week ago, she had still believed she loved another. If it was put to her that perhaps the longing she had begun to feel with Shawn surpassed the bounds of the very casual, very relaxed relationship they seemed to share, she would shake her head, her jaw set firmly in denial. She had feared the notion itself, for all that she had ever loved had eventually walked away from her, simply tiring of her or moving on to bigger and better things. To be in love with him would mean that somehow, someday, he would leave her too, right?
So no, she would not fall in love with him, she would not let herself. She would stay instead locked in unrequited love...
But it had been too late, hadn't it?
Because when she crawled into bed at night and slipped into his arms, she would curl her lips into soft kisses against his naked chest and smile. His fingers would creep into her hair and she would whisper softly to him as they each shared the details of their day. He would say something in his rich, deep voice and she would giggle, burying her face into the soft hair of his perfectly chiselled chest and squeezing him tightly, his own smug chuckle vibrating against her cheek as the sound filled her ears. The conversation between then would slowly die away...
The little kisses she would place against his chest would slowly creep higher and higher on his body until her lips would meet the nape of his neck, the kisses climbing up the side of his throat, along the line of his jaw until her eyes would meet his and she would smile. The brightest smile, the truest smile, that she had ever worn for anyone, the very gesture so heartfelt that it near consumed her, and when he returned her smile with that delicious twinkle in his eyes, she would kiss his lips and his arms would tighten around her. Gentle touches would melt under a fire she had never felt with another, and as the silence of the darkened bedroom was littered with the sweet sounds of their lovemaking, her heart would pound, and her body would tremble, and her mind? Lost beyond all reason, not capable of coherent thought, for when he touched her, there was nothing but him and her and the fire his wild heart had instilled in her.
Eventually he would lay back, still keeping her tightly locked in his arms, and as she lay there, again pressing tiny kisses to his chest, her fingers stroking slowly up and down his side as she breathed slow and deep, contentment would take hold of her. Sleep would come. And though her mind wandered into the land of dreams, he seemingly followed, her nightly imagings full of him. The sweet scent of him, the warmth of his touch, the desire of his kiss forcing away the nightmares that had once plagued her so. And when he drifted away from her as the morning came, she would open her eyes and find him there again.
When was the last time she had dreamed of another?
In truth, she couldn't honestly say for he had consumed her. She had denied, she had fought it for fear he would be driven away. But today had changed everything.
The ring she now wore on her finger told her she had been a fool. He had patient with her thus far, he had tolerated her mistakes and helped her seek ways to correct them. He was kind to her, understanding and above all else considerate. When she hurt he held her, when she was afraid he had protected her. And finally... Finally she believed.
"I love you, I wanna be with you forever."
She had told him she loved him in return. She told him often enough as the weeks had gone by. But she had never told him...
"Lil?"
She turned at the sound of her name, seeing him standing in the living room door way, his tired eyes glimmering, his beautiful face an expression of slight surprise, as though he had not expected her to come.
And he should have. Because she would always come. No matter where he was, no matter what he did or even if he told her to go. He had become a part of her. Her heart, her soul, her life was so invested in him, in all that he had been, in all that he was and all that he was still to be. She would never leave, and she would do whatever he asked of her now...
She nodded slightly to herself.
Now and for the rest of her life.
It was time to tell him what she should have told him long, long ago. "Shawn," a relieved smile touched her face, and she stepped nearer him, her fingertips pressing to his lips when he went to speak. He fell silent, his blue green eyes staring deep into hers and her smile only grew that much brighter. Her finger brushed back the soft blonde strands of his hair before a hand cupped each cheek. She leaned forward to place a little, loving kiss on his lips and then she whispered, "I love you." He nodded again as if to speak and she cooed softly, "Ssshhh." Her arms moved around his neck and she pressed into his embrace, her lips only millimetres from his, her eyes never straying. "Shawn," she whispered again, "I don't just love you... And I've been so afraid to say this, but..." His expression changed slightly in a momentary flash of confusion and she whispered, "I'm in love with you."
To her surprise, the words came easily, and she grinned, relieved and excited before kissing him again before he could say another word, pouring herself into the kiss, fiercely determined to show him she loved him, and only him...
And she would never love another again.
~ The End ~
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