Heff's Marinades:

1cup soy sauce

1 cup fresh squeezed lime juice

2 tbsp crushed red pepper

2 tsp black pepper

1 tsp ginger

1 sm grated white onion

1 cup soy sauce

1 cup fresh squeezed grapefruit juice

2 tbsp crushed red pepper

2 tsp black pepper

1 lg grated red onion

1 or 2 tbsp honey

Marinade a tri tip with the above beef marinade.

Cook 2 chopped yellow or red onions and two chopped green bell peppers in the oven, topped with lime slices @ 350 degrees for 1/2 hr to an hour.

Smash 2-4 avocados up with fresh chopped cilantro, white onions and tomatoes.

Bbq the tri tip, slice it thin.

Heat up some black beans, pinquintos and pintos in a pan.

Warm flour tortillas. When all is done, put some cut up tri tip, the onion-lime-green pepper mix, the avocado mix, the bean mix and some sour cream in a warm tortilla, making yourself a big fat burrito.

Warn people before you blast a mushroom cloud out of your bunghole. Or at least run about 25 - 50 yards away. If you're shy, people will still hear you at that distance so you might need to run farther.

2 lbs ground beef

2 reg cans pinto beans

2 reg cans red kidney beans

2 reg cans white hominy

2 reg cans diced tomatoes

1 lg red onion

2 tbsp crushed red pepper

1 tbsp cayenne pepper

1 pkg Carrol Shelby's Chili Mix

1. Brown beef in a skillet and drain as much fat as possible because fat is bad, m'kay.
2. Add the two cans of diced tomatoes and fill one of them with water.
3. Dump the can o' water into the pot, along with the chili mix and that little cayenne pepper pouch that comes with it and that little salt package too. (Chuck out the masa flour that comes in that pack. You don't need no stinking flour.)
4. Add all the other ingredients and chop up that big fat red onion into the pot, as well.
5. Cook for 20 minutes, then simmer for about 1 hr. 2 hrs. is better if you have the time.
6. Add salt to taste and more crushed red pepper if it's still too wimpy for ya!
7. Make sure you take a tray of ice cubes with you to the toilet later on. You might burn your bunghole.