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This NEWS
| Wednesday the 20th
of November 2002 |
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Shopping News
Pot Noodles 26p off in Somerfield until December
3rd
Birthday News
Bo Derek star of '10' with dead, pint-size,
lunatic 'Cuddly' Dudley Moore, 46 today
The Hilarious presenter of Catchphrase, Nick
Weir, 35
Happy Birthday to you!
HAIRSPRAY GUMS GAG HUNGRY
HUMAN
It has come to our notice that a popular manufacturer
of sweets has been swamping shelves with low-grade produce.
Golden Casket
of Greenock has been regularly supplying local food stores
with "millions cola" for some time. Whilst it stipulates
on the packaging that they should be "Tiny Tasty Chewy",
it fails to mention a questionable flavour left in the mouth,
compared by one customer to that of "household hairspray".
Golden Casket has been contacted concerning the ingredients
(over two thirds sugar), but have yet to comment. Claims that
it has been approved by the Vegetarian Society are also unsubstantiated.
Perhaps more worrying is the uncertainty around how the company
originated, due to misleading corporate representation. The
address states that they are a Limited company, while other
areas suggest part of a larger group, bringing many factors
of legitimacy under scrutiny. Is this a family friendly sweet-maker
as the TV advertising hopes to convey or an evil one-man Wonkaland,
churning out filth-ridden yucky? I leave that for you to decide.
Enquiries to the company may sent to [email protected]
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| Thursday the 21st
of November 2002 |
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Legal News
Chewing gum has been banned in Singapore for
the past ten years. It is now going to be allowed, but only on prescription
for therapeutic and medicinal use.
Birthday News
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Goldie 'The Labrador' Hawn is 157 today, proving
once more that though she may look like Death has Become Her,
we're still waiting.
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And...
| Lovely, Icelandic Singist Björk Guðmundsdóttir is 37 today too, No Shit! |
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Hip Hip Hooray!
| Wednesday the 4th
of December 2002 |
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Hi Folks. Sorry about the lack of news recently. There really hasn't
been any to report. For example everyone's favourite "News"
paper The Sun has been running this front cover for the past week.
See what I mean? No news until now. Here goes.
Shopping News
The offer at Somerfield on Pot Noodles has now finished. It was
nice while it lasted, but they were running out of all the good
flavours by the end anyway.
The corned beef formally known as Princes is reduced at Safeway.
I was astounded to find there was a full 30p knocked off the regular
price. Still it has to be cheap, doesn't it? Tastes like something
you'd feed to a family pet. If you're over 80 and can remember the
days when it was rationed or illegal or something, this will be
a rare treat. Sava tha Flava. 59p until Tuesday the 10th.
Birthday News
Big Up Jay-Z! It's his birthday today! Great! And Jeff Bridges
is 53 as well. What a guy!
Jace
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