Why *MY* Kid?
By Amy
© Amy Halvorson, 2000
Well, the question's recently come up at my house... Why would a girl with a perfectly nice bunch of Christian parents (to clarify, I have a father, a mother, and a step-father), going to a perfectly nice Lutheran College (as a religion major no less) suddenly pop out of her dusty broom closet(1)? Why would she be in one at all?
My mom's having a hard time coming up with answers to these questions. The biggest reason, however, is because I didn't *mean* to tell her. I sent her an email one time, and used the wrong .sig file. That particular .sig contained a link to my other webpage. Well, my other webpage is a page that publishes pagan literature, including essays. She read the "A Glimpse into the BroomCloset" and WHAM! she realized her daughter (that's me!) had been hiding something from her! The idea that I didn't feel comfortable telling her something hurt her a lot, more, I think, than it would have had I just been up front about my religious views. The fact that I felt I had to hide it also cast doubt on my religion for her. She didn't understand why I felt I had to hide something that wasn't going to harm me.
To be honest, I was afraid. I respect my mother a LOT, and if she had reacted negatively, I would have been crushed!
For my Mother, my change in religions also brought up doubts about how she and my father had raised my sister and I. These doubts are, in my opinion, completely unfounded. I didn't change my religion because she didn't take me to church enough, or because she didn't pose strict enough rules for me. I converted because I don't agree with many of the Christian Church's central doctrines. I never was able to understand Christianity. Now, as a religion major at a Lutheran College, I am learning about it, and I can now see where it's coming from, but I still don't agree with a lot of it. On the other hand, I understand and agree with Wicca, so I feel that it's a much better religion for me.
Another concern that Mom had was that because I am so young (I'm 18), I might not be serious about paganism, that it might just be a passing phase. This was difficult for me to counter, because no matter what I say, I'm still only 18! I found that the only way of convincing my mom I was serious, was showing her, through discussion.
By the time we'd finished having *this* talk, Mom was getting pretty curious about what exactly we pagans *do*. First, I sent her to some good informational pages on the internet (I'd have shown her myself, but she's a couple of states away when I'm at college!). Unfortunately, she still didn't have the information she wanted. She wanted to see a ritual. That's what we have scheduled for next time I get home! I'm excited to finally show her what my beliefs entail, and she's excited to see. So, so far I've had happy endings to my "coming out" saga, and the future looks bright!
1. To be "in the closet" about something is not being open about your beliefs.