Chapter Seven of the ChoirGirl HOTeL…
Written by Adrien Amos
"Um excuse me sir," Adrienne Amos began in a soft polite voice addressed the man behind the front desk dressed like a Ubangie sailor from some B-rate version of the luv boat, "I've had a little accident and have been locked out of my room, is there anyway you could be so kind as to let me back in?" she finished and gasped for air.
"Certainly Madam, I'll send someone right up, your room #?" the first mate questioned turning to a large cream-colored computer system behind him.
"451" She said.
"451?" the man echoed in disbelief, "you must be mistaken, Adrienne Amos is in 451 and Adrienne Amos certainly wouldn't be prancing around the lobby of the finest hotel in NY in a barely there robe like some kind of trollop!" he spat.
Adrienne stared at the man in disbelief! She had just been miffed by this measly clerk! In a rage she spun on her heel and pushed past the dashing Special Agent Fox Mulder. She stomped over to a coffee table with a scattering of books placed upon it.
Retrieving one with a black cover she marched back to the front desk, her feet slapping loudly on the marble floor, and dramatically opened the novel to the back cover where her picture was placed on the book's jacket.
"Excuse moi sil vous plait?" she hissed in a bad French accent while giving the desk clerk an evil stare. "Right away Ms Amos" the clerk sputtered.
"And that MISS Amos!" Adrienne corrected; she wanted to be sure that Fox Mulder knew she was available!
"Um, Miss Amos, there is still this teeny-tiny matter of a FBI investigation that I have to deal with" Special Agent Fox Mulder said as he cleared his throat.
"Investigation? Just what are you investigating anyway? What does this Danna Poulvelli have to do with anything?" Adrienne queried.
"Danna Poulvelli has just been involved in a major hacking project that had stolen top secret files from the Pentagon, I have to find Mr. Poulvelli and the location of the stolen information" Fox Mulder explained in another one of his famous monologues.
"Wow..." Adrienne began, "that sounds like it'd make a good story!"
* * * *
Danna Poulvelli drove down 46th street in his pimp-mobile, as he headed towards the Choirgirl HOTeL. The los-ed out-pimp-daddy was dressed in an ultra shiny silver spandex one-piece suit; he did so to appear less conspicuous.
He was returning to the hotel to retrieve his brown paper bag filled with the 17 thousand dollars he had left behind in room 451. 'It be a DAMN shame to let that drug money go to waste' Danna thought to himself as he took the corner on to 6th street and pulled up to the valet parking service for the Choirgirl HOTeL.
He parted through the large oriental crystal double doors in a half dance as the song 'Centerfold' blared into the lobby's lounge from the street. 'na-na-nananana-nanananana angel is a centerfold, my angel is a centerfold-na-na-na-nananana'
As he walked past the guests seated in the lounge they looked up and could see their reflection in the los-ed-out-pimp-daddy's spandex suit. A little child burst into tears as he passed by, possible frightened by the suit's occupant or perhaps he was just scared of his bad taste!
Danna Poulvelli danced himself up to the elevator where the attendant promptly whisked him to the tenth floor.
* * * *
Karol, having successfully revived her fiancé who presently was too damn lazy to do much of anything except loaf around, shut the door to 452 and headed down the lushly oriental carpeted hall to take a little walk around the hotel. But as she sauntered away from her threshold she was smacked full force by a body moving at an uncanny velocity.
Karol was thrown backwards and landed flat on her back. With her head swimming and her knees shaking from the impact of the blow, Karol rose unsteadily to see whom her attacker really was. Clearing the tears from her eyes, she spied the bellboy,
Pete, fumbling with a large brass ring of keys, attempting to open the locked door of room 451. Just as she was about to let bungling idiot have a piece of her mind, the gold doors old the elevator push aside and the pimp daddy appeared in a haze of gold and the red velvet of the interior of the elevator.
Danna noticed the attractive blond bombshell and struck a pose while he jerk the over sized collar of his spandex suit up around his ears and shot Karol his best James Dean look.
"Tch, where did you get that?" Karol miffed, "Ringling-brothers-are-us? You look like you ought to be on a trapeze buddy, so make like one and take a flying leap!" You could almost hear his pride shatter and fall to the floor.
But Danna was after all, the comeback kid, so he picked up his pride some where near his dignity and headed towards room 451.
Now Karol was curious, what was going on, the psycho bellboy and the circus reject were both in Adrienne Amos's room... she really WAS a crack whore! But then she thought of the two men and realized that not even Adrienne Amos would do anything with those cheap carbon copies of male anatomy and decided to get Jamie.
"Hey Jamie, get out here!" Karol called in a loud whisper....
* * * *
Pete the bellboy was inspecting the condition of the room when Danna entered in all his los-ed-out-pimp-daddy-glory. As Danna quietly shut the door Pete's eyes light with surprise!
Why it REALLY WAS GENTLE SAC! Pete rushed over to Danna and threw himself at Poulvelli's shiny sliver shoed feet. "Gentle sac! It really is you! You’re my hero! Can I rub lotion on you please Gentle Sac! I want to rub lotion on you!" Pete screamed fanatically at Danna.
Danna was very scared. "Dude get the HELL away from me!" Danna shouted as he jump three feet back to get away from the roaming hands of the bellboy.
"But Gentle Sac, I WANNA RUB LOTION ON YOU DAMMIT!" Pete screeched like a rabid jackal as he lunged towards Danna.
Danna's face was frozen with terror, it was all running in slow motion as if he had all the time in the world to move, but before he blinked hissed Pete had pounced upon the defenseless Danna.
* * * *
Karol and Jamie stood just outside 451 with their ear pressed to the door. They weren't quite sure what to do, should they save Danna or should they just go wash their hair? But as in most cases, morality won and the two kareoke singers threw the door open after a count of three and rushed in to see the bellboy startling Danna as he rubbed lotion on the pimp-daddy's spandex suit.
Pete whipped around and his face was a mask of shock at being caught in this sodomizing position. Jamie thought fast and grabbed a handful of cocaine from the large mound of angel dust on the floor. She turned quickly and hurled the handful of cocaine into the bellboy’s beady eyes!
Pete recoiled as he clawed at his eyes, screaming in pain, Danna leapt from his helpless position and began to beat the hell out of the blind Pete.
Just then there was a loud bang from behind Karol and the entire scene froze as Special Angel... oops I mean Agent Fox Mulder kicked in the door brandishing his 475 magnum and looking fierce. "FREEZE FBI!" he shouted in his monotone, "GET DOWN, EVERYBODY GET DOWN!" he commanded whirling the gun in every direction.
His tie had become disheveled and the top button of his collar had come undone. He had a five o'clock shadow and as Adrienne entered the room behind him she thought he looked awful attractive when he was authoritarian.
All four bodies were lying flat on the floor, while Mulder walked between them, examining each suspect.
"What's going on?" he demanded to Karol.
"That bell boy attacked me then was sodomizing the pimp!" Karol declared matter-of-factly.
Mulder shot his gaze towards Pete and Danna as a light of recognition lit behind his eyes
* * * *
In room 452, Greg was finally stirred to consciousness by the heavy whacks of Jennifer. "Jesus Christ will you wake up...something’s going on!" the woman swore as she continued to violently shake Greg who smelled like a tobacco factory.
Then Karol's voice cut through the room and Greg leapt to his feet and rushed to the adjacent room fearing for his fiancée’s safety. Jenn gave the man's back a dirty look and then followed close.
* * * *
The gold elevators doors pushed open once again on the tenth floor as the now drooling elevator-button-pusher-person saw the two drop-dead-gorgeous sisters off. They had been looking all over for Danna, due to the fact that they're seemed to be a loop-hole in their contract concerning the actual date of the up front payment for their dual services.
They were a little surprised when in a whirlwind they saw their old college friend. Jenn rush past them with an excited expression. The virtual twins looked at each other and without a word followed the pair to room451.
* * * *
"Danna Poulvelli, you’re under arrest!" Fox Mulder announced to the greased up pimp-daddy, "Where's the disks Mr. Poulvelli?" he demanded darkly.
"Huh?" Danna responded clueless. Fox Mulder slammed the sliver-clad man into the wall.
"DON'T PLAY DUMB Mr. Poulvelli!" the agent warned.
"Hey!" Karol jumped to her feet, "that's battery, you have no right to do that!" The FBI Agent turned towards the kareoke singer.
"Get down right now!" he ordered pointing his gun at her across the room. Then a guttural cry was heard from the door, Greg had entered and was armed with a pocketknife as he charged towards Mulder. Having entered late in the situation, he had only seen Mulder pointing the gun at his beloved.
"FREEZE!" Mulder shouted now wrapping both hands around the handle of the 457 magnum. In the delirium, Greg never heard the Agent's warning, a scream ripped from Karol's throat and Jamie turned her head away, know the inevitable.
Kyribelle and Katiribelle were frozen in the doorway, jaws agape at the scene playing before them. The sound of a single shot rocked through the room and then the silence was deafening.
As the smoke cleared, Greg lay sprawled on the marble floor, his blood being soaked up by the mound of cocaine he had landed on. "GREG!" Karol howled in despair at the sight of her fiancé’s body.
* * * *
The intercom buzzed and crackled over her head. "We want to thank you for flying Federal Air, your tax dollars had at work! Please enjoy your flight to Washington or where ever your final destination maybe be!" the perky female voice finished and clicked off the inter-com. Agent Fox Mulder was reclining in his red upholstered seat. The flight would take a mere tow hours and then he could get to the bottom of this If those disks did describe the location of the UFO landing and the directions to it's touchdown point he would know. He closed his eyes as he ran over the events of the last day. That guy named Greg was lucky he was a good shot, he had only got the shoulder. Presently his nine suspects, the guests of the Choirgirl HOTeL were restrained and sitting in first class. Special Agent Fox Mulder began to fall asleep.
* * * *
A loud scream slit through the air just above Mulder's head. As he came to, he looked out his window...they were over the ocean! And smoke was pouring from the right engine of the plane!
They were going down over the Atlantic!
FOOTNOTE…
What's going on? How did the plane change course so dramatically? What about our heroes? Will they all die a watery death?