When you don't do it, you're lazy
When your boss doesn't do it, he's too busy

When you make a mistake, you're an idiot
When your boss makes a mistake, he's only human

When you're doing something without being told, you're overstepping authority
When your boss does the same thing, that's initiative

When you take a stand, you're being bullheaded
When your boss does it, he's being firm

When you overlooked a rule of etiquette, you're being rude
When your boss skips a few rules, he's being original

When you please your boss, you're arse-creeping
When your boss pleases his boss, he's being cooperative

When you're out of the office, you're wandering around
When your boss is out of the office, he's on business

When you have one too many drinks at a social, you're a drunken bum
When your boss does the same, he appreciated women

When you're on a day off sick, you're always sick
When your boss is a day off sick, he must be very ill

When you apply for leave, you must be going for an interview
When your boss applies for leave, It's because he's overworked

When you send jokes, it's junk mail
When your boss sends jokes, it's humour!