Things Never To Say To A Man With A Small Penis
* I've smoked fatter joints than that.* Ahh, it's cute.
* I'm sorry.
* Who circumcised you?
* Why don't we just cuddle?
* You know they have surgery to fix that.
* It's more fun to look at.
* Make it dance.
* You know, there's a tower in Italy like that.
* Wow, and your feet are so big.
* My last boyfriend was 4" bigger.
* It's OK, we'll work around it.
* Is this a mild or a spicy Slim Jim?
* Eww, there's an inch worm on your thigh.
* (giggle and point)
* Can I be honest with you?
* My 8-year-old brother has one like that.
* Let me go get my tweezers.
* How sweet, you brought incense.
* This explains your car.
* Maybe if we water it, it'll grow.
* Thanks, I needed a toothpick.
* Are you one of those pygmies?
* Have you ever thought of working in a sideshow?
* All right, a treasure hunt!
* I didn't know they came that small.
* Why is God punishing you?
* At least this won't take long.
* Let's just stick with your hand.
* Do you need a splint to prop that up.
* How interesting.
* I never saw one like that before.
* But it still works right?
* Do you take steroids?
* I hear excessive masturbation shrinks your dick.
* Maybe it looks better in natural light.
* I think there's a dildo around here somewhere.
* Why don't we skip right to the cigarettes?
* Let me know when you're done.
* Oh, I didn't know you were in an accident.
* Did you date Lorena Bobbitt?
* Aww, it's hiding.
* Are you cold?
* Is that an optical illusion?
* What is that?
* Does this run in your family?
* I'll go get the ketchup for your French fry.
* Were you neutered?
* It's a good thing you have so many other talents.
* Does it come with an air pump?
* So this is why you're supposed to judge people on personality.
* Where are the puppet strings?
* Deep throat? I doubt it'll reach my tongue!
* Your big gun is more like a BB gun.
* Can you get this pencil out of me now?
* Do I hang my hat on it?
* Look, it fits my Barbie clothes!
* Don't hold back.
* Nevermind, why bother.
THINGS TO SAY TO A MAN WITH A HUGE PENIS:
* Am I dreaming?
* Can I keep you?
* Get down on your knees, look heavenward and say, "Thank you God"
* And the most vital thing to say to a man with a huge penis, "I DO!"
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