Ambush shit - the kind that never happens at home, but usually at a party or while playing golf. It is the result of trying to fart just a little, but you end up with trouser chilli and you walk bow-legged for the rest of the day.

Blow Out Shit - The shit that's proceeded by a fart so vicious, you have to check the bowl afterwards to make sure there are no cracks.

Blowtorch Shit - Shit that burns your ass so much, you'd swear that it's flammable. (usually occurs morning after eating WAY too much spicy food)

Champagne Shit - you're so constipated that by the time the cork blows, a bubbly liquid streams from your ass.

Clean shit - The kind where you shit it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper.

Concrete Shit - This is what you'll drop after you haven't been to the toilet in 14 days.

Corn shit - self-explanatory.

Dream Shit - When you haven't been to the toilet in 14 days, this is the shit that you'll be dreaming about.

Drunken shit - the kind you have the morning after a long night of drinking. Its most noticeable trait is the skid marks on the bottom of the toilet.

Dual Density Shit - The kind where some shit floats and some shit sinks to the bottom of the bowl.

Exorcist Shit - The kind where yellowish-brownish liquid shoots out of your ass and burns your ass while it splatters all over the toilet. (See Liquid Shit)

Feminist Shit - No matter what it looks like or how it comes out, it's a man's fault.

Fisherman's bobber shit - the kind where you are in a public restroom, there are two people waiting on your stall, you shit and flush two times, but several golf ball size pieces are still floating at the water line.

Flood Shit - You shit so much that it acts like a huge sandbag and ends up flooding your bowl and running out all over the place, leaving you to clean up a brown, pasty mess. (Add a bonus point if John Mellencamp does a relief concert to help cleanup efforts)

Gassy shit - It's noisy and everyone within earshot is giggling.

Gee-I-wish-I-could shit - the kind where you want to shit, but all you can do is sit on the toilet, cramp and fart a few times.

Ghost shit - The kind where you feel the shit come out but there is no shit in the toilet.

Kling-On Shit - The kind where, when you go to wipe it, it's there waiting on the edge.

Lincoln Log shit - the kind that is so huge you're afraid to flush without breaking it into little pieces with the toilet brush.

Liquid shit - the kind where yellowish brown liquid shoots out and splatters all over the toilet bowl.

Little Boy Shit - Shit powerful enough to level a small city.

Mexican food shit - it smells so bad the room must be condemned.

Peek-A-Boo Shit - It comes halfway out, then it goes back in, comes back out, goes back in, etc.

Pop-a-vein-in-your-forehead shit - the kind where you strain so much you practically have a stroke.

Pregnancy Shit - The kind where you're really backed up and it makes you grunt and wheeze for a long while until it finally splits your crack in a child bearing fashion.(See Pop a Vein Shit, Spinal Tap Shit).

Rabbit Shit - It comes in cute, round portions, but there loads of it about. Actually, you're never really finished, but stop at some point from boredom.

Ribbon Shit - A semi-liquid fecal matter that is too thin to be a Lincoln Log Shit but not runny enough to be a Liquid Shit. Rather, it looks like a 1 inch wide piece of brownish fettuccine, with some specks of colour.

Richard Simmons shit - you shit so much you lose 30 pounds.

Second Wave - It happens when you're done shitting and you've pulled your pants up to your knees and you realise you have to shit some more.

Spinal Tap shit - that's when it hurts so bad coming out, you'd swear it was leaving you sideways.

Surgery Shit - After the Concrete shit, you'll have to go into surgery because your ass is torn apart so badly.

The Public Shit - Shit that reminds your senses of the warm, moist stench that embraces you when you enter a less than sanitary public restroom.

Upper class shit - the kind that thinks their shit doesn't smell.

Wet cheek shit - (the power dump!) the kind that comes out of your butt so fast your cheeks get splashed with water.

Wet shit - the kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and it feels unwiped so you have to put some toilet paper between your butt and your underwear so you don't ruin your pants with a stain.