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with himself to notice anyone else! She knew and understood that Arthur didn't trust her love for him, but who believes in love after two dates?! Such love existed only on paper, in her world! She knew it to be true!
Another fan letter arrived in the mail. "Since I read your book I can't keep you out of my mind or my heart. I just have to meet you?". Salimat couldn't go on. She scrunched it to shreds and threw it out the window. These were Arthur's first words to her. She's heard enough lies! Though, maybe he didn't really mislead her? Could she blame him for not falling in love with her? But why play games, then?
Restlessness now came upon her and she had to get out of the house. After so many sleepless nights she was weak. She got dressed, went outside, and as she walked she thought to herself: "Now I won't even know if Arthur had called". She could lie to herself: he did call, but no one was home! Salimat walked the streets aimlessly, and every time she'd see a car that resembled Arthur's, her heart would skip a beat - is that Arthur, is he looking for me? But Arthur wasn't looking for her anymore.
Salimat found herself walking towards a cafe where she first saw Arthur. She walked in, looked at the table where they sat together that day. Then she walked to the restaurant where Arthur took her on their first date, went up to where the paintings hung ? Arthur stood in front of Van Gogh's Dutch Miner painting, holding the hand of a young, pretty woman next to him. Salimat felt as if her heart stopped. She couldn't make herself move, she just stood there, in shock. Suddenly she felt sharp pain in her heart and grasped her chest with a left hand. The pain continued on down all the way to the spot from which the kidney was removed. She grabbed there with her right hand, and at that moment Arthur gently embraced the young woman, turned his head to Paul Gauguin paintings, and his eyes met Salimat's. Nothing in his appearance or demeanor changed, he pretended as if he they never met, and gazed past her. Her face turning white, she lowered her eyes, and holding on to the flaming place her kidney used to be, she slowly walked out of the restaurant.
Salimat went to the nearby church. She stood before the image of God in silence, unable to breathe or move. Huge tears rolled down her cheeks, and Salimat heard herself utter:
"Let me die, Jesus, just let me die! Have pity on my soul, I beg you!"
After a while she left the church and walked behind it to a small cemetery. Salimat walked among the headstones, stopped and read the messages of love written on them, all the while murmuring:
"How I envy you! How lucky you are, you just don't know it! You are not in pain, no one can betray you anymore!!!"
10/11
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