R. G. Mugabe

Read about him as he is.   Tell us what you already know.
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As a hoodlum
As a thug
As a president
As a Prime Minister
As a husband
As a wife snatcher
As a Hitler impersonator
As a Pinochet Impersonator
As a Haile Miriam Impersonator
As a mentor for Fascists
As a cross dresser
As an international criminal
As a large chicken
As a money horder abroad
As a platonic friend
As a lawyer.
As an economist
As a dinner guest for Smith
As a mate with dagga joints
As a cool dude
A man can be:

A homosexual
A latent homosexual
A bisexual
A latent bisexual
A true heterosexual

The Mugabe team operate on the first three labels.

We do not know yet what Tsvangirai is.

Cecil John Rhodes was a homosexual

Most British government members in Tony Blair are homosexual. That is why Mugabe understands them so well.

If you want to be a homosexual, it is up to you. What you must not do is to victimise those who are whatever they are.

All the good Mugabe did such as Education, was calculated to keep him in power so he could steal more.

In 1980 Mugabe publicly declared himself a Large chicken. since then, he has been known as The Chicken. (Jongwe in local Shona). This he thought meant that being the male chicken cockerel, he would be able to have sex with any female he liked. Well he made a good start by forcing all women to wear T-shirts with a life size picture of him on their chests. The picture was deliberately positioned so that his mouth was in the right nipple of the right breast of the wearer. Only women were allowed to wear the shirts.

He was happy with this arrangement which gave the women the feeling of being nipple caressed by the president, making them feel important to him. Many got up in the middle of the nights, leaving their poor husbands in bed, to go and see the president off when on his visits to his investments abroad, and to welcome him back from them. The husbands daren't say anything in case they were reported by the wives to the president. It meant death of a good beating.

The women said he was their Jongwe. A good Jongwe can demand sex at any time and the hen pretends to run off but stops after a few steps and gets the opportunity to mate with the Jongwe. These women did not even try to run off. They in fact run to him. Many came back without as much as a kiss. This man was over-subscribed. Only Grace, his secretary got a glimpse of his Jongwehood. She was not impressed.

After years of disappointment the women objectively examined the Jongwe mystery and found out that any jongwe is just a large chicken with an exaggerated sexual view of itself. At the end of the day the jongwe will be beheaded and made soup or stew out of like and other chicken. Also, when the eagle flies overhead, the jongwe is just as frightened as any other chicken.

In 1998 the brown eagle in the form of Morgan Tsvangirai flew overhead and gave the Zimbabwean Jongwe the fright of his life. by 1999 Morgan the eagle started hovering over Mugabe's jongweism. In late January 2000 Morgan took one tentative swipe at picking Mugabe up for a lonely flight to the eagle chicks. Mugabe panicked and started blaming his hens for allowing the eagle to fly so low. He started murdering their male children. But the hens have now seen that Jongwe is just another chicken, only large and proud. Inside he is just as frightened. A lot of confidence in the particular chicken has been lost. Stewing is imminent.

The British have a song about "Who feels like chicken to night?"

Morgan has a song about "Who feels like chicken at elections?"  

The women will be pleased to see that the most disappointing jongwe is removed and will be replaced by one whose sexual connotations are left to his bedroom.

The right nipple of the right breast of the women of the country will rest.
The men will be happy to have their wives back all night.
The T-shirt makers will be upset as no orders will be made
The petrol companies (who have no petrol have already made their money)
The country will be a normal state for the first time in its history.

This jongwe's activities have resulted in no fertile eggs being laid in the country at all. Not one good egg. A lot of noise about future eggs but no evidence. We need to stew this one.

Never again vote for anyone who calls himself "The Large Chicken"

Tell this story to all the generations to come. You can not live to tell this story unless you stew this chicken at the next general elections.

Well the other side

Do email us if you have any more information on this very famous guy